One Of My Very Own
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EMAIL: ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com
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SILLINESS EVERWHERE
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Why do men always think testicular trauma is hilarious?
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All things Ralph...
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Which dildo would you like?
The red one over there.
That's the fire extinguisher, ma'am.
I'll take two...with a couple of extra nozzle things in case I'm feeling freaky.
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When the flash goes off...
Not only a guy giving head to another guy, but dogs having a threesome...and orbs.
[ RH: That image is as old as the internet. ]
[ RH: That image is as old as the internet. ]
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Kids playing with a fire hose during a tour of Coast Guard ship.
*MNBT
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A fun prank to pull on a passed out vegan.
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Ran across this again...
Did you catch it?
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THE INVENTOR OF CRYING: What if I told you that there was something you could do at both weddings and funerals?
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ON A SERIOUS NOTE
Marine Eraville had a heart transplant at 2 years old, and could therefore not be vaccinated. She died of measles at age 16. The anti-vax movement keeps growing, while tragedies like this keep happening.
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You should tip per drink, and tip well on your first drink. Bartenders will remember your face and even in a crowded bar, we will go to you almost immediately.
At open bars at weddings and such, I'm the guy who asks for a tip jar even if they are not allowed, then I chum it up with a twenty. I then walk up to the side of the bar and get discretely served before anyone in line.
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This is Sparta, motherfucker!
That one easy way to get abused in the back of a police car.
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In April 1972, Mankind Was Documented As Being The First To Fart On The Moon. True.
Commander John Young suffers from gas after drinking too much OJ on the Apollo 16 mission, goes down in history. Listen to his transmission at the time - very short and very funny.
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That is a very easy company to hate.
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Well, I have told you this story before, but after what Hungry did it needs repeating.
A server at my bar, and friend graduated from USC with a degree in Gender Studies. She got a well-paying job with a huge corporation BEFORE she graduated.
Of course she had other assets going for her...
Anyway, I think all she does is deal with all the federal non-discrimination requirements and shit.
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Girl changes mind about jumping off 60ft bridge gets pushed instead.
She is now in hospital and doctors are monitoring the air in her chest for any complications.
“I’m in a lot of pain without medication, I have five broken ribs, there are air bubbles in my chest,” she reported. “And in the air, I think I might have fainted, but when I hit the water I was definitely awake and aware.”
She is contemplating a lawsuit...justifiably.
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It was stated that this is the non-rape train. Notice the absence of men. Some countries have to separate male and female train departures.
So that is the best solution for solving that problem. How about arresting the rapists? Did anyone mention that as an option?
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Where will you be when the diarrhea strikes?
I wonder how many times that happens...and why?
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Not always. The South Carolina National Guard has been deployed all over the world and I know the man who organizes an entire program that re-teaches each and every one of their returning troops how to be a civilian again. It is reported to be highly effective.
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This makes me feels so good.
Lady lives in a house built in 1507. I detest abandoning building of beauty.
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Listening to a drunk man scream “I have a right to remain silent!” over and over while being arrested will never not be funny.
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ROUND THINGS I JUST LIKE
Remember the smell and taste of coffee in the wilderness?
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How did it learn how to do that?
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I'm not sure the steel rod is necessary.
I mean, it is not even concreted in the ground.
Pussies.
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Wheels move sideways.
Making parallel parking a snap, but there must be some huge downside.
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Improvise. Adapt. Overcome.
Let's discuss the homeowner's decision to have a grass-covered lawn the size of a small town. That's fucking insane. Is he anticipating a couple of hundred simultaneous soccer games? Anybody out there with a huge lawn care to explain that to me?
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Asians.
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All you men should want a woman to look at you the way she's looking at that cereal.
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*Hangman*
Child: 3
Me: It has to be a letter
Child: 9
Me: Looks at wife…Are we cousins?
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YES, QUESTIONS
So, was that dog just following the car, waiting for someone to get out of the car?
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How do you find out that that is your absolute limit? Do you crash into the hedge a few times first and then measure it?
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Okay, that's cool, but where the hell are they? It sort of looks like a theater.
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My job is made much more complicated by MPEG-4s. When I come across one I want to post, I have to spend several minutes converting it to GIF, which is the only format my Google blog host accepts.
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That flat Earth thing doesn't surprise me at all. The bible has a lot to say along these lines:
Tremble before him, all the earth! The world is firmly established; it cannot be moved.
And remember, at the time the bible was written, the entire world was ignorant of the roundness of the earth, but one doesn't expect god to make the same mistake.
But you keep teaching your children that they are guilty of some long-ago transgression of eating an apple and that they, your children, should feel ashamed.
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First Lines
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Not to be outdone, Christians are going to have weird horsemen and multi-headed dragons. Woooooo!
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SLOPPY SECONDS
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