LANGUAGE USAGE THAT AMUSES ME

People have been fucking with words a long time....

 (Did you notice the number on his hat? And love the Pleasure Graph)

Some people just need a high-five.....in the face....
...with a board.....with a nail in it.....twice.

If you spent more money on the TV on your wall than the art in your house...I'm very disappointed in you.

An ad for weight GAIN!

There are 6 billion people in the world and one of them is Sean Connery.


I actually have accomplished 6 of these....

I tried to hang myself with a bungee cord and I kept almost dying over and over again.

"Making the city work together" my ass.

This "machine" would not, could not function...

There are only two kinds of music: 
The Blues and Zippity Doo-Dah.

You are going to have fun with this. Look at the picture, read the instructions and ask yourself what it is concerning...

 Highlight between brackets for answer:

[ This is an effective way to eliminate flatulence so you won't be embarrassed at the table in a restaurant ]

Yeah, that ought to work....jeeeeeeeez!


Sea World biologists attempted the first ever whale circumcision. The job required four skin divers.

ICE FISHING: When you absolutely run out of things to do.

Because being good looking will only help you in life some of the time. The rest of the time is spent struggling to find your pants before she wakes up.

 TRUE:  There is only one place in America where you can be more than 145 miles from a McDonald's; and that is in North Dakota.

In my neighborhood I'm not sure if it's fireworks or a drug deal gone bad.

 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!

I try to glean the gems from the thousands of computer things like these...hope you enjoy....

 ( Forgot Password? - HAHAHAHAH!!!)

That made me laugh out loud when I thought about the hundreds of emails I get with thousands of blue email addresses attached to an email that started in 1998, and the sender thought maybe I hadn't seen it yet. I do like funny shit, guys, don't get me wrong, but if you aren't the first or one of the first ones to get something....then I can almost guarantee you I have not only seen it, but if it's funny it has already been posted.
But thanks anyway.

This is kind of hard to read, yet interesting nonetheless...

 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

Long read, but if you have ever been in college you will enjoy it....

Do you think she has the slightest idea what her cap says?

If you don't own a TV, at what is all your furniture pointed?

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. 




You don't want to get me started on this topic.

My daughter, when she was young, came home from school with a story about a teacher accusing her of something of which she was not guilty. I told her that life was not fair and that the teach is just human and made a mistake....get over it.


Laugh a little each day...it's better than chicken soup...at least that's what the chickens say.




As a man who used to write...oh, ALL THE TIME, I can relate to this.

Once I had to kill off a child in one of my novels and it actually made me very sad. I felt guilty that I had to kill it off simply because the next few chapters would be easier to write without it.
I will never forgotten that. I actually walked in the house and my wife looked at me and asked me what was wrong. I told her that I had to kill off a child in my book and I'm not sure she understood.


It is so hard to conceal the guilty from the reader that after a couple of novels I just used the Columbo model....just tell the reader who did what, then show how the good guy finds him out. I got pretty goddamn good at it.

1 million $1 bills weigh exactly one ton.
(at least that's what the internet says)

The next three images tells a little story. Read them as if they are a conversation between three men on a bass boat. I like it....

And now, gentle readers, I offer you my new favorite word...

TOONS OF THE DAY....
(Note: I think all three of these are hilarious)

One of my very own....

(I have no idea why I wrote that or what it means, but it is very old and well....I'm tired of looking at it as I scroll)

WOMEN WHO LOOK LIKE SLUTS,

BUT PROBABLY AREN'T....

And lastly....
My wife and I are going to take a road trip to Canada next summer. We want to take the back roads and such, but if any of you know anything about Canada that we need to know, please let me know.
I've already found out that there ain't a way in the world to get a handgun across the border....bummer that.
I know that they don't have near as many roads as the US, so I may have to plan carefully. That's where you come in.
Your help would be appreciated.