FOLIO OLIO: TUESDAY #1977

THE NEWSY BITS

Russian Indian Givers....(a Southern phrase)...

Dramatic photos of Afghan landslide...

They plan not to dig up the hundred of bodies and declaring it a mass grave instead.

This has been all over the news lately...

Older mice got stronger, exercised longer and performed better mentally after they were injected with blood from young mice, or even just with a substance that's more abundant in younger blood.

(How long do you think it will take before kids are selling their blood on the black market?)

The closest I've ever come to eating butter is eating butter.

(I wonder how many people will take the time to get that)

I don't wear fur because it's too damn expensive.

If you are thinking about asking a girl to marry you,
first have them help you set up a tent,
then all will become clear.

Never, ever, tell your wife that her latest bad hair day might just be caused by having bad hair.

These guys didn't make the cut...

“We met on Craig’s List,” something said often
on the witness stand.

Were those people on foot that he just blew into little pieces?

Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes,
but when you look back,
everything is different.

Scientist and shark enthusiast David Shiffman has done the calculations and he estimates that one extinct megalodon, the largest shark to ever live, could yield 70,456 bowls of shark fin soup.

Yes it is....and rather funny...so it's a wash.

Scientists speculate that babies may have evolved to wake up in the middle of the night because overnight breastfeeding delays ovulation and, thus, the creation of a new sibling to compete for resources.

Not for a million fucking dollars...

Is it customary to tip my lingerie fitter?

What is that she's holding?

Well, it's a pencil. Here is the modern version...

Apple Inc., Google Inc., Intel Corp. and Adobe Systems Inc. have settled a major lawsuit for colluding not to poach employees from each other.

Being alive is bad for you…but worth it.

I told a doctor this one time...

Two OOMVO...

While in a Whole Foods, I heard a woman arguing with the meat market manager because she wanted grass fed organic chickens.

Dear Young Men,
You only get ten years to be in your twenties.
So stick your dick in every single thing you can think of.
And when you can't think of anything else, ask other guys for some additional ideas.
Your Welcome.

The best kind of therapy is beach therapy.

When in Paris, on the Left Bank, I spent a lot of time watching people draw other people for $40. I found a young woman from Russia who really knew what she was doing and hired her to do my wife...

I find this very distressing...

Here are three more animals tortured with memories of a long lost habitat...

Many people eat the same thing for breakfast everyday, but if you eat the same thing for dinner, people think you are strange.

Things of quality have no fear of time.

(bullshit)

Just another reason I preach against organized religion.

My wife eats intensely enough to consider it exercise.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

If you have never had a woman look at you like this, you are a very lucky man...

That is the "appraisal" look and you better do something wonderful very quickly. She is about to say "I just find it funny how..." and the truth is, she does NOT find it funny.
She is thinking about saying something like, "An erection is just a penis pressurized with blood...not as sexy as one might think. It's like you stab me with your blood sword, then make that face."
(the that face is a combination of victory and pleasure...mostly victory)

What if we threw a revolution, and nobody came?

AND THEN THERE'S THIS...

The other night I was flipping through TV channels when I stumbled upon Forrest Gump and the scene with my friend, Bill Roberson, listed in the credits as "Fat Man On Bench"...