FOLIO OLIO: TUESDAY #3476

One Of My Very Own

EMAIL: ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

NEWSY BITS

With many of the great powers gone...

Including arguably the greatest players...

That opens the door for this overly dramatic cry baby to win the best player.

I'm not saying he's not a great player, but I just hate for kids all over the world to mimic his bullshit behavior. It just embarrassing.

And your question is?

=N=

Let's all keep this in mind.

I had a friend who took for months before thunder could occur in the night and he wouldn't dive for the floor.

==N==

And could somebody explain to me why the US spies would leak to you, me and the rest of the world ANYTHING?!! I refer to announcing that Trump was wrong and NK IS STILL EXPANDING their nuclear capacity? This is nuts!
Please, I need help with this one.

YOU KNOW HOW STUPID THE AVERAGE PERSON IS?

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LEROY JENKINS!!!

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Grown in a laboratory?

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When pilots land with the brakes on.

That's scary as shit.

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How fucking weird would it be if babies cried while they were still in the womb, and women walking around with this muffled screaming coming from inside her body?

Anybody know why that's funny? I don't.

THINGS YOU MAY NOT KNOW

Now imagine the weight of that cloud before it released its load.

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Just a toy?

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I'm thinking the limitation of its reaction depends on the amount of traction in the wheels.

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Want to guess who this is.

Dolly Parton

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Those could come in handy with lashing down a load on your truck.

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Yes, this is a real competition.

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If they can do that for cows, why not race horses?

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You think it was diving for a rodent under the snow or it just fucked up?

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Fetuses actually do cry in the womb. They can't make noise because their lungs are full of fluid.

DADS BEING DADS

I wonder why Bill doesn't use his wealth to go to Mars or build high-speed commuter tunnels? Oh, I get the charity, but he's still got more leftover money than Musk.

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I'm assuming they are both looking in a mirror.

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I made the All-star team every year I played Little League Baseball and my dad never attended a single game.

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What's a fetus got to cry about? Umbilical cord taxes? Come on out of your cushy baby cave and join the real fucking world for a change. That'll give you something to cry about.

SORT OF FUNNY STUFF

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Dogs never lie about love.

SUBJECTS I WOULD LIKE TO BROACH

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Long been troubled about why masturbation is such a taboo subject if we all do it - or did it.

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Even though I'm not a fan of excessive gaming, I'm of the opinion that you can get addicted to anything.

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Guy Painted His Father on His Deathbed.

No, no, no, no. I don't even want anyone to see me on my deathbed much less have images of it...including photos. I would much rather be remembered being young enough to make people laugh....and/or orgasm.

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In this day and age, I find formal wedding a complete and total waste on many levels.

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That, Gentle Reader, is called shooting one's self in the foot. Even a supporter of the cause finds shit like that repulsive.

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MEMORIES

A guy told me that he knew a bar owner who warned people not to do drugs inside his place, but they still did them. So he sprayed Pam on all the flat surfaces of the bathroom. Problem solved.

One of my bartenders told me that she was at a gettogether and a woman told her she knew how to get rid of the wrinkles around her eyes. She suggested Botox and when asked how much it was she replied, "Just $10 a unit." On the day she scheduled the treatment she called the woman to asked the traditional tip money required and how much money she should bring. She was told that since she would require about 24 units she needed to bring about $290 or so. She canceled immediately.

AT&T pulled that same shit on my wife and I, telling use their rate was only $X a month. We sign up and found out it was $X for A month, then it doubled. We switched back to Time Warner.

I heard a guy in a bar describe something good dropping in his life unexpected as: "Like mango from heaven."

Don't wait until you retire to do all that shit you've always wanted to do. You will be too tired. Trust me.

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My bartender slid a guy his card, receipt, and pen to sign the receipt. He grabbed the pen, jerked off the cap, said "At least you could have taken the cap off for me!", then threw the pen across the bar.
That is a very sad man.
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Quantum Entanglement: Sometimes two photons decay into two infrared photons that are entangled, or the two particles behave as one no matter how far apart they are.

Is that right or was somebody bullshitifying me?

[verification needed]

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Funny guys are dangerous. They will make you laugh and laugh, and then, boom, you are naked.