THURSDAY #1874

You've all probably seen this, but in case you haven't...enjoy...

I went to get my teeth cleaned today...something I detest.
An older woman was my dental hygienist and right in the middle of the procedure she whispered in my ear, "What color was your hair before it turned white?"
WHISPERED.....IN MY EAR!!!!

And by the way, I'm taking New England over Denver...all comers.

Chocolate syrup never tastes better than when licked from human flesh.

Believe it or not, about 20 years' worth of potentially life-saving drugs are sitting in labs right now, untested. Why? Because they can't get the funding to go to trials; the financial risk is too high.

SYDSE...

I've found a cure for forgetting people's names as soon as they introduce themselves...I just stay home and never meet anyone new.

CNN bleeped the word "douche" from a woman calling a man "douche bag". Pleeeeez.

French fry bun...cause we can, that's why...

I once asked my wife, "What did you do during Spring Breaks?"
She answered, "Black guys."

My daughter was once throwing a fit in a store because I wouldn't buy her something, but I didn't yield. Then she said, "Buy it for me or I will tell Grandma you stuck your weenie in momma's mouth."

That's what my wife looks like when she watches horror movies on her period.

Amazing...

Men gossip just as much as women do; surprising men, but not women.

Well, that does it! Pot makes you the coolest human on the planet...

What a wonderful way to teach children wave action...

Originality is a good excuse for artists with no skills.

Plant in amber...

I normally don't post things about famous fools doing foolish things, but this guy rises to a new level...

A team of researchers working with the Baryon Oscillation Spectroscopic Survey (BOSS) has determined the distances to galaxies more than 6 billion light-years away to within 1 percent accuracy — an unprecedented measurement...

"There are not many things in our daily lives that we know to 1-percent accuracy," David Schlegel, a physicist at Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory and the principal investigator of BOSS, said in a statement. "I now know the size of the universe better than I know the size of my house."

Apparently, there are planets every-fucking-place...

I think it was John Lennon who said, "Life is what happens when you're making plans."
Of course, he's the same one who said, "I am the walrus; I am the egg man."

Might needed to have given this a little more thought...

An excellent example of the use of language in graffiti...

An awful example of same...

A formula painting is exactly what it sounds like. You pick up a spray can and think, "First I do A, then I do B, then C, and call it art."

I fucking hate formula paintings.

Sleeping is the height of genius.

The Russian alphabet looks like all those buttons on a calculator that we are all afraid to touch...

OOMVO...

My mother once told me that there were plenty of fish in the sea. I told her that until I catch one I'll just play with my rod.

Panic always begins when somebody yells "DON'T PANIC!"

When it snows, that's just god's way of still not existing.

Bomber being towed to a museum...

I'm not sure why I'm so fascinated by these things...but I am...

My friend swore to me that when she worked at an office supply store, more than one customer came in asking for a "black and white" printer cartridge.

People have been problem solvers for a long, long time...

If you love something, let it go.
If you don't love something, definitely let it go.
So, basically, just drop everything...who cares.

 I give you Example #1...

 And most women (and men) simply refuse to acknowledge that they are being manipulated SOLELY to make other people rich.

I will guarantee you that with enough of an advertising budget, women would rush out to buy these...

I find that rather sad.

There is always a little "go fuck yourself" in every "whatever".

 "I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat and the lifeboat loves the teeth of the sperm whale, and the sperm whale loves the flavor of naval uniforms." 

Situational awareness...it's a good thing...

Nothing succeeds like excess.
Moderation is a fatal thing.

Summary of organic chemistry: 
CARBON IS A WHORE.

AND THEN THERE'S THIS...

My nephew - the one who lives next to a lake with fish, shoots deer from his porch, has a garden and has chickens - is now raising bees for the honey....

That is not he.
I asked him to let me know if he got any instructions that dealt with the worldwide dying off they are now undergoing.
Well, I found a documentary on that very thing on Netflix..."More Than Honey".
Here's a couple of facts I learned that blew me away:
1. Before the settlers arrived, there were no honeybees in America.
2. In North America, Europe and China, the honeybee can no longer survive without drugs.
3. Mao said, "Kill the sparrow because they eat the people's grain." With millions of humans doing just that, the sparrow was wiped out, followed by a drastic increase in insects. The insects were killed with insecticides, which also killed the bees...ergo: Mao was an asshole.

In China today, humans pollenate each flower one at a time...

And in America...