SUNDAY #3481

One Of My Very Own

EMAIL: ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

NEWSY BITS

THE EASIEST MAN IN THE WORLD TO HATE RIGHT NOW

Sorry Neymar, maybe if you paid more attention to scoring than diving you would have won.

Ding Dong the witch is dead!

What I don't understand is the role of his agent or image consultant. You know his shoe endorsements and other TV commercials make him a fortune, but right now he is the laughing stock of the world. Seriously, grown men just don't act like that. Joe Theismann broke his leg...in half...with a bone sticking out, and he waved at the crowd as he was carted off. And fucking Neymar acts like a snake bit little girl ten times a game.

But I think you will agree that if you took that crybaby out of the equation FIFA has curtailed most of the "whine time"...or as the TV people call it; Simulation time.

In other World Cup news...

I had money on Sweden because I drew it in a large gambling pool. But in the same pool, I still have Belgium afloat, so I'm still hopeful.

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The 10 and 2 o'clock format is perfect for my lifestyle. I usually wake up about 8:30 or 9am and I'm always at my bar by 2pm. It was like they knew. I feel blessed and I haven't missed a minute of a single game.

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MY FAVORITE BARTENDER OF ALL TIME IS MOVING ON

She broke the news to me tonight by showing me the email she sent the bar owner. After a while, I called her over, leaned in close and said, "I want to leave you with one piece of advice and every time you think of me I want you to think of it. Don't ever use that font again."

Then she asked me to father her child and I had to decline because, you know, I'm busy.

*MNBT (but just that last part)

FUN FACTS I BET YOU DIDN'T KNOW

All it has is a frozen gallon jug of water in it. I'm thinking we can make one ourselves. I don't really see the purpose for the little white pipes, just holes would do the exact same thing.

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For many generations, residents of a village in Africa have been living in harmony with more than a hundred ferocious West African crocodiles that live in the village pond, the same pond where children swim and bath and the womenfolk fetch water from.
I'm assuming they feed them regularly.

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14% of all major cities is parking lots.

I found that stat amazing. I was looking around for a comparison, then I realized that about 14% of our personal real property is taken up with driveway, parking area and/or garage.

But here we have something you would never see in the US.

The first day Americans tried to master this lunacy, four people would be shot in road rage incidences.

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EURYPTERIDS

These animals are commonly called sea scorpions even though they’re more closely related to horseshoe crabs. They ruled the sea floor for over 200 million years.

Many had disturbingly keen eyesight and a number of accessories such as claws and spikes, which made them successful hunters.

Never heard of it.

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I've discussed my confusion over this previously.

Why did they think the excessive weight on the muzzle end was necessary?

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There Is A Volcanically Formed Island In Iceland That Nobody Can Enter And It Didn’t Exist Until 1963

The land is used for scientific research and observations. The focus of the work is to better understand how an ecosystem forms from scratch, without any human impact. There are only a couple of scientists that are allowed on the island’s premises, making it one of a few forbidden places on earth.

Before entering this island, every scientist is carefully checked so they won’t carry any foreign seeds in on themselves.

Then a tomato starting growing on the island’s premises, leaving scientists stumped. Turns out somebody disobeyed the island’s laws and pooped on some lava.

Fulmar and guillemot were the first species to inhabit the island, and with them can the grasses and flowers.

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How clever.

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Don't swipe right, it's your cousin.

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SMILE ENSUES

(but maybe it's just me)

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Thought there was nothing funny about the toilet?

Try these two.

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What I mean when I say I'm outdoorsy.

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Finally found a picture of my pre-wife girlfriend.

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And this is my wife and I on our first date.

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Dog sneaks in to forbidden baby's room.

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Onion has started it's own social network.

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A loyal viewer sent me that, and I really appreciate it.

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Yeah, we would all be the best if we were wealthy princes.

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Are you happy to see me or is that just a snake in your hand?

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And I’ll leave you with these:

You're welcome.

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Do swipe right, it's your hot cousin.

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SHIT YOU DON'T SEE EVERY DAMN DAY

Do you think he lands in foam rubber or some such shit?

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Let's take another look at this.

I wonder if there is a way to make some flip book like moving images out of that technique.

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Here's the way I would make that. I would make a pile of raw brick separated by thin Styrofoam sheeting. Then I would carve it in that shape then put it in the kiln. Bricks bake, Styrofoam vaporizes, then I just mortar what's left together.

Price tag: $462 Billion.

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That way you only have to do half of the cutting.

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What would Jesus do? 

Die at age 33.

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FAMOUS PAINTINGS INVADE MODERN SETTINGS

There were many more of these. I picked my favorites.

What is that structure?

I find that one especially interesting. Note the fish in graffiti. A spark of talent amongst the trash.

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You can't believe it's not butter? Buddy, almost everything in the universe is not butter.

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DISCUSSION PROMPTERS

Cheeky motherfucker ain't he?

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That's what happens when you think just like your parents do...society doesn't evolve out of its bad habits.

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Most Indian love songs are men singing about how fair skinned the girl is. And like a lot of other dark-skinned nations, skin bleaching is a billion dollar industry, even though its a serious and widespread health risk.

I've read that the lighter the skin of black people in America the higher the status. What's up with that?

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How refreshingly natural.

In America, it seems that ANYTHING natural is ugly and/or evil and must be eradicated. Real women resist this.

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When driving with my non-dominant hand, the lives of my passengers are held by something that can't even write my name.

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WHITE TRASH: An Illustrated Tutorial

They did the Meth, they did the monster Meth!

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Nothing says classy wedding like cowboy boots, flip-flops, and a Confederate flag.

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She likes going to Dollar Tree caused you don't have to dress up like when she goes to Walmart.

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And my favorite...

As a son of the South myself, I can attest to the trueness of every one of those images.

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Got a new bottle of shampoo and now I'm using what's left in the old one with the reckless abandon of someone in a much higher tax bracket.

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Ann Cryer, the former British Labour MP, suffered abuse for trying to highlight the problems. "It's a public health issue and we deal with public health issues by raising awareness, by talking about subjects such as obesity, such as drug addiction, such as alcohol," she said.

Then, in conclusion, there was this: Cousin marriages are legal in the UK and elsewhere in the world. We could put a stop to it but what would happen to the Royal Family?

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[ PEANUT M&M ]

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