WEDNESDAY #1804

What a mass shooter looks like when he's shot in the mouth...

Nothing to see here, people, just two drunk guys with a Mr. T midget...

Maybe it's because there are Evangelicals who think Israel MUST be protected because it has been prophesized that this is where the end days will begin, but you have to ask yourself how you would react if the UN stepped in and gave Texas back to the Mexicans and then they took large parts of New Mexico, Oklahoma, etc.

There are two sides to this struggle and we need not react in lock step.

No one I know shamed themselves like this...

But it seems sometimes I'm painted with that broad brush just because I'm a white guy who lives in the South.

Starvation is now also being used as a tool a war in Syria...lesson learned...

I read that polio has made a come back there because the children don't have access to the cure.

You think this is real? It looks pretty real...

Love the deck contouring to nature...

 ...But who puts a black box house in the middle of the forest?

Today I donated money to the fund for my wife to shave her head in March. I can hardly wait.

How did we let this happen, ya'll...

I saw a protest sign on line that read: YOUNG PEOPLE AGAINST TOLERANCE!
Wow!

For my professor kin...

 It all started on Reddit when an Australian posted his understanding of America...

 Then the Americans got involved...

 Then the British...which I thought the funniest...

Then the European added this...

And a clever one...

What if we just changed Their, They're and There all to Thair and just got on with our miserable lives?


What one would expect, I guess...

Close encounters of the third kind…space ship is cued to give that little tune then it ends with ultra-deep tones that blows out window….remember?

Well, my wife was snoring the other night and it sounded EXACTLY like that sound....I swear!

Amazing...

It's comforting to know that my wife and I are equally maladjusted.

There are still people who continue to refer to this as a total mystery...

 When there is the very rare storm, that mud gets as slippery as ice and the winds on the ground have been clocked at 70 mph. Mystery solved.

You want to jack up interest in ball games....

 Try this...

The only reason that most kids stay in school today is because they don't want to be unemployed college drop outs. They want to be unemployed college graduates.

Okay, who the fuck is playing Jumanji?

A black guy, a priest and a rabbi got on a plane...

That's one of the most eerie things I ever seen!!!

I'm suspicious of people who don't like dogs.
But I totally trust my dog when it doesn't like a person.

Read this somewhere...like the language...

For every Christmas Tree lit before Thanksgiving, an elf drowns a baby reindeer.

OOMVO...

I feel compelled to revisit a topic again.
I have told this joke dozens of times in the last few days:
"My father always told me not to follow a path laid down by others...he died in a mine field in Germany during WWII."
Now, here's the funny part. Most of them I told that most people don't get that it's a joke and think I'm serious. I TELL them it's a joke. Then I tell the joke and they say something really, really stupid, like, "Man, I'm sorry."
I admit, I tell a very convincing joke. I put a lot of emotion in to joke telling, but even after being forwarned that most people don't get it....THEY STILL DON'T GET IT!!!
Maybe I ought to tell jokes to smarter people.

Is this cheating?

Placing my bare ass on a cold toilet seat is my climbing Mount Everest.

Oh, look, a huge gnome with a giant buttplug...

 Those zany Europeans....better take a picture.

Does this guy look like he has any stories?

Here we see Taylor Swift picking her ass and sprinkling it over her willing fans in an illuminati ritual....

Found a website that took stock photos and added comments from Pornhub...

This guy has some great images done this way...

OOMVO...

This could really work...

QUICK! You splash shit in your face! What's the first thing you do?! OPEN YOU MOUTH AS WIDE AS POSSIBLE!

Lesson learned?

 When doing this, don't stop the car.

Can you imagine what would happen to that person if they brought that same logic into my poker game...or a new car lot, or a used car lot...or a bank...or a ballot box?

And most Christians would think this is an evil thing. I think it is the most precious gift you can bestow on another human in your charge.