FOLIO OLIO: MONDAY #3489

One Of My Very Own

EMAIL: ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

LANGUAGE THAT MAY REQUIRE SOME THOUGHT

My doctor told me that at my age I should think about putting a bar in my shower.

It is also convenient when I shit myself in a drunken stupor.

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Think about that a moment.

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I haven't bitched about what America has done to TV channels that once were educational.

Who are the dumb fucks who watch that shit? I will be totally honest, I judge you harshly if you admit that you watch it.

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How can you support gay marriage if you are not gay? The same way I can support the Green Bay Packers and can't play football.

THINGS THAT HAPPENED BEFORE MOST OF YOU WERE BORN

Baked Eggs, DAK style

Ingredients:

3 eggs

1 drop of olive oil

1 Panzer II

Guten Appetit.

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Native First Nation school children posing for a picture in Alberta, Canada in 1909. They were not allowed to speak anything but English, nor wear or discuss anything related to their tribes. It was Canada's way of destroying the Native culture, just like the US tried with Native Americans around the same time period.

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An injured student looking tough as hell despite having bruises and cuts on her legs preventing her from walking after clashes with police during the Student Uprising in France in 1968.

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A woman pretends to hold up her friends at the beach in the US in 1947.

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Young men training to be soldiers in Saudi Arabia in 1945.

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When you think about it, that is as big as a bathtub needs to be.

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Russian soldiers in Siberia in 1919.

I saw a documentary about testing the clothing the Soviet soldiers wore vs the Nazi soldiers in a freezer. It was shown that within minutes the Nazi dressed one was shivering, whereas the Soviet troop maintained his core temperature.

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A nude wedding of 2 hippies in Japan in 1970.

It is impossible to pull that off without being first stoned.

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A frankfurter stand in NYC, US in 1892.

I proudly admit that hot dogs are my favorite food.

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A woman shows how she uses plates to stretch out her lips in Equatorial Guinea in 1972.

That presents many questions of practicality. Eating comes to mind as does oral hygiene, but also the grotesqueness of her face when they are removed.

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Now that everyone carries a cell phone camera that can capture events instantly, where have all the UFOs gone?

THE INTERNET: WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR?

The internet's Fuck-Up Hall Of Fame.

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A classic if there ever was one.

And remember she was filming a tutorial.

By the way, I've taught a lot of children, but I don't remember teaching a single autistic girl.

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As far as I can ascertain, that story is true.

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Ghost Crashes

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Think of all the marvelous things we have had the privilege of seeing because of the internet.

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Today I noticed that the ironing board cover was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word irony.

GADGETS AND GIZMOS

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I wonder how and/or who aims that thing.

That looks so very efficient.

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I bet they squashed that real quick.

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My father bought me a Remington 12 gauge Skeet Gun and it turned out that I was the world's worst skeet shooter. I never got one, out of dozens of attempts.

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I've own several pick-ups this old or older.

The first thing you notice is the size of the steering wheel. It's like holding a garbage can lid.

That bench seat may not look comfortable, but it's almost as big as a twin bed plus that slant keeps fornicating couples from sliding off onto the floorboard. And cum wipes right off of it with the hem of her skirt.

Then there is the motor compartment.