SUNDAY #1808

 I have been very vocal in my belief that the federal government will make this Obamacare work by (like they do everything) throwing money at it until the problems go away. We Americans like free stuff, like taking more out of Social Security than we put in, free medicine for old people, etc. The problem, of course, is that the money runs out and they sell our future to pay for our present.
With that said, the number one asset of the country is its workers and the workers' number one asset is their health...healthy workers pay more taxes.

......and in the land of the free and the home of the brave...

Had a routine chest xray Friday. Once I was in possition and the nurse out of the lead room, She told me to take a deep breath, then the click, click and she ended by saying...Breathe. That's when I decided to have some fun with her.

Me: Hello…

    Her on speaker: Yes?

Have you ever forgotten to tell anybody that?

    What?

Well, I guess once would be enough, huh?

OOMVO...

There's a real push for just two time zones....

If your wife's biscuits come out a little hard, DO NOT tell her that they are like that kind of ceramic they use as space-shuttle heat shields.

Be forewarned, if you say "Guess what?" just to get my attention, you have just given me the floor for at least 15 minutes...and you can't take back a Guess what and I'm always in for the long haul.

Preserving artifacts...

I was once given use of three or four classrooms in an abandoned school to use as my studio. I stole everything that wasn't tied down...a procedure I called Preserving Artifacts. I got sets of these chairs, careful to pick only the undamaged ones.

Interesting way to improve your drawing almost instantly.
Keep your first image black and white, rather high contrast..

Turn it upside down and fold it into quarters...

Fold your drawing paper in quarters also, or just dissect it with light pencil lines.
Look at only 25% of your drawing at one time and draw in the big basic shapes first...adding detail as you progress...

The inverted image isn't really read as lip, chin, etc, so you just draw it like it looks instead of the way you were taught it ought to look.
Try it...or at least teach you kid to try it.

You can take the leopard out of the jungle, but you can't...

This has got to be the damnest costume I've seen all year...

Just another reason men get paid more...

...men have a whole body.

I know it's silly, but I keep thinking of the person who saw one of these images and they immediately thought of the other...

 Basketball seems to have a lot in common with soccer.

OOMVO...

(got that line from "Oh, Brother, Where Art Thou")

Give this one a minute...

Speaking of...I got in touch with my inner self today.
I'll never buy cheap toilet paper again.

Wait for it...

 Wait for it...

 SHE FUCKING CRAWLS OFF THE STAGE!!!

"Damnit, Jim, I'm a model, not a circus performer!" 
(Why wouldn't she just slip the shoes off?!?)

Price of a tattoo: About 200 bucks plus any future earnings over minimum wage.

 Remember, it was Tesla who said he could distribute electricity around the world very similar to modern day WiFi.

How to order you hamburger cut...give it a moment...

I used to take the batteries out of the TV remote, then when my daughter came up to me and asked what was wrong with it I would freeze like it was the remote's fault. Then when she pounded it into her palm like she had seen me do, I would come to life and gently take the remote from her and remind her of its power....ending with "This is not a toy for mere mortals."

Eighteen is too young to get married. You can't even buy alcohol. If you can't drink, how are you going to make your marriage work?

 His wife had engraved on the inside: PUT IT BACK ON.

How to survive a mass shooting...Asian Level 900...

Apparently, this is the latest thing in horror...

 It's even taught in college...

What would you do if you saw this?

 Looks like the white guy is looking for security....that's a good thing....right?

What a wonderful skill to have...

 And I'm afraid the art is dying out.

Unlike any other squirrels, these magnificent animals...

 ...can be fried like chicken and not get tough. Ummmm.
Tastes like chicken.

When my brother-in-law was 16 years old, he got shot with a .22 rifle.

 The bullet entered one side, traveled all the way through his body without doing any real damage and was poking out the other side similar to this. A couple of stitches and he was good to go.
In the South, we call that lucky as a two dick dog.

OOMVO...

Forgive me if I boast, but that is the perfect image for that gag.

A little passive-aggressive goes a long way with me...