MONDAY #2031

This thing landed without a front landing gear...

Russian keeper with laser in the eyes...

This is what a young boy's face ought to look like. He is my great-nephew and he is a fine human being...

This is he and his dad...

From his email:

"Our hands are showing 1 - 1 - 0, for 110 miles complete.  110 miles, 7 days, using 1 canoe, 1 father and 1 son.  Oh, and camp gear, bad jokes and other manly noises."

Tried to look this up but found nothing. Too bad. I find it fascinating...

Talking on phone in a bathroom stall. Don't do it. Please.

Sometimes you just have to trust your own madness.

Almost didn't post this because it's just so distasteful.

When my grandmother was 80 or so years old, she was having some vaginal "problems" and the doctor suggested that she just have it sewn up. She would have nothing to do with that, stating, "You just never know."

Someone failed to grasp the concept.

The International Space Station is 357.5 feet (119.167 yards) long—a hair under the length of a football field, including end zones.

How I long to run across one of these...

In my youth I would have attempted this, but now, not so much.

At first glance I thought it was one of those stick-on murals...

 Then I figured it was photoshopped due to lack of shadows of the buttresses...

Want to get really turned off by soccer? Just pretend that those faces they make while writhing are their sex faces. Yeah, I watch a lot of porn.

Nestle has to recall thousands of "Chocolate Peanut Butter Ice Cream" cartons because it doesn't say it contains peanut butter on the back.

Would you quit your job for $25,000? Riot Games, the maker of the popular video game League of Legends — will pay its employees 10 percent of their salary, up to $25,000, to quit their jobs, even if they have worked there for only one day. Other employers are offering a similar deal, including Zappos, which will give employees $2,000 if they want to leave, and Amazon, which is offering $3,000 to workers in its warehouses, and up to $5,000 for more experienced employees. Are they crazy? No. These companies are doing something smart. They're using basic economic incentives to make sure that they only employ people who are enthusiastic about their work. This is an economic filter to foster job excellence.

Have I got a deal for you...

One Of My Very Own...

Saw a photo-essay of unusual clubs, this being my favorite...

Her name doomed her from the start...

If you see a driver who comes to a four way stop sign that has a clear view in all directions and this driver comes to a complete stop, said driver is drunk.

Some chapters more interesting than others.

Semen used as invisible ink during WWI.

(and to work properly, it had to be fresh for each message...TRUE)

I try very hard to be that person. I really do.

And I bet her mother was proud.

This is worth the read... 

(Go back and read the part about the dog washing)

Cause no interesting story begins with "I was eating a salad one time"...

In Germany, mini-drones are flown over fields before harvest to locate newborn fawns, so that they won't be killed by harvesters, which is "traumatic for the farmers and machine operators involved and, furthermore, polluted the cut grass, which was used as livestock feed, with shredded deer remains."

WHEN THINGS GO SOUTH

Skynet wins again...

A QUOTE: In our neighbors’ driveways, in their living rooms, in their backyards, I saw the evidence of prosperity distributed equally among the social classes: speedboats, Corvette Stingrays, waterbeds, snowmobiles, motorcycles, hunting rifles, RVs, CB radios. I’ve always believed that the ’70s are remembered as the Decade That Taste Forgot because they were a time when people without culture or education had the money to not only indulge their passions, but flaunt them in front of the entire nation. It was an era, to use the title of a 1975 sociological study of a Wisconsin tavern, of blue-collar aristocrats. That all began to change in the 1980s.

Higher than an elephant's eye...

A gamekeeper returning to work after a long absence..

Shit you don't see every day...

I watched this very strange movie many years ago...

If you insist on always using "data" as a plural noun (based on its Latin origin), what do you do with "agenda"?

You know how I love shadows...

"More than 100 people have now reported they got sick with suspected food poisoning at a national Food Safety Summit held earlier this month in Baltimore."

The best advice you will ever receive...

Man gets stuck in vagina sculpture... 

 Speaking of...

"The Lorain County Correctional Institution acknowledged Friday that pirated movies are being shown to prisoners there, even as inmates serve time for illegally downloading movies."

We need a National Awareness Awareness Day.