TUESDAY #1775

Headline from a section of USAToday:

DIGITAL DEVICES GIVING A BIG BOOST TO BOOK READING.

That’s good news…right?

"Critics are blown away by Alfonso Cuaron's Gravity, an orbital thriller starring Sandra Bullock and George Clooney. Kenneth Turan, with the LA Times, writes that "words can do little to convey the visual astonishment this space opera creates," while Richard Roeper describes it is among "the most stunning visual treats of the year and one of the most unforgettable thrill rides in recent memory."

(I never saw any of that...I couldn't keep my eyes off Sandra Bullock's ass)

As more states pass medical marijuana laws, or legalize it outright, the TSA is heading for a don't-ask/don't-tell police on weed at airports. The official policy is to refer drug possession to local law, but where the law doesn't care, that's rather pointless.

Why does this not surprise me....

America imprisons more people than any other nation in the history of the Earth, and those prisoners' only lifeline to the outside world is the prison phone-system, from which they must make collect-calls. Those calls are billed by Global Tel Link and companies like it, companies that offers kickbacks to the prisons that use its services, which bill prisoners' families more than a dollar a minute, hundreds of times more than free-market carriers. GTL is making over $500M by exploiting the vulnerable families of the most vulnerable people in America, and its competitors are making hundreds of millions more.

This is Tony Roma. He scored 48 points in one NFL game...

....and lost.
It was a hell of a ride for us avid fans.

Heard this on a TV commercial: “Call your doctor immediately if you experience lose of hearing or vision.” How are you suppose to see the phone if you are blind and how are you supposed to hear the commercial if you’re deaf?

What do you think this means?

I think it means not falling for the disinformation we are bombarded with daily. Fear of ourselves is almost complete for most people, but the truth is, we are the safest people on earth...ever. Look it up....please.
On a related topic, South Carolina just became first in the nation for domestic violence deaths.

It was my wife's fault. She's the one who told me to dance like no one was watching.

They must be French.

The cute little dinosaur was made by hand by astronaut Karen Nyberg on the International Space Station.

Not to sound like a bore...but how much do you think that thing is worth now?

When I lay on my death bed, I just don't want to look back and think..."I could have drank more."

Soviet plane-spotting head-gear...

You use the earphones to isolate the sound of the engines, thus aligning the special glasses with the target.

How to know you live in a ghetto...

Here's another...

 Get it?

I think mischief is one of mankind's greatest achievements.
A little mayhem always brings a smile to my face.

The poor should look poor...

I'll admit it:
I don't want people on government handouts to drive a better car than me.
I do not want them to have expensive phones.
I do not want them to eat better than I eat.
I do not want them to dress better than I do.
I want them to look poor....because..well, they are poor.


Ah, but my fews are not that of all...

But the face of poverty in America is "mostly" not the face of hard working and/or intelligent, yet unlucky people.

I will state again, if you end up stupid and/or without skills in a country that offers free education....it's your fault.

Now, you must understand, I'm not talking about people who find themselves in a temporary situation of bad luck...

I'm talking about the freeloaders who game the system for generations.
Oh, yeah, then there's this...

( I do find it interesting that a cartoon about smart people have a "to" for a "too"....but maybe that's just me.

Now let's move one to the silly stuff...

I've installed several of these, and we all do it the same way. We get it all set up, then we act like we're waving to a distant plane while stranded on a deserted island...

There's an old adage that applies here....

 Oh, yeah, "Look before you leap."

Noam Chomsky is one of the most powerful thinkers of our age...

 I suggest you go to YouTube and look up one of his lectures.

Try MIT OPENSOURSEWARE. They have hundreds of free college course lectures taught by some of the best professors in the world.

Idi Amin also drank blood. He was in charge during the Entebbe Raid by Israel.

Voting trends by sports enthusiasts...

I find that very interesting.

This is a bomb dog...

He travels in his own seat. I would feel very comfortable on that airplane.

I agree. I think the best survival skill is engine repair; from cars to generators to chain saws.

But as a matter of wonder, I find that humans teaching themselves how to do this is extraordinary...

That they invent a machine to do is nothing short of sorcery.

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder.

Just a reminder that I have sketched nude models before...

And my wife has been a nude model before.


I once posed nude for an art class...and no one even asked me to. I think they were making ceramic bowls.

 They were wiped out by the Inca and that's cool.

Europeans wipe out Inca and we are assholes.

Go figure.

Now THIS is how to beg...

Where are we going and why am I in this hand basket?

This dog has carved out a career detecting dry rot hidden in historic buildings...

No witnesses, no crime.

You know that sinking feeling after your doctor examines you for two minutes then gets on the intercom and says, "Nurse, cancel my two o'clock."

Sincere advice for young me:

If you love someone, don't fuck someone else.

And I can see them all...

Illegal immigrants are like sperm. Millions get in, but only one works.
But don't fuck with them. They have human sacrifice in their DNA.

There is no wrong way to consume alcohol.

Awwwwwkward.....

You know that feeling when someone adds another plate to the sink while you're washing the dishes?
Nah. Me neither.

 My mother, believe it or not, met this man one time, and got his autograph.

If it looks healthy, I know I won't like it.

US did this to reach world dominance, now  we condemn it in struggling economies...

 Same for depleting resources and polluting environment.

Now we just outsource our shame...

So I broke my foot today. That's the last time I cook naked.

WTF?

Important Update: Foot not really broken. Naked cooking will resume as planned.

It's 2013, why do printers still sound like sacrificing your first born child to the Aztec gods?



The downstairs help responds to Cinderella...

If a lesbian cockblocks another lesbian, is that a beaver dam?

 Go back and check out the button placement.

NO PHONE NUMBER?!?!...

I WANT THE BITCH'S PHONE NUMBER!!

This is why I hate going to places like Mount Rushmore...

If we go to a restaurant and are offered a booth or a table and you choose the table, I will never trust you again.

Deserve is the operative word...

 No, I think you have deserve the chance to earn my respect....with more than accidents of birth.

I remember when I first explained to my wife what car head was...

I left out one very important detail...

If you want people to like you, you have to buy them things.

I have a reoccurring dream about buying a house like this...I really do...

I get lost in it, of course, then freak the fuck out.

He needs to learn how to tattoo other people....duh!

...or move to California and sell medical marijuana.

AND THEN THERE'S THIS...
Jambe...where the fuck are you my friend... doing well, I hope. Have I been remiss in posting something stupid enough for you to respond?
Now go back and read this post's what the poor should look like.