About Me

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I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Wednesday, August 2, 2023

WENESDAY #5334

 One Of My Very Own

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*I don't know what that means except, of course, for the absurdity.

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PERSONAL MEMORIES


"I have been a grandfather in 

training all of my life."

For most of my adult life, I have been declaring that to anyone who cared to listen. Now I have the chance to prove it.

My grandson came to visit and I taught him how to punch letters into leather and I used all my skills. First, I showed him how.

Then I helped him do it...

Then I just watched him do it...

His mother told me that he didn't really like trying new things because he detested making mistakes. So my first lesson was to convince him that everyone punched a letter backward or upside down - even me. But...BUT that showed that a human being made it instead of a machine - people make mistakes, but machines do not. And he did make mistakes. Then he would look at me and I would shrug and then...he would shrug.

I also taught him how to drill mounting holes in the corners.

And we had a wonderful low-stress experience.

Here is the one he made for me.

Note that the G is upside down. Also, I should explain that I lost the Y and the T in a studio fire back in '79 so he had to make those letters with a flat-head screwdriver. He invented how to make the exclamation point all by himself.

He also screwed it to the wall in my studio by himself.

He made one with his name to add to the most excellent Heart of Stone he found at the beach.

His name is Persian because his father is Persian.

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I once sidled up to the bar to get a beer and a young man asked if I was Ralph Henry. I asked if we had met. Then he said, "You wrote in your blog that you always say, "'Why? Does he owe you money?' I read your blog every fucking day."

Then he bought me a beer.

^^A1^^

I really like to work with recycled wood. It has less to do with the cost and more to do with having to design around the limitations.

^^A2^^

The only time I really miss alcohol is when I finish a difficult project and want to celebrate. For 50 years I had a celebratory drink when I finished just about anything.

^^A3^^

I was once asked to produce 10K cardboard cutouts to be used as a stadium crowd in a movie - I declined. My daughter was an extra in the film and when I found out she was slated to attend the wrap party I offered her $100 to bring me one of the cutouts. She forgot.

^^A4^^

All of my life I have carried a blank check in my wallet for emergencies. Now I wonder if anyone would even accept a paper check.

^^A5^^

I would like to apologize for some of the music on some MP4s that I post. I don't know why anyone would do such a thing.

^^A6^^

Imagine this...

The closest I came to such a thing was a 1948 GMC pickup that was found in a barn where it was parked when the owner died. He had bought it new and it had never been out of Lexington County. After putting on four new tires and a new battery it cranked right up and standing next to it you couldn't hear it running.

I loved that truck.

^^A7^^

I took my crew into a restaurant after finishing a mural. We all looked like artists with paint crusting every article of clothing.

One of the guys asked if we could shoot pool on the beautiful table sitting in the middle of the room. So I walked up to the bartender and asked if we could use the table. She got a smirk on her face that looked very much like this...

And said condescendingly, "It's Four. Tee. Five. Dollars. An. Hour."

I tossed her a hundred-dollar bill and said, "Then I'll take it for two hours. Keep the change."

^^A8^^

For reasons that I never fully understood, everyone who worked in the nuke shop had a handlebar mustache.

A buddy who looked very much like the guy above was sitting at my table when another guy sneaked up behind him and grabbed the tip of my buddy's mustache. Reflectedly my friend jerked his head resulting in his longest hairs being ripped from his lip. It took three of us to keep him from beating the shit out of the prankster.

^^A9^^

I watched (had it playing while I worked on my blog) the worst movie ever to disgrace the screen. Even with scenery like this sprinkled throughout I turned it off halfway through it.

Get these plot coincidences: An alien invasion, a drunk pilot who had been abducted a year prior, a mothership that had to be destroyed with a nuke, the aliens had force field protections, the primary weapon opened up like a flower in the belly of the mothership, they captured a creature who communicated telepathically, and the good guys won. 

How the hell did they get away with stealing Independence Day down to the last detail?

^^A10^^

I post a lot of images of people working high in the air and it just now dawned on me that it is because I spent a large portion of my life hanging off scaffolding, ladders, stage lifts, and bucket trucks.

One of my greatest accomplishments was erecting a 40' stack of scaffolding complete with wallboards and ladder stairs all by myself with just ropes and brute strength.

^^A11^^

In the early 1970s, there was a fad whereby young people would run naked through campuses all over America. It was called Streaking and my University of South Carolina decided to break the world's record for group streak. To accomplish this the crowd had to be funneled through a narrow gate so the official counter could make his tally. The problem was that hundreds of naked people couldn't run through a small opening and the mass streak quickly morphed into a stand-around naked and look awkward sea of humanity.

There were many stories of spectators who got caught up in the excitement and stripped naked right on the sidewalk and joined in. All the while I was in my studio getting ready for a critique and missed the whole damn thing.

^^A12^^

Golf

My father decided in middle age that he needed to play golf so he positioned me on one side of our 2 1/2 acre yard and he stood on the other. The objective was for him to hit the ball to me then I would hit the ball to him. The problem was that he had been given instructions from a pro and I had had no such instruction. So, every time I hit the ball it veered off wildly - sometimes to the right, sometimes to the left. My father called it quits after an agonizing ball-hunting hour.

^^A13^^

Guard Duty

I hung out at the American Legion with my dear friend Billy just about every day. I liked the guy a lot. When he died I was the first non-family member his wife called. Anyway, Billy's Marine firebase was overrun in Vietnam and the only way he survived was by pulling two bodies of the enemies he had killed over him in his foxhole and when it got dark he crawled off into the jungle. He had been shot up pretty badly so after Vietnam he wasn't really fit for combat so they made him a guard at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier in Washington. He told me that he got that job because he was exactly the right size - 6' and 180 pounds.

