MONDAY #1927

Just my wife entertaining her minnions from a St. Patrick's Day float...

People do like a good mystery...

There is a very famous saying by someone I can't remember that goes something like this: The solution is usually the simplest explanation. Well, this missing airplane will probably be just that, but I'm sticking with it being stolen to use later for nefarious purposes.

Being the armchair activist that I am, I enjoy a good riot as well as anyone, but the Ukraine demonstrates that rule by mob has its consequences.

My nephew will tell us if this is a real threat...

I figure crimes like "breaking and entering" didn't really exist for cavemen....more like just "entering" I guess.

 Nakedness - another upside of marijuana.

Smuggest motherfucker the world has ever known...

My age is very inappropriate for my behavior.

(and, yes, it was a Fox station)

 I don't see how anyone could look at the above and not believe in evolution.

Most people’s only professional ambition is to get a desk where no one can see their computer screen.

An idea for my nephews...

I once broke up with a Japanese girl, but the next day she acted like nothing happened. It’s like I had to drop the bomb twice for her to get the point.

Turtles are one of the few animals that if you find one, you can pretty much keep it.

I love sleeping so much that sometimes I even dream about it.

OOMVO...

I once told a waiter, "I would like a Forrest Gump size amount of shrimp."

You’ve really gotta hand it to short people.

(read that again)

 It kind of does look like that, don't it?

A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

This is very subtle...

This is a single particle of interplanetary dust, its image captured with the help of a scanning electron microscope. That amount of interplanetary dust is a "1 zodi", a unit of measurement I never even thought to assume existed.

This is me when my wife has spent 20 minutes on the same aisle at the store...

I remember the first time I took my daughter camping. She got out of the car, looked around and said, “Tree? Everywhere trees!? What the hell is this place?”

OOMVO...

Want to end a conversation with me? Just say, “Not according to the internet.”

Once when I was pretty fucked up, I decided to put cream cheese and bagels in a blender to see if I could make a bagel Smoothie. When my wife asked why I was putting bagels in the blender at 2 in the morning I just stared at it and couldn’t think of an answer.

An email I sent my wife:

“First love is great, but last love is awesome.”

 Though embarrassed, China can't do a thing about North Korea. China wants a buffer between themselves and a Western ally and if anything happened in North Korea there would be millions of hungry refugees flood across the border.

Wife's started her Spring cleaning...

I stay in shape by running from my problems.

I heard a CNN reporter pronounce seismic "sees-mic"....twice!

 Interesting how the structure of the tree, its roots and the leaf all take the same form.

 There is a special place for people who hear voices and it involves padded walls.

I actually had to think about such things when I was growing up...

That's what she said...

If you don't get this, it's okay, it really is...

There comes a time in the day that no matter what the question...the answer is beer.

I still pull out the pin with my teeth and casually toss the grenade every time I find the right sized pine cone.

The age of consent in Germany is 14. It's like the Alabama of Europe.


Go home, California, you're drunk...

I like that World War 2 is called World War 2. It sounds like the sequel of an action movie...WORLD WAR 2....GERMANY'S BACK AND THIS TIME IT'S PERSONAL. 
(actually that's pretty much it)


I saw something like this done in real time...

There were five or six small planes flying side by side and a computer put out a little puff of smoke every so often to spell out an ad. It was very impressive.

This is what usually happens when the people decide enough is enough...

...but in this country the people have been convinced that they are completely powerless and act accordingly.

DEMOCRACY: The freedom to elect your own dictators.