WEDNESDAY #2173

He's still less terrifying than most Tinder matches.
But I'm glad he's finally settling down and starting another family.

I whisper “what the fuck” to myself at least 20 times a day, and on game day much more often.

Modern life in a nutshell...

Presidents always try to destroy all evidence of their involvement with destroying the evidence.

I consider that one of the funniest things I've ever posted.

Self Cleaning Roads In South Korea...

Another 'up yours North Korea we have clean water to spare' moment from the city of Seoul Highway Department.

Does anything make us feel whole like seeing the driver who cut you off miles before stopped beside you at the next traffic light? And that self-righteous smirk we all get on our faces and them sitting there all hang-dogged.

Now watch the red team celebrating. 

Shit you hear in bars: "I may not be the smartest guy in the room, but he makes me look like I got a 4.0 IQ."

 Of course, the price tag covered up the word "FOR".
I can only assume it was done on purpose by a part-time teenager named Doug.

Swiss Cyclist François Gissy Reaches 207 MPH on a Rocket-Powered Bicycle

Two hundred and fucking seven miles an hour. Jeeez.

I think there are many unexplained things that happen on or near the earth...

And even though I would really like believe that there are visitors from afar, I'm not there yet.

One of those bubbling mud pits...

Never, ever, ask a woman if she’s pregnant unless you see the actual baby being extruded from her vagina. Even then, act surprised.

God I love absurdity.

When you think about it, Africa really drew the short straw when it came to things for which to be famous.

Photography...

What an unusual image.
But I like unusual images.

The elegant way medieval scribes would repair torn pieces of parchment in their books, this example from the 1300s.

Radio Free Albemuth…a Netflix movie I recommend.

(I love the word "hyperbole")

 Live in a big city? Think about what's in your lungs.

Chicago is in Illinois.

Club that Ernest Hemingway used to use to beat drunks at a bar in Key West, still has blood on the end.

Other. Other drunks.

Half-sheared sheep...

You must admit - that thing looks embarrassed.

The best pyrotechnics ever at the Fun Fun Fun Fest in Austin, Texas, three days ago: An actual meteor blazing through the sky...

McDonald's menu in Israel...

Today I heard an argument about whether the Green Bay Packers or the Boston Celtics would win if they played a game of hockey. Arguments like that are common in American bars.

 And he even has his own mug...

After reading that Jenny McCarthy is threatening to sue anyone who says she is pro-vaccines...

You ignorant twat.

I was asked by one of my servers how I knew all the answers on the crossword puzzles I solve at the bar. I said, “My beard is older than you are.”

I just thought it was an odd thing for her to say. 

This Ultra-HD time lapse shows the biggest sunspot in 22 years

Speaking of the solar system...

Size of North America on Jupiter...

Transparent Nearly Invisible Mouse Created By Japanese Scientists

It was never explained why they did such a thing.

Walking Dead:

Why don’t they search the dead Walkers? They could have bullets or lights and shit like that in their pockets.

Why not have a bucket of Walker guts to drape around you in a pinch.

And why aren’t they re-using those brilliant stakes that kept that one black guy alive in that town.
And don't get me started about the brilliance of traveling by boat.

Oh, shit!

Good news – The fifth dentist caved, so now they are all recommending Trident.

Three college students (including my bartender) were discussing Ramen Noodles. One said that she cuts a slice of baloney into little pieces about the size of a fingernail, then sprinkles on chicken rub and lets it cook with the noodles. Then she puts an egg on top and that was her idea of a great meal.

Free Syrian Army fighters fire a "locally-made" shell towards forces loyal to Syria's president Bashar al-Assad located in al-Khalidiya neighborhood, from Bani Zeid neighborhood in Aleppo, 

Homemade munitions...that's why nobody is around when they fired it.

A military veteran checks the sizing of a suit jacket in San Francisco, November 10, 2014. Homeless and low-income veterans received a complete suit and tips on how to look for job and housing interviews, a day before Veteran's Day. 

 One of my wife's stores does exactly the same thing.

Image taken from a passenger plane's window. Notice town near the tip of a peninsula...can't remember where...but does that really matter?

That awesome moment when you find the perfect girl, then PornHub goes down for maintenance.

One Of My Very Own...

 Sotheby's expects the bidding for this "supercomplication" watch to reach $17,000,000. It is the most complicated watch ever made without the aid of a computer.

No one addressed why a person would spend this amount of money on a watch rather than, say, improve the world in some meaningful way.

I never see an image like this without thinking of the poker games we played as teenagers, using bullets as chips....

You hone your skills pretty quickly when you are betting something dear to you.

It’s more like a suggestion than a rule.

"Hey, mom, look what I made in art class!"

I talked to a young man who told me that he was at a rock concert where a right pants leg rolled up meant you had drugs, and a left pants leg rolled up meant you were looking for drugs. That’s rather efficient I’d say.

A few interesting heads...

Everybody is good at what they do. Which, in my case, is nothing.

I think we can all agree, this was a wonderful movie...

A friend in need...

And lastly, this extraordinary clip...

The boy in Syria pretended to be shot to divert the shooter, then rescued his sister by pulling her out of the street.

And now an update that sickens:

I was blown away by the above clip. I was emotionally affected.

Now, this...

  Millions of YouTube viewers (AND ME!) have been captivated by the 'Syrian hero boy' who manages to rescue a little girl while under gunfire. Now a group of Norwegian filmmakers have told BBC Trending they are behind it. They say it was filmed on location in Malta this summer with the intention of being presented as real.

Fuck you Norwegian filmmakers!

 And to think these were just illustrations in a book at one time...