About Me

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I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Tuesday, July 17, 2018

TUESDAY #3490

One Of My Very Own

EMAIL: ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

NEWSY BITS

Let us remember this magnificent defensive play until 2022.
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Well, I guess the guy deserved to die for something like that.
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This is fake...


This is not fake.
 All because the diver said that Elon's rescue idea was stupid.
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The Onion
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You have to wonder what Putin has on Trump. And it's much more serious than tapes of Russian whore peeing on him. 
Write this down: "The press is the enemy of the people."
That, Gentle Reader, is terrifying. 




PEOPLE WHO AREN'T AT ALL LIKE YOU AND ME

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A Russian viewer sent me that with this message:
"I don't find the writing itself very smart or funny, but just in case - it says in Russian 'The captain goes down with the ship'. But I like the photo."
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That one in the middle is "A Tale of Two Titties."
*MNBT
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Cause why the fuck not, that's why.
Is the passenger past out or jacking off?
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Think you have a clingy girlfriend?
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I would pay good money to watch her do that naked.
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If you EVER drink this much, you drink too much.
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I have a theory that you can't do stuff like that unless you were happy to start with.
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Yep, that would be me.
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What the fuck is this guy doing?
Do you think it's a water hose?
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The picture on the left is the result of catching a cat in a panorama shot and has been on the internet for a while. Guy turned it into a costume.
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I personally feel that Romeo and Juliet many more options that they never explored.

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THE ANIMAL KINGDOM

A mushroom-shaped iceberg mile out to sea had an unwitting fox stranded atop it, and a fishing boat crew managed to coax it aboard and on to safety. Come to find out, those type icebergs are very common.
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Women helping an alligator cross the street in Orlando, Florida.
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Why doesn't it dissolve in the rain?
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I'm not an expert on masturbation but I hold my own.

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ILLUSTRATED LIFE ADVICE FROM SOMEONE WHO CARES ABOUT YOU

Lesson #1: Calmness is overrated.


Heard this line: "Stress is the enemy of calm." Yeah, I guess. But calm doesn't spur creativity, now does it? I've never actually met a calm artist. I've known poets and concert pianists, and none of them were calm either. So let's give the old 'we all need to calm down' bullshit a rest.

And not just artists! How could the insanity happening all around us NOT stress us? I say, "Be normal, stress the fuck out like the rest of us normal people."
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Driving is the most dangerous thing most of us do.
Lesson #2: Pay attention to your driving.
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Lesson #2A: Never overdrive your stopping distance.
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Lesson #3: Extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof.
There is a reason almost all conspiracy theories are just bullshit.
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Lesson #4: Don't believe something just because your parents believed it.
Please appreciate how silly the notion of heaven is to most people on the planet.
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Lesson #5: Know your limitations.
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Lesson #6: When the revolution comes, be on the right side.
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Lesson #7: There is ALWAYS room for fuckups.
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Lesson #8: Never forget that children must be cherished.
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Lesson #9: Learning games are the best games.
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"Sir, you dropped your sandwich."
Lesson #10: Help one another.
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Lesson #11: Situational awareness can save your life.
Look around every once in a while.
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Lesson #12: There should be no place in your life for racism.
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Lesson #13: Don't be cruel...
Unless it's a joke.
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Lesson #14: Don't lower yourself for fake internet points.
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Oh, that sounds a bit harsh, I better add Haha.

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BASIC BLOG FODDER

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I may have shown you this previously.
The ESO's Very Large Telescope captured the first image of a planet forming in the swirl of space dust surrounding a similarly youthful star. The planet is the blurry yellow blob to the bottom right of center; the black blob in the middle is a blinker used to block direct light from the star, which would otherwise overwhelm the sensor.
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Oh, my.
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I do not understand this, please help me.
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When my wife replied to a group of friends, ‘That’s what she said!’ as I stood right beside them.
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This car has a dust and pollen filter.
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What happens when a random insurgent takes a sniper shot at an Apache Helicopter.
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[ TIEBREAKER ]

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*MNBT = *Might Not Be True

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