FOLIO OLIO: THURSDAY #4088

One Of My Very Own

I rented the condom I used on the night I lost my virginity.
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EMAIL:

ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

THINGS THAT ARE LIES

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THINGS I WISH WERE LIES BUT AREN'T

Barton makes energy policy.

An administration who thinks vaccines cause autism and windmills cause cancer is managing our response to a pandemic.

SOURCE: CLICK HERE

PONDERABLES

^^A1^^

^^A2^^

^^A3^^

What the rest of the world thinks...

^^A4^^

^^A5^^

But this is my primary concern...

They build artificial islands then claim them as their property.

And then arm them to the teeth.

^^A6^^

Safety first, so remember when you tell some people "go set the world on fire" you must be very clear that you are speaking metaphorically.

ANIMALS

The best way to be greeted home...

Every boy needs a dog.

Every dog needs a boy.

^^B1^^

The resemblance is uncanny...

^^B2^^

Marriage in one easy to understand gif...

^^B3^^

When she's in the mood but he just wants to chill...

How very sad.
^^B4^^

I don’t want to have sex with you, but I don’t want anyone else to either.

- marriage

THINGS I DIDN'T KNOW YESTERDAY

[verification needed]
^^C1^^

"British street artist Banksy is thought to have given a Valentine’s Day gift to his home town of Bristol in western England with the appearance of a new mural showing a small girl with a catapult and a splatter of red flowers."

They call a slingshot a catapult.

^^C2^^

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^^C4^^

The elevators on the World Trade Center tour show a time-lapse of New York’s architectural history.

SOURCE: CLICK HERE

WOW!!
^^C5^^

There is absolutely nothing to stop your dentist from putting small tracking devices in your mouth. How would you know? You wouldn't.

PEOPLE DOING THINGS I CAN'T OR WON'T DO

"Not in a million years."
- Me
^^D1^^

Starts with stone.

Turns it into a disc.

Crude shaping.

Almost done...

Nice.

^^D2^^

^^D3^^

^^D4^^

Dental work found on a 4,000- year old mummy in ancient Egypt.

The had to have hurt.
^^D5^^

Enforcing the quarantine

^^D6^^

*gets on knees and prays*

Please Harry and Meghan on House Hunters International.

THINGS GOING TO SHIT

Newton's First and Third Law...mostly Third...

^^E1^^

^^E2^^

Watch carefully...

The truck was stolen off an impound lot.
^^E3^^

Perfect timings.
It was a manhole cover.

^^E4^^

Wait for it...

**IKIARBISW

^^E5^^

This looks soooo dangerous.

But his safety rope is secured to the ladder AND the wire.

^^E6^^

Future man

And thus the timeline was secured.

Mr. Tappy after the truck has passed by...

^^E7^^

A pirate reminisces:

"Ar, at first, 'twas all fun and games."

*rubs eye patch morosely*

LAST LAUGHS

All things Ralph...

**IKIARBISW
^^F1^^

A journalist goes to Afghanistan for a documentary. In a little village, he saw an old man and asked him to narrate a typical happy story of his village.
The old man smiled and began: "One day, a long time ago, my goat got lost in the mountains. As is our tradition, all the men of the village gathered to drink vodka first and then looked for the goat. When we finally found her, as is our tradition, we all drank some more vodka and all the men in the village each got their turn to mate with the goat. We had so much fun that day!"
The journalist realized that he couldn't publish such a story so he asked the old man if he had another happy story.
The old man smiled again and started all over again: "Once, my neighbor’s wife got lost in the mountains. As per our tradition, all of the village's men gathered to drink vodka and then went to look for her. As is our tradition, when we finally found her, all the men in the village got their turn to mate with the neighbor’s wife. We had great fun that day!"
The journalist couldn't publish that story either and therefore asked: "Don't you have a story that is less happy; something... umm ... sadder?"
The old man's smile faded. His eyes welled up..... In a sad, soft voice he began: "One day I got lost in the mountains....."
^^F2^^

From Ghostbusters II

^^F3^^

^^F4^^

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^^F6^^

When accused of being “two-faced,” Lincoln shot back, “If I really had two faces, do you think I’d hide behind this one?”

^^F7^^

^^F8^^

If you have never been exposed to how rural Southerners speak then you must listen to this man explaining what happened after a car accident. Also, wait for the sheriff to chime in.