One Of My Very Own
"The one that's almost impossible to read?"
"That would be the one."
A HUMAN MENAGERIE
Mr. Paxton nails every role he's given.
He's in so many movies on free cable movie channels that I feel I know him personally. But in Twister, leather belts tether them to a pipe without mishap from a class 5 tornado - the same tornado that moments before threw a semi a mile and a half.
Storm chasers paid tribute to Bill Paxton via GPS when he died in 2017.
Here's another pro.
Do you remember the great cast of Taxi?
It seems like some men fantasize about their car as their steed AND armor as they seek vehicular dominance.
Asian Countries: Why is obesity so high in America?
Americans:
I would love the decision-making process that went into that.
This looks like me watching the Jan 6 Hearing.
On more than one occasion I've expected this guy to walk in and...
And...
This is how it feels when commenters try to explain to me that trickle-down economics is good for America and that the health of the citizenry is none of the government's business.
Sen. Ron Johnson (R-WI) with absolutely no sense of irony.
When the clerk where I used to buy beer would say,
"Enjoy your party!"
I once bought 30 cases of beer because it was on sale (True). The clerk warned me that it would go bad in 30 days and I pursed my lips, nodded, and said, "Seems about right."
Remember, we are not only bigger than they are but also smarter than they are.
*Viewer Contribution
My children could roll a perfect joint before they could ride a bicycle.
^^A10^^
My high school in Oklahoma had shop classes (remember those?). Each year they built a house from the ground up. They learned how to dig and lay a foundation from blueprints, frame it, plumb it, wire it, paint it, and clean it ready to sell. It was sold to raise money for the supplies to build the next house the following year. I always wished I had been part of that.
Redneck Silencer
I live in a place where 90% of the people talk just like he does.
River Surfing
It was stated that this is extraordinarily dangerous.
The fact that we must make coffee without first having coffee first is proof we live in an unjust, chaotic universe.
I hate to break it to anyone who thinks the jokes are tasteless but people have been joking about monarchs dying for like 5000 years. Imagine if Facebook had been around when Caesar got stabbed...and stabbed...and stabbed.
OBJECTS OF INTEREST
Think that's a joke? Read on...
Additional items from the same source:
This month's Harper's Index informs us that those who voted for Trump in the last election are 50% more likely to have donated sperm than those who voted for Biden. That's according to YouGov data. Some other important facts:
* Percentage of Americans who say they aren't afraid of anything: 16
* Portion of U.S. millennials who have pretended that they don't know how to cook to avoid having to help: 3/5
* Percentage increase since 2019 in the number of independent bookstores in the United States: 34
* Percentage of U.S. adults who think video gaming should be taught in schools: 54
* Percentage of cannabis consumers who use it daily: 46
*Viewer contribution
Johnny Cash wrote a song about that very thing.
The Giant Cheetle of Cheadle, Alberta. Created by F & D Scene Changes Calgary
I was Cheetos every goddamn day. I consider them a national treasure.
Did you notice that the rice rolls around in the cup making itself into a ball?
I think this is a beautiful cartoon in every way.
I think it would have been more effective if he had just dropped the paper onto the blade.
An astrophysicist once told me there is no such thing as empty space - as in it being nothingness. If space was nothing then everything in the universe would touch one another.
The FCC seeks to clean up the low-Earth orbit (LEO) region of space below the 1,200 miles (2,000 km) altitude with the adoption of new rules changing the post-mission complete LEO satellite deorbit due date from 25 years to down to 5.
The person who saw breadsticks lightly sprinkled with parmesan and decided to name them "Crazy Bread" was one dramatic bitch.
If a Transformer died would you just use its corpse as a regular car? Like, respectfully, tho?
CREATURES GREAT AND SMALL
When I used to go to the State Fair, I loved admiring the hundreds of varieties of chickens.
How very wonderful.
^^C3^^
The so-called "walking popcorn bug" is actually a flatid planthopper nymph covered with a protective layer of waxy white filament, like a cottony cushion.
Chinese water deer are the only British deer species not to have antlers. Instead, the males have large canine teeth that can grow up to 6cm in length and are used to fight off other males that enter their territory.
*Who would name it the "Chinese" water deer if it lives in England?
Another Dog Rescue
I think the dog is going nut because it is right on the verge of dying of dehydration.
GIVE THE DOG SOME WATER!
Flying Fish
That looks like more than a simple glide. Maybe there's a strong, headwind. And to think, it is holding his breath the whole time.
And all of the clips I've seen they move in schools.
The lowland-streaked tenrec is the only mammal known to communicate using stridulation. It vibrates specialized spines against each other to produce a high-frequency sound, a communication method more commonly seen in insects such as crickets.
I'm going to take the seeds off of my next McDonald's burger bun and grow my own damn burgers.
Can we stop screwing around and just frost the whole Pop-Tart? We have the technology.
NAUGHTY BITS
I have learned to keep my meme sharing private to minimize sexual assaults.
Just two guys practicing for our prostate exams.
But a map won't eventually give you a grandchild.
SLOW?!? I would stop and take out a lawn chair.
The internet has ruined me.
I always said that I would be very disappointed in my girls if they graduated from high school still virgins. I breathed a sigh of relief when my wife told me there had been a request for birth control pills.
This is the way I maintain my alpha male status...
I like to pause movies at awkward moments...
There's an STD joke in there somewhere.
Speaking of...
But here's a way to keep your Mimsy clean that's a lot more fun.
And let's close with this classic...
I figure he running into the house to pleasure his wife while his manhood is all swollen up.
<>
Wait for it...
"My children could roll a perfect joint before they could ride a bicycle" is a lie.
7 comments:
Puzzle. Time: much too easy this time.
"Go fuck yourself"
C7: The fish don't hold their breath. They don't have lungs!
#A1:
Deal! How will I know when to tip in your memory?
Puzzle Time - Go Fuck Yourself .... that joke must be 50 years old at least ..
Dear Suppe, I'll have my heirs post something on Folio Olio.
RH
Dear Plod, You are right. I am desperate for material. Please send me any and every puzzle you can.
RH
Dear Ralph,
Thank you for thinking ahead that far and taking measures. Unless I'm the first to go, I will definitely have a drink in your memory, tip extra generously, and will tell a few anecdotes about your blog.
A good time to say "Thank you!" for all the wonderful stuff you make, collect, and share with us.
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