About Me

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I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Saturday, July 29, 2023

SATURDAY #5330

 One Of My Very Own

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GET LEARNT


My daughters are only 11 months apart so we were keen on getting #1 potty trained before #2 arrived. So we bought a little potty stool and when she asked what it was we told her it was hers for when she got ready to use the bathroom like a big girl. The next day she asked to use it and when my wife and I heard the urine flow we began to whoop and holler and jump around only to glance down at our terrified daughter. It was one year later before she sat on it again. So, don't make too big a deal of it is my advice.

^^A1^^

^^A2^^

We are not ready for this.






*Verification Requested

^^A3^^

I was told this was promoted during WWII for Victory Gardens.

^^A4^^

That's amazing.

^^A5^^

That tricycle design was a real rollover hazard.

Here is an illustration of the problem...sort of...

*I know it's a trailer.

^^A6^^

The banking industry gave me unrealistic expectations that it was ok to fail.

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Me: Which highway did you take?

My wife: The one Maps told me to. I dunno. I remember there was asphalt. Other cars and stuff.

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FOR AMUSEMENT ONLY


^^B1^^

^^B2^^

^^B3^^

^^B4^^

^^B5^^

I knew a young man who married his step-sister. But not for long.

^^B6^^

^^B7^^

AI movie scripts will include every cliché imaginable.

^^B8^^

^^B9^^

It actually means:

 "Sometime in the past but the exact date doesn't matter".

^^B10^^

^^B11^^

Gun Shot

^^B12^^

A FEW FOR SCHADENFREUDE


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^^B 13-15^^

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^^B16^^

Are you even a person if you were born in a generation that isn’t named after a letter?

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My life is a constant battle between wanting to correct grammar and wanting to have friends.

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WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT


It looks like they are filming to show how heavy a hot tub actually is and what damage it can cause.

^^C1^^

I would love to live in a weird house.

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It would be cool if the spout was a functioning chimney.

^^C2^^

We've all seen that now this...

^^C3^^

Hyperrealism.

^^C4^^

If that is true then I blame the shooting range supervisors.

^^C5^^

And it's good exercise.

^^C6^^

I built storage like that into every available space in a mobile home I bought - sans guns.

^^C7^^

How very wonderful.

^^C8^^

In a town where I did a lot of work, the dam broke on a cypress lake and it looked just like that.

The locals have been in the cypress lumber business in the same lake since the 1930s and set strict limits on the harvest to prolong the forest.

^^C9^^

I don't know what that means I just thought it was a cool image.

^^C10^^

Attention fat vegans: Explain.

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[Dog Restaurant]

“Is the Book Report any good?”

Yes, Sir.

“How’s it prepared?”

A 9yo stayed up till 3am to finish it.

“Ooh, I’ll have that.”

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FATALITY RATES


"In light of recent mishaps *cough OceanGate cough cough*, NomadicYak put together a list documenting the most deadly tourist activities in 2023. These numbers were gathered from 4 main tourism areas of the world; Europe, Australia, the United Kingdom, and the United States.

Whether it’s sky diving, binge-drinking, or exploring underwater caves, each activity is listed with its respective fatality rate."


Scuba Diving for Recreation Fatality rate: 1 in 555,556

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Hot Air Balloon Rides Fatality rate: 1 in 500,000

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Bungee Jumping Fatality rate: 1 in 500,000

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Swimming in the Pool Fatality rate: 1 in 400,000

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Cycling Fatality rate: 1 in 270,270

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Boating Fatality rate: 1 in 263,158

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Submersible Tours Fatality rate: 1 in 200,000

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White Water Rafting Fatality rate: 1 in 181,818

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Airplane/Helicopter Sightseeing Tours Fatality rate: 1 in 181,818

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Surfing Fatality rate: 1 in 158,730

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Open Water Swimming Fatality rate: 1 in 156,250

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Jet Skiing Fatality rate: 1 in 125,000

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The Running of the Bulls Fatality rate: 1 in 111,111

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Sky Diving Fatality rate: 1 in 90,909

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Riding Motorcycles Fatality rate: 1 in 58,823

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Hiking Fatality rate: 1 in 50,000

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Mountain Biking Fatality rate: 1 in 28,571

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Paragliding Fatality rate: 1 in 13,513

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Horseback Riding Fatality rate: 1 in 10,000

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Driving Fatality rate: 1 in 7,142

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Cave Diving Fatality rate: 1 in 3,333

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Mountaineering/Rock Climbing

Fatality rate: 1 in 3,125

^^F 1-22^^



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Consider that food for thought and not an accusation, but remember when proof used to matter?

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Here's a hint if you need it...






6 comments:

Anonymous said...

^^C10^^
Probablly the US notion that the US is the world and there's nothing outside of the US.

Anonymous said...

^^F1-22^^

I hope you don't drive, looks like thrillseeking.

Anonymous said...

Puzzle Time
Goose

Ralph Henry said...

Dear Puzzler,
Almost.
RH

Anonymous said...

Puzzle Time

It's duck duck goose

Anonymous said...

Duck duck goose.

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