^^A14^^

My biggest fear is a killer saying something funny while I'm playing dead.

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To everyone who signed my high school yearbook, you will be happy to know that I did, in fact, "Stay cool".

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GET LEARNT


^^B1^^

That looks like a radial airplane engine.

^^B2^^

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^^B3^^

I watched a documentary concerning a restoration team on a temple like that and up in a dark recess they found some of the original paint.

^^B4^^

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^^B5^^

It is my understanding that the only ejections we have to fear are the ones on the sun's equator since those would be aimed directly at us.

^^B5^^

This Breathtaking Video Will Take You to The Dawn of The Universe

A deep dive into a deep field captured by the James Webb Space Telescope gives us a sense of impossible spaceflight – and the way galaxies changed over the history of the Universe.

For a survey called Cosmic Evolution Early Release Science (CEERS), the JWST peered deep into a small patch of space known as the Extended Groth Stripimaged by Hubble in 2004 and 2005. There, tens of thousands of galaxies extend back into the Cosmic Dawn, laying out the evolution of the Universe.

JWST's CEERS observation focused on a small section of the strip containing 5,000 galaxies. But it's not just any section: At the farthest reaches of JWST's view is a small, red blob known as Maisie's Galaxy. At just 390 million years after the Big Bang, Maisie's Galaxy is one of the earliest galaxies we've ever seen.

^^B6^^

This is a T-72.

^^B7^^

The Ukrainian Armed Forces are clearing the territory on the front line. The Russians threw mines every meter. Using remote-controlled mine-clearing drones and vehicles like these saves the lives of both military and civilians.

(problems loading)

^^B8^^

Ukraine Mine Disposal

^^B9^^

Each person has just so much energy set aside every day specifically to deal with idiots. I spend all of mine on myself.

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The whole world is short-staffed. 

Be kind to those who show up.

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OBJECTS OF INTEREST


A milled log for a desk

That pattern really doesn't make sense to me but what do I know.

^^C1^^

Brilliant! I would love to meet the person who made that. Bravo!

^^C2^^

I understand the very impressive visual effect but that just seems like a lot of space to leave empty.

^^C3^^

Kids did this in Oklahoma when I was in high school.

^^C4^^

^^C5^^

Remember this guy?

Some of them seem a little obscure, but interestingly - at least to me - the phone is one of those old clunkers.

^^C6^^

I bet getting that suit on him is a real pain in the ass.

^^C7^^

I wonder if they are making laths for plaster walls.

^^C8^^

I've seen a thousand people walk into one of my bars just like that.

^^C9^^

Cube Solver

And then there's this...

^^C10^^

I'm glad that I get to share a planet with fireflies.

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I believe we’re entering the ‘training for hell’ phase of summer.

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HUMAN ODDITIES


^^D1^^

Have you ever wondered why ALL officers in the military must have a college degree?

^^D2^^

I love theater popcorn so much that I have been known to buy it when I'm not going to watch a movie. I just walked in, bought it, and left. Now that little treat is cost prohibitive.

^^D3^^

I bet that has freaked some people out.

^^D4^^

^^D5^^

The guy who slept through physics class in high school...

^^D6^^

The best-laid plans...

^^D7^^

I would like to think he was evading the police...and it worked.

^^D8^^

^^D9^^

^^D10^^

British Politics

^^D11^^

Car Wreck

^^D13^^

He's Playing Our Song

^^D14^^


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I don't know if he said that but we probably should think about it.

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9 comments:

MIKE HARRIS said...

B3; Entry to Stonehenge now stands at £23.60 [$30.14].

Anonymous said...

^^A14^^
Tomb of the Unknown Soldier

Saw a documentary years ago about identifying the unknown soldier.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tomb_of_the_Unknown_Soldier_(Arlington)#Identification_of_the_Unknown

Wrekreation said...

Definitely one of your better days - (in my personal opinion) Thanks
possible source
https://www.tumblr.com/bluelady329luv

Ralph Henry said...

Dear Mike,
Do the locals have to pay the fee?
RH

Anonymous said...

Puzzle time: child predator?

NonMaga said...

A10
Don't leave us hanging. What was the name of that movie. Asking for purely academic purposes.

A14

"Other requirements of the Guard: They must commit 2 years of life to guard the tomb, live in a barracks under the tomb, and cannot drink any alcohol on or off duty for the rest of their lives. They cannot swear in public for the rest of their lives and cannot disgrace the uniform {fighting} or the tomb in any way.
After two years, the guard is given a wreath pin that is worn on their lapel signifying they served as guard of the tomb. There are only 400 presently worn. The guard must obey these rules for the rest of their lives or give up the wreath pin. "

Ralph Henry said...

Dear NonMaga,
A10: I don't remember the name of the movie.
A14: I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that you have never been in the military. I don't doubt that you found those rules written somewhere, but in real life, they are laughable - especially the one about cursing (you should have heard my friend, Billy, during a football game in which he's losing).
I will say that my friend was deeply moved by his experience but after discharge, any "rules" simply do not apply...except for me.
As an ex-nuke guy, I am prohibited from discussing anything about them by real laws.
RH

Anonymous said...

King James Bible: John 6.5
He who eats My flesh and drinks My blood abides in Me, and I in him.
Yuck

NonMaga said...

Sorry Ralph, I did serve. Not in the US military though. I

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