Almost time for the Olympics and memories like these...
Whose camp to you want to be in?
"Putin Says He Likes Elton John (Just Not The Other Gays)"
"UKIP Councillor For Henley-on-Thames David Silvester Says Gays Make It Rain"
85 richest humans own more than all
assets held by half the human race...
If I may be so bold as to make a prediction...I want to start an over/under on the date the whole system gets so corrupted that it collapses.
(that was rather clever, actually)Seriously, of such things are revolutions born.
Before you "class jealousy" nerve flares, I know some people invent things (Bill Gates), have unbelievable physical attributes (Patton Manning) or artistic skills (name a singer), and these people need to make more money than, say, the guy who changes you tires. But now the investment game is so fixed as to disallow average folks from winning. Add to that the power to buy your congressmen and get special treatment, and, well, I'm a tad upset.
People have tended to marry people they can actually talk to
since a very long time ago.
LaGuardia Airport is world’s second largest homeless
center.
Computers will do what you tell them to do, not what you want
them to do....which is rather sad.
You might be surprised about how many things you can do with
an aquarium.
When medieval people wrote about birds, what they were
actually writing about was sex. Even monks. Especially monks.
OOMVO...
If you want to lose your faith in God, study religion.
Startling memento mori...
See the woman with outstretched arms? In the next second or so she was struck (literally) dead by lighting with her family watching...and it was caught on camera...
(Santos is - was - the woman's husband)
If you set the bar lower, a larger proportion of people will
meet your expectations.
Catching pygmy hippos in Africa is really difficult. Also,
they are apparently really tasty, but greasy.
Turns out that if you want people to like you during a war,
you probably shouldn’t blow up their house.
Hyperbole is the best word in the world!
"A print of my wife's vagina?"
I read that males ejaculate at 27 mph.
That must be why it's illegal in a school zone.
This guy makes stuff out of a carved block of wood...
So, let's take a closer look at just one of them in progress...
Computer "person" was not taught to walk. It learned it by trial and error...
Try to appreciate the beauty in that...I think it means that given ever possible solution, you and I walk in the most efficient way possible.
The sexual position formerly know as 69 will now be referred to as 96, due to the economy, the price of eating out has gone up.
Terrifying enough...
...and that motherfucker is ALIVE the whole time...
Uncle Ralph says...
The Romans had strange ideas about geography and animals.
They also used up all the European lions and ate all of the silphium, so now we
don’t have any and this is sad.
Confessing to witchcraft in the 16th century wasn’t likely to
save your life but it did give you a chance to spill some juicy gossip about
your neighbors.
If we want to play the blame game the French screwed up Syria
first.
HIGHLIGHT [ BANANA ]
You know you're getting old when you're no longer surprised that there are successful people younger than you.
Just because something is immoral doesn’t make it illegal.
You can't imagine how funny I find this...
Every time I talk to a man in a suit, I ask him if he knows that he has completely make-believe fake buttons on his sleeve. I actually smile at the absurdity of him trying to logically explain them. I find shit like that hilarious. I take those stupid buttons as the official "I am a sheep" badge...a mindless creature wondering our fashion demand strewn landscape without a thought of their own.
And I may be wrong, but I think the number of buttons has something to do with how much you paid for your suit.
Women, I really, really don't want to sound sexist, but if you are having trouble with your man, you might want to at least think about this...
On numerous occasions I have advised men to find out exactly what the clitoris is and what you need to do with it............tit for tat.........pun intended.
These next two images came from that HUGE collection that England just put on line. I found these in this order and thought it......dead on...
When you collect oral folklore from your Southern family, you
find out creepy things.
These next two images came from that HUGE collection that England just put on line. I found these in this order and thought it......dead on...
Warning: Amputation may cause limping.
Owning a cool electric guitar is a totally legitimate way of picking up girls.
Bad puns are simple enough that a computer can make them up,
but actually funny jokes are harder.
If you want people to make good decisions about climate
change policy, tell them about it when it is really, really hot.
Galileo might have been right, but he also might’ve been a dick.
*see below
AND THEN THERE'S THIS...
You may have noticed that I have used some rather unusual quips lately...the quips that separate images. I call them "Rust Quips" and I like them a different color and boldness than mere commentary. Well, as in the Galileo example above, they are graduate students being asked to describe their thesis in one sentence. I've read through thousands and picked out the ones I like and...well...stole them. I hope their unusualness amuses you.
You may have noticed that I have used some rather unusual quips lately...the quips that separate images. I call them "Rust Quips" and I like them a different color and boldness than mere commentary. Well, as in the Galileo example above, they are graduate students being asked to describe their thesis in one sentence. I've read through thousands and picked out the ones I like and...well...stole them. I hope their unusualness amuses you.
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