THURSDAY #3892

One Of My Very Own

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EMAIL: 

ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

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IN DESPERATE NEED OF CONTEXT

I've stumbled upon several images that beg for a backstory. Any help you can give the viewing public would be greatly appreciated.

A Monk and Ron Jeremy. Explain that.

 ^^A1^^

 "I had an old mailbox, so I put it in the woods with a dollar and a note that says "Ya haha! You found me!""
That guy is kind of a soulmate. I do shit like that all the time.
^^A2^^

???? 
^^A3^^

Operation Dessert Storm?

Meal Team Six?
^^A4^^

 Oh fuck me, first, they make tools and weapons... now they're training cavalry.

Could be.
^^A5^^

Okay. 
^^A6^^

So you just forgot or what? 
^^A7^^

 
He needed a hole in the Jack Daniel's box.
^^A8^^

^^A9^^

Some public art needs a backstory.

My jury is still out on such art.
^^A10^^

 Which came first? Don't you want to know?!

 ^^A11^^

 ????
^^A12^^

????
^^A13^^

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 Tattoo artist: So you want a pair of scissors. Are you a hairstylist? 

Me: No, I just hate running.

(I have no idea why that is clever. Anybody?)

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(I have no idea why that is clever. Anybody?)
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THINGS TURNING TO SHIT

What Happens Next?

 A. She exfoliates her face. 
B. She runs over a child.
C. She hits the ocean with grace and skill.
D. You don't know because you were staring at the shoe in the foreground the whole time.
E. I don't know because I was looking for a holy moly.
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A.

 ^^B1^^

 ^^B2^^

 ^^B3^^

As I recall I wanted to share that with you months ago, but it was too large to upload.
Anyway, I think they fell into the septic tank. Anybody got a better explanation?
^^B4^^

What kind of superpower is this?

^^B5^^

When you get fed up with your barber talking instead of cutting.

 https://i.imgur.com/80UKMkv.mp4
I feel this way every fucking time I get my yearly haircut.
^^B6^^

[verification needed]
^^B7^^


That's going to leave a mark.
^^B8^^


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Me: I really shouldn’t be eating 7-11 hot dogs every day.

Doctor: Okay that’s weirdly specific but yes, maybe try to get it down under 6.

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SOCIAL ISSUES

14 years together, 10 years married, 12-year-old dog.

Are you STILL one of those people who let homosexual relationships upset you. Well, fuck you. You are maladjusted and need therapy.  
^^C1^^

And do heavily inked people still repulse you? 

You need to get a tattoo and observe for yourself that it is not some sort of satanic ploy. 
^^C2^^

Are you as tired as I am with people in authority speaking utter nonsense?

Is this our new national motto?

 ^^C3^^

What you "think" is not equal to what has been proven.

Then there is this guy...

*MNBT
^^C4^^

We all have mothers, sisters, nieces, and significant others...

But it wasn't too long ago that they were under attack.

Have you truly gotten over that lunacy?
^^C5^^

I wonder how many people even understand why this is humorous.

^^C6^^

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Kylie Jenner is having a Handmaids Tale themed birthday party and Justin Bieber wants to fight Tom Cruise and boy howdy is that meteor late?

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THINGS I DIDN'T KNOW YESTERDAY

I christen thee USS Billings.

 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/USS_Billings

 ^^D1^^

"The manhole covers in Oklahoma City have minimaps with a white dot to mark your location."
That's what the caption read.

 One commenter wrote:
"No way that's a manhole cover. There's no way to open it. Looks like a marker set into the pavement to me."

Come to find out, he was right.

 ^^D2^^

How to apply stucco like a pro...

 https://i.imgur.com/EdSL3Kh.mp4
That missed spot under the switch really bothers me.

 ^^D3^^

Cleaning an anchor chain.

I never even considered that necessary.
^^D4^^

New Yorker’s Guide to Chicago

Any of you people who live there have an opinion on this? 
^^D5^^

I'll have two...

 Being an egg guy myself, this looks great!
https://i.imgur.com/Qi7L5xZ.mp4
Okay, but how do you get the dough to do that every time?
^^D6^^

I really like rigs like this...

Another guy put the tracks under a boat to allow it to drive on land.

 ^^D7^^

This deadfall reminds me of the time when the Earth had trees but no bacteria to break them down when they died.

 ^^D8^^
 

Brilliant solution to a common problem.

^^D9^^

Express enthusiasm or inquiry respectively at a time when the user was not yet prepared to end the sentence, the “Exclamation Comma” and “Question Comma”. 
^^D10^^

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Genie: I will grant you any wish.

Me: I wish soup was spelled like soop.

Genie: [frowning] No.

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MEMORIES

Helmet Cam

You might want to enlarge that and try to identify the movies. 
^^E1^^

 Good riddance you ugly reminder of human folly.

^^E2^^

^^E3^^

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 It's not always human...

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 Makes about as much sense as the official story.

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