FRIDAY #3676

One Of My Very Own

 <>

EMAIL: ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

<>


It's almost like somebody out there has decided to punish me. First, it was a complaint about obscenity... 

now it's copyright violations. If that person is you, maybe we can talk out our differences like normal human beings instead of the piece of dog shit you are acting like.

<>

NEWSY BITS

The internet can't get enough of this bullshit.

RH: I don't know what that means, but I thought it a cruel ass thing to dump on that bastard.
However, I commend Trump's decision to pull our troops out of Syria. Now let's work on Iraq and Afghanistan.
<>

 <>

"Enough is enough." The Queen restores absolute monarchy
<>

And more close to home...

My wife has wiped out my stash in the Whether Erin Brunettes Hair Part Will Be Straight of Crooked.
And remember that we take turns opting first and BEFORE there are any clues. Erin sucks at parting hair.
<>

 JUST MORE STUFF TO WORRY ABOUT

SNUFF FLICKS?

I think those were faked for our amusement. 
Were you not amused?

^^1^^

THESE NEXT ONES ARE NOT FAKED

Man robs a dead motorcyclist.

 ^^2^^

Damn!

^^3^^

Who would do such a thing?

 ^^4^^

RH: My wife got a call and her doctor's phone number showed up on caller ID. It was an insurance salesman with an Indian accent.

That shit ought to be illegal.

^^5^^

 ^^6^^

We need to invent a word that is stupider than stupid. 

^^7^^

Wear gloves when using Rogaine.

Could that be true?

^^8^^

There’s a band of feral monkeys running wild in Central Florida that carries a type of herpes lethal to humans. The mischievous simians—who are not shy around people—can transmit deadly disease with just a scratch, nip, or fling of poo. Last year, experts warned that the rhesus macaques are a public health threat and it now seems that the threat is likely to get worse, with a wildlife expert revealing that their population is set to double in the next few years. 

^^9^^

Speaking of...

^^10^^

I wouldn't let my child spend ten minutes with a priest.

I can hear it now: You can't punish them all for the acts of a few.

Well, one man poisoned a bottle of Tylonal and nobody would buy it for a long time. Only after tamperproof lids did any over the counter do very well.

^^11^^

Guy just walked in and sat down in a theater...

^^12^^

Bird Box challenge is a thing now.

You walk around blindfolded and try to perform everyday acts. Netflix has even issued warning against doing such a thing.

Why isn't there A Quiet Place challenge where everybody just shuts the fuck up?

Don't confuse Bird Box with Birdcage.

God only knows what the Birdcage Challenge would be like.

^^13^^

<>

The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason, he wants a woman, as the most dangerous plaything.

<>

<>

SHIT YOU DON'T SEE EVERY DAMN DAY

What do you think is going to happen?

I can almost guarantee you that you are wrong.

^^14^^

I guess she was told to wash out her cabinets...

She ain't from around here.
Or maybe she's just pissed.

^^15^^

 Do you suppose they built that road just for that truck?

^^16^^

Oh, look, a giant nope rope...

In the fog no less, just to make it more terrifying. 
^^17^^

Chicago, where it's so cold, they light the tracks on fire to keep the switches from freezing.

^^18^^

 I withhold comment.

^^19^^

When these stones were discovered and the surrounding islanders were asked how the stones got there, the islanders said they walked there. One man theorized they meant this:

 The way the ropes hide the eyes it looks like a condemned man being walked to the gallows.

^^20^^

Probably smoked.

^^21^^

Could somebody explain to me the dynamics of that?

^^22^^

A giant dolphin was found on Jupiter's surface!

The "Dolphin" spotted on Jupiter by NASA's Juno spacecraft during a flyby conducted on 29th October 2018.

Or so I was told.

^^23^^

The right tool for the right job.

^^24^^

<>

“The greatest masterpiece in literature is only a dictionary out of order.”

<>

<>

 FUN WITH LANGAUGE

Even Bible scholars disagree on what the book says and means. The average person has no hope at true meaning.

^^25^^

A friend of mine once had a salesman job at a cardboard box company. A client bought 10,000 boxes and my friend wrote it up as 100,000. Needless to say the purchaser good a great deal on the extra 90,000. 

^^26^^

"Clean up on aisle 15."

^^27^^

 ^^28^^

Hahahahahahahaha!

You gotta love stupid people!

^^29^^

 ^^30^^

Is that what they call a Lame Duck Congress?

^^31^^

Yeah, I know I misspelled LANGAUGE. 

It's called FUN with it for a reason.

<>

Panic sets in, but apathy wins the day.

<>

<>

GOOD IDEAS AND SUCH

I saw this in the movie Hell or High Water, which I like.

 I just thought it would be cool to grow all the herbs necessary in the restaurant in those dividers.

^^32^^

 "Put me in the game, coach!"

^^33^^

At a Maryland seafood restaurant...

 ^^34^^

 It's easy when you know what you are doing.

^^35^^

BRIANA DANYELE

A friend of mine. She's a designer and this is one of her T-shirts. 

 She used to design Barbie dolls for Mattel.

^^36^^

 With all the moons

 ^^37^^

Two children in my neighborhood.

Now they are best friends.

 That is the only way to work our way out of the hate.

^^38^^

 <>

 <>

 Life Satisfaction Index

<>

 <>

 <>

 <>

 <>

 <>

 I knew a man with the exact same personality and he, too, was intolerable. We used to say of my acquaintance that he would rather lie than tell the truth.

<>

 <>

 <>