About Me

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I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Tuesday, November 26, 2019

TUESDAY $3988

One Of My Very Own
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EMAIL: 
ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com
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FUN WITH LANGUAGE


 ^^A1^^

And so are these guys...

^^A2^^


I can remember something about that.
^^A3^^


Do you think she just made that up?
^^A4^^


Now THAT'S a hot sauce! 
^^A5^^


Trust him on that one. 
^^A6^^


 ^^A7^^


^^A8^^

Same spelling, but I read each word in the argument differently.

I'm a ca-rib-ian guy.
^^A9^^


^^A10^^

Defragmented Dalmatian puppy. 
^^A11^^



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When people without health insurance get sick they should just make chicken soup with low-grade poultry and hope the antibiotics seep out.

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RELATIONSHIPS

First contact with aliens?
 ^^B1^^


^^B2^^

As a veteran, that is true.
^^B3^^


Fuck that bitch! 
^^B4^^

Watch her face.
A Uighur woman forced to marry a Chinese party official. State-sanctioned sexual slavery.
Go back and watch her face.
[verification needed]

Well, I found something about the Uighur.
^^B5^^

This is what it's like to make a great joke in front of my huge black bartender.

 ^^B6^^

Meanwhile in the city with no internet...
 ^^B7^^


????
^^B8^^

^^B9^^

And all 23 of those men were correct.
^^B10^^

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Have you ever had coffee so strong that for like 4 minutes you have hope?

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ON STUPIDITY

 How the fuck has he managed to stay alive that long.
^^C1^^

 
And shit like that is why you have stewards and stewardesses. 
That just ain't right, Y'all.
^^C2^^


Why would there be a deep hole in the middle of a parking lot?
^^C3^^

Lack of situational awareness at its worse...
^^C4^^

This is the way it's done...

This is how NOT to do it...
^^C5^^


I'm going to lay the fault squarely at the door of the AMA. They should ban all non-vaccinated children from their office. 
It's almost like the AMA is sitting this one out.
^C6^^


 ^^C7^^

Like we all can't see this coming...

Speaking of...

That motherfucker was also waving a cloth. 

^^C8^^


 ^^C9^^



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Depression is a scam invented by Walmart to sell more rotisserie chickens.

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MORE SERIOUS MATTERS


 If you guys notice the news, US Secretary of Commerce Wilbur Ross arrived in Vietnam yesterday to discuss the US plan of the Western "One Belt and One Road". This plan aimed to create the blue zones of the industrial and commercial power of the free world against China. India, Vietnam, possibly Japan are critical in this alliance. Most of the funds come from the US through Japan. It is not surprising that Vietnam has been ramping up the campaign to crackdown Chinese goods, like the 4.2 billion dollars of Aluminium seized from China. Now, it is banning smartphones from China. This could mean banning all Chinese producers from Vietnam in the future. Effectively aiding the US plan to decouple China from the world.
[verification needed]
^^D1^^

^^D2^^

Wildfires in Australia's east coast...

^^D3^^


^^D4^^

Indian Railways is the state-owned railway company of India. It is one of the largest and busiest rail networks in the world, transporting just over six billion passengers and almost 750 million tones of freight annually.

RH: As I've mentioned before, all those people on top of the train have money. There simply aren't enough seats for the people who want to travel. 
The blame is fully placed in the state-owned train company.
^^D5^^

Do you think human beings were meant to live like this?

^^D6^^



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I recently heard a phrase that gave me real pause  - concrete enema.

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PEOPLE WHO KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THEY ARE DOING


The tool reads "Speeddeck". But I have built dozen of decks and the above is NOT how you do it.
^^D1^^

 
I bet she gets a lot of tips.
^^E2^^


A perfect example of elan. 
^^E3^^


Thank you very much. And I mean that.
^^E4^^

 ^^E5^^

So, my therapist asked me to recall what might have led me to alcoholism.
 
 ^^E6^^

On the way to the doctors' office for a checkup along with his emotional support animal.
If anyone on the planet looks like he knows what he's doing, it's that guy.
^^E7^^
 
He knows enough to ask for help. I commend him.
^^E8^^

Stealth Mode Activated
 ^^E9^^


I really, really love sausage. 
^^E10^^


 ^^E11^^

STORYTIME

My first wife got pregnant while I was in graduate school and she was in undergraduate school. We had no insurance.
I went to the head of the Art Department and asked if he knew an OBY-GYN who collected art. The next day he handed me a phone number. I called that number and set up an appointment. The next weekend I took a truckload of my paintings and as instructed I spread them on their huge front lawn. They came out and picked out the dozen or so paintings and I carted them into the mansion.
What I considered one of my very best painting was one of their selections. When I took it in the house the wife wanted it held up on the wall she had planned for it, but it was too wide.
Then she asked me to turn it vertically...this position.



But I KNEW the painting was meant to be horizontal...like this.
I swallowed my pride and allowed her to take possession of my horizontal painting knowing she was going to have it mounted vertically.

Oh, but that's not the end of the story. Today my wife got an email from a man she did not know. He said that he was disposing of the possessions of a man's home and asked my wife if I had in fact painted the piece pictured above.

I immediately contacted him stating that I wanted to purchase it.
I am awaiting his reply.

I want my grandson to own the piece that partially purchased his mother's birth.

And that is a pretty cool fucking story.

^^E12^^
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2 comments:

Anonymous said...

OOMVO: nailed it

Scott James said...

B1 - I remember coming home once, in third grade, so muddy and filthy that my mother made me strip down naked on the front porch. She then hosed me down for a good ten minutes.

I had been lost in the sewer system under Mcguire AFB for 13 hours with my friend, Timmy Vance. An athetic black girl heard our cries for help and saw the sticks we were waving up through the storm drain.

I'll tell you the whole story the next time we see each other.

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