About Me

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I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

FUN WITH LANGUAGE


Yeah, I think we all agree....




Don't mistake "Til death do us part" for a lifetime warranty.
 Okay?.........?


TRUE: My buddy read me on obit from the newspaper today. It was for Johnny "Cooter-Boo" Elmore from Allendale, SC.
Look it up if you don't believe me.



Same old, same old.....


TRUE: A man said these exact words to me today:
"I remember one time...and I remember it just as clearly as I remember the day Kennedy got shot...the first time I ever saw a man light his own fart."






The reason people like me should breed is to combat the increasing amount of idiots in the world.








Do you realize that in a couple of decades, rap music will be golden oldies?







Is the human sex drive so powerful that people in Africa...or wherever....who can't feed themselves continue to have children that they know they can't possibly feed?






I always felt sorry for Godzilla.






I'm starting to believe that the joy of life is principally from human relationships.



My VERY rare cat reference....


Common sense isn't all that common.






Don't play games with a girl who can play the game better than you. (and this has nothing to do with sports)






Does anyone think that they are ever the 100,000th visitor to a site?






I like to tell people that when I was a young man I got more ass than a toilet seat in a sorority dorm.






When I was young and needed a new coat, I would throw a BYOB party, then just take my pick from forgotten garments.



Interesting this.....be careful my friends....
Yes, this was used in a court of law.

???????


I love it that my wife's laugh is funnier than the joke....I mean that.



But......BUT....art might just save me...and I mean that...



Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.
Mark Twain (maybe)



Run, my friend......RUN!

 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!



Of all the ways to kill a zombie, I like stabbing them in the eye with a wooden spoon the best.






This is for my dear friend, Kent, who used to write headlines for a living....

If you and your wife's hobby is to do this kind of thing, as me and mine are, you might want your lawyer to read this..







TOONS TO AMUSE....




One of my very own...

WOMEN WHO LOOK LIKE SLUTS TAKING THEIR TOPS OFF FOR OUR AMUSEMENT, BUT MAYBE ARE NOT......




AND THEN THERE'S THIS....



3 comments:

The Boy said...

http://www.mcsorleysnewyork.com/home.html

so i saw this on a previous post, i had to look it up, one day, it is my eternal goal from here on out, it is my goal to go to this place and watch two irish midgets wrestle over a pint of guiness, you in?

Ralph Henry said...

Anything that involves midget...count me in!

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