WEDNESDAY #1978

I would like to welcome my many new German viewers. I hope you enjoy your visit.

J. Michael Straczynski has posted a brilliant, inflammatory set of "rules of the new aristocracy: "We are the New Aristocracy because we were born into it. We got our money the old fashioned, Medieval way: our parents gave it to us. We were born into the wealth that we stole from you and your family over the last fifty years."

Not real sure about this one...

When I was young, I made a conscious decision to exercise eccentricity, figuring that by the time I was old and did goofy shit, nobody would notice.

 Why don't we make battle tanks out of the same material as that clasp?

There is no moral reason to preserve endangered species. 
We do it because it makes us feel good inside.

I have no idea how they did this...

....but it looks rather painful.

One of the first tools ever invented and still very, very handy...

Beginning a sentence with “So” undermines your credibility.

So?

Yeah, we've all tasted rejection...

We know a lot about life in the universe (provided you define the terms ‘life’ and ‘in the universe’ in the ways we know a lot about).

My oldest and most favorite cartoon...

(religion in a nutshell)

Parental monitoring of children's screen time is associated with improved sleep, improved school performance, less aggression, and lower BMI in children in grades 3-5.

("is associated with" means nothing. It could be .00000001 percent of difference. Research is why they invented numbers.....use them!)

 With legs made out of Crusader's shields?

This is why we watch sports....

He's safe.

I hate prison showers.

How very, very true.

A true warrior feels fear and says fuck it.

Two OOMVO's....

One of my favorite gags is to walk up to a group of young people and say, "Kids these days. When I was your age I was already committing felonies."
They find that very amusing.

Lead, uranium and cocaine are also gluten-free.

From TV...

 (My question is, who the fuck counts each image?)

????

He must have been about my age when he wrote this...

What stupid, stupid advice...

 What about the neo-Nazi racist murderers?

I had a lot of fun making these...

I now wish I had written "...bloody cheeky."

I just hope you are looking at this image on a screen large enough to really enjoy it...

Is there such a thing as a literal metaphor?

If you are not a parent, then you don't know what a wonderful invention this is...

(that was a joke)

Would be interested in knowing if any of you have an opinion as to why women are much more religious than men, even though every religion seems to hold women in such distain...

OEDIPUS COMPLEX: Kid tested, mother approved.

I hate it when this happens...

Chocolate that you sharpen to make little flakes...

Who thinks up this shit? 

I have no idea what this is supposed to mean...if anything...

Oh, look! Somebody wants a raise...

That was the most sexist thing I've ever posted.

I will bet real money that her name ends with an "i"....

 ...with a heart atop the i.

My wife has never met a stranger. Today she struck up a conversation with a young woman at a bar and at one point during a discussion that matters not, the woman suggested to me, "Why don't you just run over to..."
Before she could finish, I held up my cane and yelled, "Now you are just being cruel!"
After a very pregnant pause, good time was had by all.

Chemistry – Rule #1: Don’t lick the spoon.

Maybe yes....maybe no.

Today I went to that bar that owes me a $500 bar tab to get BBQ and a few beers. When the owner was ringing up my total I asked him if he remembered that scene in Chevy Chase's Christmas Vacation where his brother-in-law, Eddie, and Clark are in the Walmart and Clark tells Eddie that he will buy the gifts for his family and Eddie says, "Thanks, and get something nice for yourself, Clark, you deserve it."? After the bar owner nodded that he did, in fact, remember the scene, I pointed toward the register and said, "Put something nice on that bill for yourself, Marty, you deserve it."
And a good time was had by all.
(PS: I wrote that in a real hurry and realize that it might not make sense to anyone who wasn't there. Now I have no time to fix it....sorry)

This is very close to tool making...

But if you think about it, that badger is doing exactly what every zoo animal wants to do.

A dear friend, the widow of one of my best friends, used a Southern term that not even I had ever heard:
"She had a twitch in her alltogether."
I like it. It really doesn't matter if you really understand it, you know exactly what she means.