FOOD FOR THOUGHT
In the 1970s my one-day-to-be-wife hitchhiked everywhere. It's a wonder any of them survived into adulthood.
Well, that's too bad. I like that guy.
Our eyes have deteriorated to the point that my wife and I are shopping for a large-screen TV.
Do any of you have any advice for me?
You are allowed to waste time. You need to completely relax every once in a while. But not ALL your free time. Learn how to make something besides money - music, art, roses, etc.
I'm thinking of asking all political commenters if they believe the election was stolen just so they and I are on equal footing, as it were.
Trans Debate
That was a polite way of saying what he really felt...
I've been accused of sanctioning the mutilation of the genitals of children. I do not.
I'm the guy who thinks circumcision is mutilation and should be delayed until the child is of legal age to decide for himself.
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And just for the record, I am not a proponent of late-term abortion unless under extreme circumstances.
You're telling me a blunt forced this trauma?
Peekaboo is essentially just making fun of babies for not understanding object permanence.
MAN THE CREATOR
*OSIT
My friend Carl built the set for the movie Swamp Thing.
He drove me out into the swamp to show me his handiwork and I asked how the actors avoided getting soot all over their costumes while acting in the burned-out lab.
He explained that each board was carefully sculpted with a chainsaw and body grinder to look charred and then sprayed with flat black paint. It fooled the shit out of me.
There are millions of photos like this on the internet...
Now this...
If I know anything about human nature, that just means they can fit 12 instead of 6 people on it.
Speaking of...
People get very creative when it comes to modes of transportation.
I would be impressed if it was once an abandoned strip mine.
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I haven't seen one of these installations for a while.
I feel a special kinship with people who give things away just to bring a little sunshine into strangers' lives. My hundreds of key packets served a similar purpose.
Knot Making
Think of how old of a skill rope making is. And as soon as you invent the rope, you need to invent lots and lots of knots.
3D Projection
Arm Tools
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I don't even know what this is supposed to mean but it was added in the comments of the site where I found the arm tool clip and I thought you needed to see it also.
They say it takes a village. I also believe it takes a distillery.
All of my passwords are protected...by amnesia.
HUMAN ODDITIES
My first wife's advertising agency planned a rafting excursion for every employee and their spouse or significant other as a team-building exercise. I refused. I was told I could not refuse. Then two days before departure a woman on the same river died when her raft slammed against the canyon wall and her head was bashed against the rock. Our planned team-building exercise was canceled.
I expected far more mayhem.
That's great cardio.
I've said often that people living in places like that probably lower their expectations when it comes to finding a mate.
And that reminds me of a story.
A shipwreck survivor landed on an island already occupied by dozens of other sailors. They nursed him back to health and on his first Saturday night on the island, all the men began to whistle and bathe and don their finest clothing. When asked to explain, one of the sailors said that there were no women on the island so for sex they all canoe over to the neighboring where there was a herd of sheep. The survivor was repulsed and sat on the island listening to the merriment from the neighboring island. This went on for several weeks then finally the survivor jumped in the first canoe on the way to the island and when the boat beached he jumped off, grabbed the closest sheep, and began to fuck the shit out of it. The other sailors convulsed with laughter. When asked what was so funny they said, "You picked the ugliest sheep on the whole damn island!!!"
My dearest friend was the Assistant Secretary of Transportation in the Carter administration. He was sent to Egypt to help them design their interstate highway system. One thing that he and his wife found perplexing was that Cairo drivers were always honking their horns for no apparent reason.
Then one day they decided to take a cab out of the city to see some of the countryside. A couple of miles outside the city my friend's wife asked why the driver was still honking his horn when there was hardly any traffic. The cab driver explained that the horns were on a timer, his was set to sound every 10 seconds.
Imagine how much room we could save in barracks, dormitories, and on ships if people could sleep like that.
*OSIT
Can you explain this photograph?
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Preschool children visit a beehive.
My sister bragged that her husband won money EVERY TIME he played the slot machines because he had a "system". I asked a few questions and discovered that the machines he played used a credit card instead of coins, then when you did win something it paid out in coins. So, when he cashed in a bucketful of coins god only knows how much debt it put on his credit card. But she only saw him cashing out and I did not tell her the truth.
Can you identify these famous people before they were famous?
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Marilyn Monroe
Vincent van Gogh
Steve Jobs
Peter Falk
Insane Bike Riders
Cameraman
China Humor
Dance like no one is watching, but text like it will be read in court one day.
I'll never forget getting ready to go out for a bachelor's party and my grandfather told me if I really wanted to outdrink everyone else I should drink three shots of olive oil to "coat my stomach". So, I did, and as soon as we got to the bar I shit my pants.
OBJECTS OF INTEREST
*MNBT
Tactical Assault Cow
And all the ladies took notice...
Before the internet, I needed a photograph of the side view of a cow just like one of those. So, I drove to a field, got out, and as I focused every single cow turned to face me and walked right up to the fence where I stood thus negating all hope of a side view.
Speaking of...
Outside the sink unclogged's apartment...
*MNBT
*OSIT
Feeding Baby Birds
Lathe
Octopus
RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!!
Much ado about nothing. Shit like that is used to distract you while the people in power amass more and more wealth.
*Verification Requested
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The vocabulary of a fifth-grader.
I do not think that stolen top secret files, the paying off of a porn star, coaxing Georgia to find votes, or late library books are the issue we should address most urgently. I want him on trial for planning and executing the Jan. 6 attempted coup.
I was wrong when I predicted that all his trials would result in hung juries after his rape trial guilty verdict but I am still confident that whoever is president when and if Trump is found guilty will pardon him. No one wants a former President of the United States in prison.
What is this used for?
7 comments:
Puzzle. Time: remembering the classification of living things on your biology test in high school.
^^A2^^
But he supported Trump...
Do any of you have any advice for me?
^^A3^^
That depends on your budget.
^^C15^^
Lacist hypocrite.
IN REASON WE ALL SHOULD TRUST
*Verification Requested
It's BS, nothing to do with paedophiles (apologies for the offensive term, should be 'minor attracted persons' according to the woke)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Bible_and_homosexuality
Search for 'arsenokoitai' in the article above.
^^B8^^ Recent research shows that string has been around for 50,000 years. Neanderthals were making it and probably taught H Sapiens how to do it. So they were making knots for at least that long too.
https://www.sciencenews.org/article/neandertal-made-oldest-known-string
Re buying a new TV set, with bigger screen...why don't you heed your own advice from 9 years ago?
"People are buying ever bigger TV's. Why does it not occur to them to just move their furniture closer to the older smaller set?"
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