THURSDAY #1813

 Yes, there is one Jew left and you know he must have balls of solid brass.

Interesting problem to have...

Sever months ago (okay, it was over a year ago) I did something to my computer that kept me from watching any video. My wife found a young man to help me fix it and here is part of my first email to him:

"...so now I can't watch shit...no TED.com, no YouTube, no porn."

Then after he finished, I sent this:

"Thank you very much for fixing my computer. I will think of you every time I jack off to PornHub."

I'm starting to like this guy...

Just think how awesome it would be if gay marriages started with the words "queerly beloved we are gathered here today".

One of the very first weird-ass images on the interweb that let me know I was welcome...

My live changed the day grandma told me to help her put her teeth back in.

When people tell me"You're gonna regret that in the morning", I sleep until late afternoon because I'm a problem solver.

Have you ever broken a bone while having sex?
I have.

 But let's be serious. Withholding tourist dollars CAN make a difference. That's one reason I've wanted to open up Cuba and get them hooked on our easy money.

"Say hi to Big Sal."

Get it? I could have watched this for hours...and bet money on it...

I knew I was an adult when my mother-in-law told me to shut the toilet so the baby doesn't drown in there.

If Adam and Eve were white and evolution doesn't exist...where do black people come from?

I think I'm starting to lose my mind. But as long as I keep the part that tells me when to pee, I should be okay.

OOMVO...

Well, India may be headed for Mars, but Pakistan will not be left behind...

About 165 million years ago — Bam! — froghoppers' mating session was interrupted by a volcanic eruption.

The caption on this read: Oswald's Band.

I thought a better name would be The Assassins.

 And this might be the only photograph with two independent assassins in one photo.

Said to be true, and who am I to argue...

This caused me a weeklong headache...

Some people can't handle 8 am classes...I can't handle 8 am anything.

My wife accidentally stepped on a scale and now she's on suicide watch.

What does a Texas Aggie smell like?

OOMVO...

Welcome to the real world...

I know a whole bunch of people that this would piss off...

I want one.

"Welcome to the internet, I will be your guide."

I watched this movie. It was mostly funny....in a dark way...

This juxtaposition just seems so......eerie....

When someone moves out of my check-out line to a shorter one that suddenly stops...