WEDNESDAY #2096

SOMEWHAT TOPICAL...

The internet is having a lot of fun with this story...

I saw the pictures and there nothing I haven't seen every teenage girl in America post a million times. Some are even taken in her bathroom mirror....HER BATHROOM MIRROR!
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Anti-government protesters beat a riot policeman after clashes during the Revolution March in Islamabad September 1, 2014.

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I don't know all there is to know about this, but....

The "fake" towers attack the baseband radio in your phone and use it to hack the OS; they're only visible if you're using one of the customized, paranoid-Android, post-Snowden secure phones, and they're all around US military bases. ESD's Cryptophone 500 spotted 17 of the fake cellular towers on casual drives around the USA, including one at the South Point Casino in Las Vegas. The baseband processor, which controls the phone's radio, is notoriously insecure and vulnerable to over-the-air attacks; it can serve as a back-door to your phone's main OS. The fake "interceptor" towers force your phone to back \\down to an easy-to-break 2G connection, then goes to work.

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Meanwhile in the Gaza Strip...

 And the floors are still shiny.

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One of my bartenders pulled up the menu for the newly opened bacon restaurant. They have a bacon steak. Yes, a 12 oz slab of bacon cooked like a steak.

I will certainly keep you informed.

Last night my wife farted herself awake….then blamed me.

"Because I can."

This thing has 24 cylinders, 1,704 cubic inches, 12 GMC superchargers (blowers), 8 nitrous bottles and it runs! Why build such a beast? “Because I can,” Harrah says. There’s no other reason to take a 24V71 and build an intake manifold that weighs 1,000 pounds and mount eight 6-71 superchargers on top of four others. This is a V24 Detroit Diesel (normally used to power ships) which is two V12 Detroits joined together nose to nose with splined cranks.

This looks like a GREAT idea. I mean that....

Please, somebody try this and let me know if it's as good as I think it would be.

Somebody's grandmother...

The fat one who baked you cookies and talked about Jesus all the time....and smelled of moth balls...and milk of magnesia.

The less one knows about the universe, the easier it is to explain. – Brunschvicg

How in the world could they figure out how to do this...

...and then build it. Look at it again. It's amazing.

I think that is who I think it is...

But don't his little dress thingy fit nice.

Most of us hate double standards unless they benefit them.

What is the most perverted thing you’ve ever done with a dairy product?

Kafka? Speaking of beauty?

Am I the only husband whose wife tells me not to touch anything when we go in a grocery store?

What if it’s pronounced "scone" and not "scone"?

Look carefully. It took me a couple of views...

I'm going to find out if anyone truly loves me...

A person who truly loves me would go on line and buy me one of these.

Here's the website....
http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/1dcf/?cpg=cj&ref=&CJURL=&CJID=4186622
My birthday is September 17th.

Do you think he could really get all those customs people to cooperate like this?

I was on a flight back from Europe and the man in front of us had bought all three seats like the guy below...

But on my flight the armrests kept him for stretching out, so he slept on the floor with his feet sticking out in the aisle. I was amazed that the flight crew allowed that, since everyone had to step over his feet on the way to the bathroom.

At one time I was very good at this game, but I have never seen anything like this...

But that was an own goal.

Now THAT is a weapon...

“I think we need fewer cushions,” said no interior decorator, ever.

 Wife and I went up the Eiffel Tower...

When we were ready to go down we got on the elevator and was soon crammed in like sardines. I ended up facing my wife and began to sing, "Getting to know you; getting to know all about you..." And the crowd, thinking I was totally insane, moved back and gave us a wide birth (berth?).

A photographer took a beautiful woman out for a shoot...

 ...and kept shooting as she dressed...

 Still a striking image.

Even while waiting for it to stop raining she is photogenic...

The story of the Military Policeman and his dog guarding a nuclear weapons facility...

 The weapons are surrounded by a huge earthen berm....

 ...not so much to keep an accidental blast contained, but to minimize the chances that it could be targeted from the outside...

The slope of the berm was perfect for reclining and catching up on your sleep, and that is exactly what an MP did; relying on his dog to awaken him if a supervisor came snooping. Well, that's exactly what happened, and when the supervisor came upon the poor guy asleep on the job, his dog was sound asleep beside him.

Right now, at this very moment, somewhere on earth, there is the exact location where you will die and people are probably just walking over it like normal.

 Nobody milks privilege like the British.

One Of My Very Own...

 That is true.

 Maybe there is a god.

See anything odd about this?

 She is missing her lower limb.

Elephant throws a stick to distract rhino...

Don’t you hate it when a neighbor complains about the loud sex and you’re home alone?

I find photos like this mesmerizing...

Sometimes I make aquatic puns on porpoise.

I don't know exactly how to take that image.

USS Indiana (BB 58), South Dakota Class battleship, 1938.

 I had no idea.

A brother muralist.

This is called "public access"...

It's how poor people go to the beach.

Mickey Mouse gas masks for children...

So at least the kids will be in a good mood when they watch their parents vaporize.

My wife is not the type of person you should put on speaker phone.

The worse thing my wife said to me during sex was, “Hang on…let me change the channel.”

Nice...

The second worse thing my wife said to me during sex was, “I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs.”

And it's all gravity fed.

The third worse thing was, “On second thought, let’s turn the lights off.”

When I was growing up in Birmingham, Alabama, there was a statue of Vulcan atop a mountain...

 Birmingham is one of the very few places on earth with all three ingredients for steel - pig iron, coal and limestone - are found in one area.

Later they added him holding a light. It burned green if there were no traffic fatalities that day and red if there was...

We used to sneak up on that walking platform after closing just for kicks.
 Like the Statue of Liberty, there was a time while raising money that the dismembered statue was strewn around a park and mothers with children would tell them if they got separated they would meet at the toe of Vulcan, since everyone knew where it was...

My own mother did that on more than one occasion when she was but a lassie.

The fourth worse thing was, “That’s my ex’s favorite position, too.” Then I said, “You should really look into Kegel exercises.”

If you’re going to sin, sin big.

 At a happy hour for teachers at the school in which I taught, someone asked me what I did while in the military. I told them I worked on nuclear missiles and one feminist woman said, "You know all weapons are just phallic symbols...missiles, rifles, bullets, spears."

I said, "Well, early on they probably tried throwing tacos at one another but it just didn't hurt."

I present these not because I hate the GOP or love the DEMS, but just to present a point of view to think about.