FRIDAY #4790

 One Of My Very Own

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EMAIL: ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

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READ ALL ABOUT IT

My new books that I'm rather proud of...

I titled them myself.

It's actually my newest box.

I tried several titles before I settled on those:

Girl With the Dragqueen Tattoo

Gone to Pass Wind

Handjobber's Tale

Charlotte's Webporn

Invisible Manhood

War and Piece

Crime and Pornishment

*If you think of any please send them to me. I'm thinking of making another Book Box.

^^A1^^

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Yeah, but they are cheap(er).

^^A3^^

I'll go first:

Well, thanks for giving me a chance

I already have a lot of experience in that position. I'm looking to move to a position with a bigger challenge.

Thank you so much for coming.

A friend recommended you to me.

When can I start?

^^A4^^

I remember hearing that in the movie and thinking it was very clever.

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My #1 Advisor calls Folio Olio an "Illustrated Discourse". As an example the above illustration. I would never just sit down and write to you about something like that without prodding from the illustrator.

My observations are that you don't want to be lying on your death bed with a mountain of regrets haunting you. Sure, do what you want to do but make sure you have noble goals.

Here's someone else's take...

That only works for just so long.

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My wife told me her biggest nightmare is sitting on a toilet and having a hidden snake attack her vagina...but okay.

^^A12^^

There's a term for that: Passively suicidal. Note how Passively is the adverb. You are suicidal if you feel this way, and should address it.

There is help. 800-273-8255.

BTW: My suicidal bartender checked herself out of the hospital against her doctor's wishes. If the alcohol-induced internal bleeding doesn't get her then organ failure will. And here's the kicker - She was an awful person when she was drunk.

^^A13^^

That's exactly what the Bible teaches. Eve ate the apple and we are stuck with her original sin. But most of the believers I've talked to believe in evolution - rendering the story of Eden just a cute story to keep the flock in line. But without Eden, you don't have original sin - the whole reason Jesus was sent down to Earth.

Oops...plot hole.

^^A14^^

Dear white politicians, Don't go to black churches and tell them how much you hate racism. Go to white churches and tell them.

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*I so do love absurdity.

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PEOPLE

This is a very old photo and it is still getting criticism. Many people erroneously think the kids are ignoring art in a museum so they can check their social media. In fact, the phones have an app that explains everything there is to know about the paintings.

[ and yes, I do see the alteration. ]

^^B1^^

A Himba woman selling bracelets Namibia

My wife and I used to spend every Christmas on a tiny island off the coast of Mexico. One Christmas Eve we happened upon a girl about that age selling hand-woven bracelets. I offered to buy them all so she could go home for Christmas but she looked terrified at the thought. So, I bought one and tipped her handsomely. I just assumed that she didn't want to go home to her drunken old man.

^^B2^^

On this day: The US Senate confirmed Madeleine Albright as the nation’s first female secretary of state (1997)

I found the juxtaposition of those two images hilarious.

^^B3^^

There was criticism that he was probably doing it for tax purposes. I don't give a fuck if him providing affordable medicine gives him a tax write-off.

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I bet that snake man has done that to a thousand tourists.

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Fucked with grandma and found out.

Someone left this comment on that site:

That's my wife's nickname - from Fried Green Tomatoes.

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The Climber

Is that the Wailing Wall?

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Guys that need to come out.

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Be like this man

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Romanian Electricians

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Subway Heros and The Crying Child

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Most people know that the best way to get rid of a zit is to turn it into an open wound.

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PLACES

American soldiers at mass in the rubble at Cologne Cathedral, March 1945.

"Dear God, Sorry we blowed up your holy house up."

- GIs probably

My wife and I visited there. The marble used in the repairs did not match the original. I think they did that for the didactic value.

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Mural at a fish & chips shops in 'Stralia.

I have never heard him sing a note.

But that is very well done.

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Hahahabananaha!

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Life imitating art...

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It's as if the Earth is breathing.

There are two high tides. It was explained to me that the moon pulls the water out but it also pulls the Earth away from the water on the other side. Does that sound about right?

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U-Turn from hell

And...

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Frozen Food

But what is this?

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I'm getting bored of 69 and 420. They should release new funny numbers.

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THINGS

A robot vacuum cleaner made a break for freedom after giving staff the slip at a Travelodge hotel.

The automated cleaner failed to stop at the front door of the hotel in Orchard Park in Cambridge and was still on the loose the following day.

Staff said it just kept going and "could be anywhere" while well-wishers on social media hoped the vacuum enjoyed its travels, as "it has no natural predators" in the wild.

Staff at the hotel posted the story of the robot vacuum's great escape on social media, asking for it to be returned if found.

LATER: They found it out behind the building.

^^D1^^

Don't get me started about the ridiculous laws regulating burials whose only purpose is to enrich the funeral companies.

^^D2^^

The Theorbo.

-sound on-

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I've shown you this before but here's a longer version.

Art imitating life...

And EVERY Bollywood movie no matter the genre has dance scenes.

I even watched a Bollywood sci-fi ghost story and it had dance scenes.

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It's called expanded metal because...

They expand the metal.

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A claustrophobic patient had a panic attack in the middle of a CT scan.

Looks otherworldly, doesn't it?

^^D6^^

"An Iranian carpet weaver spent 19 years creating this extraordinary silk carpet as a gift to the people of the United States."

They can program a computerized loom to weave whatever image you want. 19 years to create? I don't believe it.

^^D7^^

Freaky Water

I'm assuming that is due to the shutter speed of the camera.

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Janeway and Paris’s kids are out for a stroll.

It's a Star Trek: Voyager reference.

(I had to look it up.)

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Swan Samaritan

^^D10^^

The Secretarybird Sagittarius serpentarius is known for its very prominent eyelashes.

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SOURCE

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Guard Dog Medal of Honor Winner

"Don't fuck with Grandma."

- dog probably

^^D14^^

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If I'm not mistaken he then walked into a bar.

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Who did it better?

Or...

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