HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
I enjoy long romantic walks to the beer fridge.
Last night my wife and I were messing around and she said she wanted me to tease her. So I said, "Alright, fatty."
They used the image from "Clockwork Orange"...
Crossword clue: A good way to end up in a cast
_ _ _
[ ACT ]
Sometimes I like to dress up like an anesthesiologist. 
STRANGERS HAVE THE BEST CANDY.
If any of you are having a bad day, remember that in 1976 Ronald Wayne sold his 10% share in Apple for $800.
It would now be worth $58 billion and change.
(that's what the interweb said, folks. I would just like to know the name of the guy who he sold it to)
I wonder if the next planet we destroy will also get its own holiday.
I accidentally wore a red polo shirt to Target.
I'm not a psychopath.
I'm a highly functioning sociopath
PHOTOGRAPHS I WISH I HAD TAKEN
TOONS....
ONE OF MY VERY OWN....
WOMEN WHO ARE OLD OR DEAD NOW...
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