FRIDAY #4061

One Of My Very Own

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EMAIL: 

ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

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Will this come to America?

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Have you read the Mormon Bible? It's a fucking hoot!
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FUN WITH LANGUAGE

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*MNBT  
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 "Gravity and electrostatic force both decrease by the square of the distance between two objects."
RH: I didn't know that. I found it in the site's comment section.
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Fuck China. I think the rest of the world should call him Shithole until he stops the genocide of his own people.  
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Notice segue.
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White dudes will be like "there he is, the man, the myth, the legend!" And it's just Gary the housepainter.

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PEOPLE

If you wonder why they left, check this out.


- No autographs.
- No profiting from work.
- Queen First
This rule applies to you and Kate Middleton! Well, sort of…If one day, you have the honor of having dinner with the Queen, be aware that as soon as she finishes her meal, everyone at the table has to put down the cutlery and stop eating immediately.

- No Mussels Or Oysters
Eating mussels or oysters is a no-no for Kate. The rule exists because of the health issues these foods present if they aren’t stored correctly. This is something the Royals simply cannot risk.
- No Flashy Nail Colors
- No Social Media
- No Public Displays of Affection not even holding hands
- Strict Dress Code - Members of the Royal family are instructed to avoid wearing black during the day, and, of course, nothing provocative.
- She Can’t Vote
- Inside the Royal house, it is prohibited to play Monopoly.

- The Royal Family Can’t Travel On The Same Plane, Boat Or Train

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The New York Post has an interview with the performance artist who calls himself "Capitalist Man." His gimmick is that he carries around a see-through briefcase, which he claims contains $500,000 in hundred-dollar bills, and he's trying to find someone willing to buy it for a million dollars.
The price tag, he says, is "$500,000 for the cash, $500,000 for the concept." Any interested buyer gets to examine the bills before purchase. Capitalist Man says that if someone does buy his briefcase full of money, his profit will go entirely to charity. But so far, he has no takers. 
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The eternal struggle.   
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Mildcore Parkour

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RH: Time kills empathy.   
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People vs Glue

That last one is one of the oldest gags on the internet - truly.
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Do you think that is just to attract tourists because it would be much easier to just walk it across the street?   
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I got this comment recently:

It may have been an ah-ha moment to anon but I really don't think anyone thinks its humor is lost by knowing whether it is in fact factual. You want to help me? Send me a fucking joke!

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So if this is a movie...

It doesn't matter either.  
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We Southerners were all taught that the man always walks closer to the curb. I'm not sure why.   
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This man is fated for greatness.

Here's a little longer version.

Did the truck not see him and simply cut him off or was the cyclist grabbing onto the truck for a free ride?  
^^B12^^

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My wife thinks mansplaining is cute. Sometimes she tells a guy her name and then says...Am I pronouncing that correctly?

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PLACES

 

[verification needed]  

Phrasing: "Whatever villagers served him" sounds like some people were sacrificed for his sustenance.
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Hahahabananaha!   
Fucking South Carolinians!
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Dear Nature, It's not a competition...

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Working for hours to free your transportation BEFORE you go to work.  
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I once bought a house in the oldest section of Columbia, Sc and found hardwood under the linoleum in the kitchen but unlike this photo mine was glued down with thick black adhesive.

I laid out ammonia, bleach, liquid soap, window cleaner, etc, etc to determine which would best dissolve the glue. Come to find out water was far superior to the other options.  
^^C5^^

We should all review images like these from time to time.

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 The occupying powers were disinclined to engage in the book burning that characterized the Nazis but ultimately decided that it was necessary to purge Germany of Nazi ideas and, specifically, literature.
"Local army commanders closed libraries and ordered librarians to halt the circulation of objectionable works, although this effort was haphazard. New guidelines hammered out in June made clear that public libraries were to be brought into line with publishers and booksellers. They required that all forbidden materials be removed from open shelves and placed in secure rooms, available only with the express permission of the military govern­ment. Staff members filled out Fragebogen, detailed questionnaires in­tended to reveal Nazi affiliation or beliefs. Library directors were required to sign a certificate stating, “I fully understand that it is my responsibility to see that the library is completely de-Nazified.” Applications to reopen a library certified that “no ardent Nazi will be employed” and no literature circulated that supported Nazi doctrines, militarism, or discrimination on the basis of race, nationality, creed or political opinion."
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The flashing 12' sign on the bridge warn drivers of impending doom yet they still rip the tops of their trucks off.


