FOLIO OLIO: TUESDAY #1903

Today I bought a device to help me put on my socks. It's hard to explain how it works, but it's a big help.

You see, when you fuck your hip up you can't lean over. As a matter of fact, you can't have the angle made by your femur and your spine less than 90 degrees. That means you can't even lean over to pick anything up.

Nice block...

By the way, using a hip like that makes me cringe.

The best players get special perks...

Tug of war made the program for every Olympics between 1900 and 1920. The sport was played in pretty much the same way you remember from grade-school field days, but it was also a magnet for Olympic controversies. The 1904 gold medal–winning American squad was ostensibly representing the Milwaukee Athletic Club, which was terrific until further research established that the team was actually composed of ringers recruited from Chicago. Scandal struck again at the 1908 Games when the American squad protested that the police boots worn by the British pullers from the Liverpool Police team were equipped with illegal cleats for extra traction. When the protest failed, the American pullers left the Games in a huff. All told the British teams grabbed five medals to the Americans' three before the sport fell off the program following the 1920

I hate to say I told you so...

Researchers have determined the now-infamous Martian rock resembling a jelly doughnut, dubbed Pinnacle Island, is a piece of a larger rock broken and moved by the wheel of NASA's Mars Exploration Rover Opportunity in early January.

How long did it take you to see what this is?

A duck on a sunroof.

This took me longer than it should have...

How to sell bathroom fixtures...

Show a half-naked young boy with a grinning man spying on him from the door.

How is this not illegal? If I did that to my dog they would lock me up...

Coloring book called, "99 Ways To Die"...

Ladies and gentlemen, this is totally a rip-off to sell more phones. Shatterproof glass has been around for a long time...

Is this true?

My doctor asked me if I was sexually active. I told him I was when I could afford it.

The best laid plans...

Poverty will never be eradicated because rich people don’t give a shit about the poor.

People who learned a bunch of stuff must've felt pretty stupid when Wikipedia came out.

This reminds me of that game all children (at least boys) play that goes something like this..."Who do you think would win...an elephant or a rhino?"

OOMVO...

Meth addicts must pay for drugs with all the money they get from the tooth fairy.

HA!

This is what my wife and I plan to do on the Trans-Canadian Railway. We will ride out two days seeing the view to the north, then two days back looking south.

Classic movie lines presented as children's book illustrations...

Interesting notion...

Fuck white people, indeed...

Images like that make me want to puke.

You think they will try to reattach this?

Think opening ceremony...

Being an adult is mostly pretending to like wine and saying "the economy" a lot.

Sure, illegal immigrants steal your jobs, but maybe if someone without contacts, money or language skills steals your job...well, you're shit.

This guy died from a snake bite...

But by god, he walks the fucking walk. The bible says if you believe you will be able to handle snakes without fear...HE FUCKING CALLED GOD'S BLUFF!.....and lost.