FOLIO OLIO: SUNDAY #1801

College towns with noon home football games…you gotta love ‘em.

Got up at 7:15 this morning, grabbed a cup of coffee and headed across my driveway to my studio. Heard some racket across the street and there were 20 people in my neighbor’s front yard who had already begun their tailgating.

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Let's suppose that the ATF found out that 95% of gun smugglers' vehicle of choice was a white Ford van. What do you think they should do with this information? What would YOU do with this information?

What if you read the statistics, as I have, and discovered that 95% of the violent crimes in my area were committed by people of color? If you were a police man, what would you do with that information? Ignore it? Okay.

And just like the IRS and CPA's, Obamacare is so complicated that businesses must hire professionals to walk them through it.

Here's the actually post that got my police chief in hot water...

Yeah, it looks like he wants to punish someone for posting an opinion.
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My American Legion bar was a rather unique place.
Everyone there has something in common - military service.
Also, the customers own the place - paid for with our annual dues.
To me personally, it was attractive because there was a surreal mixture of people one would normally not find in one place, thus increasing my chance of a new perspective on a myriad of topics. Like a convicted felon sitting at a table with a sitting State Representative....and a Jew.
So why did I stop going?

My buddy, Rupert, is the Executive Director and one of his best friends is the bartender, Clint. Clint needs therapy worst than anyone I've ever known*. I've tried to talk to Clint, man to man, on many occasions - sometimes waiting until the bar closed so I wouldn't embarrass him. Basically I would point out examples of his rudeness to customers, tell him I've owned two bars and that I would have fired him on the spot had he worked for me. It was water off a duck's back. The image above reminded me of the final straw.
Clint and I were discussing something cerebral, which we did often since he is a very smart man, when a 75 year old combat veteran came up to the bar for something and stood next to me. Clint did not want him interrupting our conversation, so he dismissed this old warrior with very, very prolonged palm to the face. All this time I was trying to cease our conversation with waved hands and exaggerated head bobs...realizing it's about the worst insult to an elder who deserves respect, but Clint refused to accept my prodding for civility.
That experience cost me a lot of emotional energy; energy I refuse to waste again. Therefore I have abandoned the field as it were.
I just thought Rupert needed to know.
*Oh, back to the therapy part - When, finally, the old man was served, I asked Clint why he was so rude. He told me that he wasn't the one being rude. It was the old man being rude because he tried to interrupt our conversation.
Imagine the mindset on a man who thinks it rude when a customer approaches a bar while the bartender is in mid-conversation.
The Clint actually curled his lip when he said, "That son of a bitch always waits until I'm talking to someone before he comes up to the bar wanting something...just to piss me off."
A psychology student could write his/her thesis on that motherfucker.
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Speaking of LA airport shooting, a TV news lady said "It just shows us all how vulnerable we truly are."
Bullshit. No mention of the tens of millions of airport patrons who were not vulnerable.

For what it's worth, I think today's post has some exceptionally funny shit...

I think there's a special place in hell for people who place a free newspaper back in the rack after they've fucked up the crossword.

Theirye're.
Problem solved.

Think about this a moment...

And please don't tell me this is photoshopped, cause I really, really don't give a shit.

Had we been born elsewhere...

Those men have adorned elaborate makeup to attract a wife. The women were all out building a barn and damming the river.

"Faith is nothing but opinions that you refuse to reconsider."
What a wonderful way to put it.

Rumors like this just might work...

I mean, it was a rumor that it would make their dicks stiffen that started the trouble to begin with.

Encouraging all people to vote is stupid. Stupid people should be discouraged. How do you determine who is stupid? Just ask them, they will let you know.

I love stuff like this...

So, what it a shower? It's a controllable water supply piped overhead to rain down. So why not just make them just like that?

Give this illogic a moment...

Helps rape victim.

(One is a good thing. One is a very bad thing.)

Wife said we can try anal if I tongue her butthole first...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!!!
I think you will agree, that is the PERFECT image for that caption.

Give this one your time...please...

And then there's the American way of doing things...

IN-FUCKING-DEED!!

Famous lines that were never said...

Speaking of....

The most unexpected line in all of moviedom...in my humble opinion...

I think that people wanting to have babies should have to produce records showing how many times they've dropped their phones.

The "L" in Samuel L. Jackson stand for Motherfucker.

Nice people will not smile at this...

Went to visit my daughter in Boston one time. She lived on the fourth floor (no elevator) and to smoke I had to walk out on the top of a fire escape just like this one (except it was actually functional)...in the pitch darkness...

...and the bolts were loose and IT MOVED!!
Oh, it was cold as shit and windy.
And, yeah, I like to smoke a lot.

How to look like a complete sissy bitch in front of the entire world...

I think that motherfucking fish stuck itself into the back of the boat.

370HSSV O773H

(Read it upside down)

Wait for it...

Taiwan has THE most terrifying riot police ever...

And...AND if you film them fucking somebody up, you can't identify them individually.

It occurs to me that tattoos are kind of like hard drugs...

You see so many people who regret it, but you fool yourself into thinking you can handle it....forever.

I didn't believe this, so I looked it up...

Come to find out, the score was 31-0.

WTF?

Talk about wanting to hear the photographer's instruction.

HAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!!!

This was the weirdest movie I have ever watched....

...but I'll never forget it.

Yeah, but most of those people deserved it.

Amazing supernatural events took place at Calvary the day Christ died. There was three hours darkness in the middle of the day. The tombs were opened, and many bodies of the saints who had fallen asleep were raised; and coming out of the tombs after His resurrection they entered the holy city and appeared to many. An earthquake shook Calvary.

And no historian wrote any of that shit down.