FRIDAY #1952

There are a whole bunch of reasons women are paid less that doesn't involve mean old men. One is the vile habit of women abandoning their career to take care of babies. 

You can't make shit like that up.

Rockets red glare....our flag was still....oops....

Many people still think that gender is binary.

Want to guess what this kid is responding to?

 He's inside a carwash for the first time. The kid does seem to be a bit of a pro handling that bottle.

Can you think of one reason not to own geraniums?

Why the fuck not...

Come to find out, drinking nettle tea doesn't cure scabies.

Shit you don't see every day...

FACT: Mars is populated entirely by robots.

She was thiiiiiis close....

Rugby is a bit like American football only it's played by men.

I have a friend who makes chairs out of grocery carts...

Dogs. Life's apology for every crappy day ever.

I can't believe that I wasn't called in to be an advisor on this book...

There are thousands of these button options on line, but this one had a rather funny add-on...

Oh, look, I'm a gangster...a real rebel...

 Think about this a moment...

By the way, it was stated that that was the first time it has ever been filmed that way. 

Can you spot the problem with this fork maker?

An expert in such things believes that the cross that got Jesus was actually an X shape. For one thing, hardly any of the trees in that area grew to more than six feet and were only inches in diameter. Further, he thinks the person was nailed to the back with nails through the back of the hand and through the ankle bones, from the side. They have found a bone with a nail in it to prove this.

Quality control at the mirror factory is something I could see myself doing.

I'm assuming they want us to count the whole pile. My answer later. 

Black hole eating a star...

My parents spanked me as a child. As a result I now suffer from a psychological condition know as Respect For Others.

OOMVO...a throw-back on the thigh gap trend...

Post-game selfie of a hockey player...

Why Germany won't be allowed to host the World Cup.

I once called in sick with Ebola because I had heard it mentioned on the news.

 Of course, the first question a thinking person would ask is, "What's the Techni-Quarks made of.

That is one ultra-fast working book...

Next year will complete 100 years since Titanic's naufrage.
(neat word naufrage. It means ruin or wreck)

 Case in point...

The stack of balls: I found it much easier to work from the bottom up. The bottom tier is 4x4 or 16. Working up I came up with 30.

 Yeah, he knew language...

I spend way too much time perfecting how I would word my wishes so that the genie couldn't cheat me.

Sometimes size does matter...

 (my deputy buddy would fine that hil-fucking-arious)

Who cares if 85% of Americans don't know where Ukraine's borders are on a map. Neither does Vladamir Putin.


This add shows up often on a site

 I have no idea why, but I found that very, very funny.

I think there is a universal standard for beauty. It has to do with symmetry and proportion.

In the same way the pentatonic scale in music is know to all cultures.

"Can't we all just get along?"

A baseball thrown a 90 MPH has about the same energy as a .22 caliber bullet fired from a handgun.

To hell with stripper poles...I want a stripper rock climbing wall!!!!

Guy bought a mouse to feed his snake. Well, it seems the mouse was more hungry than the snake...

I said no to drugs once. I looked a bag of weed right in the face and, like a loving but firm father, I said, "No."
I was high at the time.

 OOMVO...

A sane 6 is better than a crazy 9.

Brazilian beauty pageant...

I understand braille on drive thru ATM's because a blind person could just walk up. But why is there braille on snack machines where you have to see the item's number to make your selection?

When I was in high school, I always signed the weird kids' year book so they would kill me last.

One of my drop dead gorgeous bartenders started dancing when her favorite song was played. I looked at the guy next to me and said, "Please make her stop. My penis can only get so erect.

If you flip someone the bird the exact moment lightning strikes, it's called a Thunderbird and is currently the most powerful known insult.



Yeah, this about says it all...

I don't know that I've ever seen a fat turtle.

Old, but still made me smile...

This is me when a Christian friend told me he went to see Noah, then complained that it wasn't "historically accurate"....

The saddest part about drinking alone is having to draw the dick on your own forehead.

I thought that last drinking alone gag was really fucking funny.

Polite Syrian tanker closes the hatch of another tank...

 That's the damnest thing I've seen in a long time.