FRIDAY #2168

I found this most interesting. Perchance to scroll by...

NEWSY BITS...

I'm not saying a get a hard-on every time I see images of this breathtaking feat...

....but I do.
So, what's the lead story?

Philae researcher criticized for wearing 'sexist' shirt during comet landing...

 With the debate about the under-representation of women in science, I think he made a poor PR choice, but he's a big boy and all the women ought to be big girls. I mean, the women aren't naked. They don't have cocks in their mouths. Get the fuck over it.

 Nephew came up with this scenario...

By the way, I heard one scientist talk about the make-up of the comet, and due to its minute gravity it may be like pebbles on a beach...meaning you could literally just stick your hand into it.

 We shall know soon enough, I guess.

***************
Oh, my, a politician lied to us because we are too stupid...

HOW STUPID ARE WE?

A Ipsos-Mori poll puts the USA second-from-the-top in the race to see who's the most ignorant, preceded only by Italians. What untrue things do Americans believe? Basically, that their country is overrun by teenaged mothers (perceived: 24%, actual: 3.1%), murderers (perceived by 70% as rising, in reality down by more than 50% since 1992), unemployed people (perceived: 32%, actual: 6%), and Muslims (perceived: 15%, actual: 1%). Of course, Brits are also incredibly ignorant. As Kottke notes, the fact that the press in both countries is obsessed with welfare, teenaged pregnancies, murders and Muslims, this is probably not that surprising.

Speaking of believing shit...

A hunter in Celje, Slovenia shot and killed a unicorn....

 It has almost certainly a misidentified deer with an antler deformity.

According to a large survey, the number one gripe of young couples is: “They pay more attention to their phone than to me.”

This is in the hallway in a hotel...

 After a few beers, I bet that would mess me up.

How do you Think the Unthinkable? 

With an Ithberg.

 Photography...

Wouldn’t you love it if one of the royal babies went through an Emo phase?

 During World War I, the largest military training ground on Earth was located at Stonehenge...

You want to talk war? I'll talk war...

 But it's not just the US...

 And this next one could be very powerful if you let it...

I asked a vegan if when she looked up recipes does it just say “Lettuce”?

She said, "No," with no emotion whatsoever.

What a wonderful idea...

The richest man the universe has ever known showing off the fact he can jump over a chair...

 ...because he can, that's why.

Wife was out of town. I ate canned pineapple mixed with croutons. Wasn’t bad.

Why birth control exists…

The Mangalitsa pig. A rare breed that has fleece-like hair that resembles sheep...

Elevator prank #1: Look at the person next to you and say, “Do you think anyone could hear screams from in here?”

 This is an early refrigerator...

Neat idea until somebody figured out that people move, and when they do they expect their fridge to fit in the place in the kitchen where the other fridge was.

This person has given up...the lowest rung on the ladder...

Elevator Prank #2: “I hear there are no security cameras in here."

A 1536 portrait of Jane Seymour by Hans Holbein.  

Posted not for the hands, but rather the detail the painter incorporated into the depiction of the fabric…

Elevator Prank #3: “What you’re about to smell…it wasn’t me.”

Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh is the only one in US to offer a major in bagpiping and this is the only professor...

A new study suggests plumage evolved in dinosaurs because its bright coloration facilitated communication and mate selection.

Overprotective parents raise the best liars.

Give that one a minute.

One Of My Very Own...

 (late at night, after a case of beer, I must have thought that was hilarious)....but now that I've thought about it, I want to amend my caption to: What you are about to smell wasn't me.

 I slap her, too. Who is she to piss that nigga off?

Absurdity...

Calling a husband at a bar to tell him to come home can increase their risk of a permanent brain damage. (It wasn’t clear whether it was his or hers.)

I've never understood why people freak out over a fucking hair! I mean there MUST have been countless scabs in you meals that blended it and you just didn't notice...or drops of snot...or......need I go on? And from time to time, the same woman who freaks out over a hair in her salad will suck her dates dick on the ride home.

Just quit the hair phobia...you are embarrassing yourself.

What doesn’t kill you makes you a faster runner.

My man....

My wife leaves me pictures of food instead of a shopping list.

But at least the postman delivers the post. 

I would have said "AT BAY" instead of "AWAY". 

Why birth control should be free...

Who would you think said this?

 Michelle Obama. Think about that -- "regardless of who said what or did this or that."

And that, fellow citizens, is what wrong with this fucking government.

 So, you, Gentle Reader, hate your job?

 Or would you swap jobs with this guy...

And, yes, he's doing exactly what it looks like he's doing.

Sculptor and restorer Carlo Wloch works on a lifesize sculpture of a Trabant 601 car in his workshop in Berlin, November 7, 2014. After 6000 hours of work in 17 years Wloch created the car sculpture out of a huge block of sandstone...

A demonstrator is restrained by riot police during clashes in central Brussels over austerity measures to be taken by the new Belgian government...

BRUSSELS?! FUCKING BRUSSELS!!!!
Now I'm sure the whole world has lost its collective mind.

 This is what is called "Skipping To The Chase"...

Speaking of dick sucking...
Why did everyone think that is a guy in the mask? It could have just been a fat chick and the other guy was really drunk...

 And what happened to this kid in real life? I would have thought that we would have seen more of him...

Marilyn Monroe back when she only gave handjobs to young boys in the back seat of their daddy's car.

Marilyn Monroe after she had fucked every man ever to have had his picture on the front page of the New York Times – her hobby of choice...

I’m a pretty happy guy until I start thinking about things.

No, no you're not. The assumption that we are all special is what has ruined the planet. We are all struggling, uncertain animals trying to understand why these things are going on in our mind. 

You are flawed, just like the rest of us. Get the fuck over it. Flaws are what makes us interesting.

This took me longer to figure to figure out than it should have...

Apparently, adult diapers are worn on the inside.

The different grades of maple syrup...

I had no idea. From clear as a mountain stream to dark as you Uncle Ed's blood laden diarrhea. 

Flawless looping...

It's called teamwork and it's a good thing...

How many times have you discretely put your hand in your pocket to scratch you balls and then realized your hand is not in your pocket.

I will be the first to admit that some wars are necessary, but then there are these "wars of choice" and I believe these are fought to line the pockets of American Corporations.