One Of My Very Own
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EMAIL:
ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com
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As most of you know, each night my wife and I gamble on Erin Burnette's part being crooked or straight, and whether she will show cleavage.
Well, my bartender has an app on his phone that will turn any photo of a man into a woman. This is how it translated his selfie.
I thought he looked just like Erin Burnette...except for the hairy chest.
As most of you know, each night my wife and I gamble on Erin Burnette's part being crooked or straight, and whether she will show cleavage.
Well, my bartender has an app on his phone that will turn any photo of a man into a woman. This is how it translated his selfie.
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MISTAKES WERE MADE
4500lb great white shark- choked to death on a sea turtle.
Child Drops Sparkler down a Manhole
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Imagine having your shit together enough to actually take things out of the freezer early enough that they have time to defrost.
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AMERICA: WARTS AND ALL
We take great pride in being known as the CAN-DO NATION.
I like to think of our landing on the moon as an accomplishment for mankind - not just America. There were Americans from all over the globe working in the space program and if there is one thing America can take great pride in, it is the immigrants that we welcome with open arms.
Hell, we even welcome former enemies...if they can give us something we want.
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Our elected officials are a joke.
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Today in 2011, Osama bin Laden was killed by U.S. Special Forces.
Further, we panic at anything that can't be easily explained.
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Our leaders seem to learn nothing from the past.
And stupid drug laws are one of the main reasons we have more of our people in jail and prison than any other first world country.
We not only eat a lot, but we also eat some really bad things.
The gap between the super-rich and the rest of us is embarrassingly wide, yet the average person just doesn't care.
This country's philosophy goes something like this:
There are two types of people in America: Millionaires and those who are not millionaires yet.
But there is ample evidence that the average American is getting screwed at every opportunity.
This is Yusuf Zhao. She bragged on a video she got into Stanford on her hard work and good grades.
She actually got in because her parents paid $6.5 million in bribes. So much for a level playing field.
We give stupid people much too much power.
I wonder what the animal rights activists have to say about my alma mater's mascot - The Fighting Gamecocks.
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Let's never forget that there are Americans like this man.
Sadly, the average American is woefully lacking in knowledge of history. But we all know that story.
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I can raise kids just fine, but keeping plants alive that only need to be watered once a month is apparently out of my reach.
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CAPTIONS MAKE IT ALL BETTER
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Remember folks, the more you decorate for the holidays, the more flammable your house & property becomes.
ITEMS THAT MADE ME SMILE
“Just wobble around a bit. No, no, trust me. It’ll look good.”
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In an alternative universe far, far away...
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The full recap of tonight’s events can be heard on my wife’s Facebook entry, “What kind of idiot doesn’t cover the chili before microwaving it?”
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IT'S NEWS TO ME
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The power of eartquakes
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Waiter: Don’t touch the plate, it’s extremely hot.
Me: Ok.
My Brain: We are 100% going to touch that plate.
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OBJECTS OF INTEREST
Products you can actually purchase.
Mesmerizing.
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I'm going to retell a story because...well, I can.
Had I been her age I would have brought back the whole fucking dumpster for that much money.
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That zany bastard!
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1 comment:
^^30^^ - Not sure where they got their information from for the map of dates for independence, but 1931 isn't even close to correct for Canada. The official date is 1867, and the date at which foreign policy ceased to follow that of the UK was 1921.
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