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 [about to invent the button] This is going to be so cute.

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THINGS

Meteor

Seeing one of those is the last item remaining on my bucket list.
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That is similar to how we used empty appliance cartons with the ends cut out of them - only we would crawl.  
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Macrame

There were people getting college degrees in macrame when I was in school. They were not well respected by the rest of us.
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When the wheel on my rolling Lazy Boy flattened my printer cable my wife found a replacement from the thousands of cords she has secreted.   
^^D5^^

It allows it to slip onto the unexpanded end of another tube where it can then be soldered. I had no idea this tool existed.   
^^D6^^

The metal fatigue that must be causing.  
^^D7^^

Fungi could very much be with us once we humans settle on the moon and beyond, as NASA researchers investigate the potential of mycelia to help in constructing on the moon and Mars. Right now, traditional habitat designs for Mars are like a turtle — carrying our homes with us on our backs. While this may be a reliable plan, we can harness mycelia to grow these habitats ourselves when we get there.
SOURCE: CLICK HERE

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For a week, the Promethean craftsmen at the Mars Wrigley factory in Waco, Texas labored to create the world's greatest Snickers bar. It measures 12 feet long and is the equivalent of 43,000 regular-sized Snickers bars, thus providing servings for 10 people.
This bar has secured a Guinness World Record. Mars Wrigley created it for a commercial that will air at the next Super Bowl on February 2. 
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Can you spell MAJOR LAWSUIT, boys and girls?
^^D10^^

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Why are ghosts and angels depicted as semi-transparent? Is that what happens when you die they just turn your opacity down?

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FOOD FOR THOUGHT

The Wall Street Journal crunched the numbers on airline delays, cancellations, complaints, and more and arrived at a ranking of the nine biggest US airlines. People who fly a lot will not be surprised to see Delta at the top, American, and United at the bottom, and the smaller discount airlines filling in between.  
1. Delta: ranked the best in on-time arrivals, canceled flights, and involuntary bumping.
2. Alaska: ranked the best in extreme delays.
3. Southwest: ranked the best in two-hour tarmac delays.
4. Allegiant: ranked the best in mishandled baggage.
5. Spirit: ranked the worst in customer complaints.
6. JetBlue: ranked the worst in extreme delays.
7. Frontier: ranked the worst in on-time arrivals.
8. United: ranked second-to-last in two-hour tarmac delays and mishandled baggage.
9. American: ranked the worst in canceled flights, two-hour tarmac delays, mishandled baggage, and involuntary bumping. 
[verification needed]  
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"Recent discoveries suggest that the adoption of agriculture, supposedly our most decisive step toward a better life, was in many ways a catastrophe from which we have never recovered. With agriculture came the gross social and sexual inequality, the disease and despotism, that curse our existence." 

SOURCE: CLICK HERE
  
One of the smartest people I have ever met agrees. She lays all our modern ills at the feet of land ownership which was a direct result of agriculture.

^^E2^^

I know you don't like being preached to...

But with all of the wealth we have...

WHY DO WE ALLOW THE COSTS OF HEALTH CARE AND COLLEGE TUITION TO RUIN THE FUTURE OF OUR CHILDREN?

The rest of the world just doesn't understand.

And apparently neither do Americans who think they will end up paying more if the government set up a Medicare for all.  
If you have great insurance with your job ask HR to show you what you pay for your "free" healthcare? And remember if the government took over then you should get the portion of your insurance that the company contributes.
You will be surprised.

To most people that is the American Dream.

^^E4^^

  
Because Americans don't read.
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NOTE: I'm running dangerously low on dark humor gags. Any help you can send me would be greatly appreciated. 

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 1) https://i.imgur.com/e9IibGE.mp4

2) https://i.imgur.com/j2amFHT.mp4

https://i.imgur.com/czZuaZI.mp4

https://i.imgur.com/BrbekUD.mp4

https://i.imgur.com/0CGnmjF.mp4

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NOTE: I have moved Puzzle Time to the very end so it will next to the comments section. That way you can easily ascertain if has been solved by other viewers.

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