FOLIO OLIO

PEOPLE DOING THINGS THAT CONFUSE ME

This is fucking awful...if it's what I think it is...

Making a movie?

Now they put sights on the side of pistols for the brothers...right where the spent cartridges pop out....jeeeeeez.

This Spanish woman has the notarized registration papers to prove she officially owns the sun.

I don't know what's going on here, but it's got drama written all over it...

The town has been bombed into nothingness, so what could this poor woman have to confess to this pompous, pious, prick?

?????

I have taught children with some very strange names. I once said that I had enough India's, Morocco's, etc to have a UN quorum. But the best was when I called the roll on the first day and came upon Lutherque. I first pronounced it as it's spelled, then tried Luther-q, but still no response. After I finished a little boy came up to my desk and said that I didn't call his name. I showed him the list and he pointed to Lutherque. I asked him how he pronounced it and he said, "Laquintheous."

He would had seen this man on his first day of acting class, what odds would you have bet?

Got milk?

I have no idea about this...any ideas?

Read the joke. I didn't get it.

What do you do for a living?
I'm the tongue painting guy.

And I'm the cleaning ear guy.

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SOMETHING YOU MAY NOT KNOW ABOUT ME

Once I was at the beach and got into a poker game that I hated. It was a match the pot game configured as below. All players got only two cards, then five cards were laid out on the table as in illustration. Only the middle card was shown until you declare whether you are in or out. Then the other four cards are turned over and you make the best hand you can out of your two cards and three of the cards in a line.

Well, I folded every time. I was still in college and didn't have any money. Other players had to match and rematch the pot so many times that it reach over $300; way, way over my limit. Then I was dealt the hand above: Three Kings right off the bat. Knowing that if I lost I would have to write a check that wouldn't clear for weeks, I said I was in.....and, of course, I won.
But that's not the point of the story. After the game, my wife at the time and I went for a walk on the beach.

The beach lay between the ocean and a major highway atop a ten or so foot levee. Well, one thing led to another and because she was overjoyed at my new lucre, I had her naked in the dunes next to the highway. There was a guardrail which kept the cars from seeing us. She got on her hands and knees and we....did what young happy people do. Then right in the middle of it, a city bus stop directly above us and a dozens faces beamed down at us...well, me, actually, because as soon as I saw it I placed my hand on the back of her head to keep her from seeing it and never missed a stroke.

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PEOPLE I WOULD LIKE TO MEET

This is Kim Jeong. He is a very, very funny man and, oh, also a medical doctor.
Remember him in The Hangover?

Don't call me Shirley.

Thanks, guy that nobody can pronounce his name.

You may not know this, but Andy was the buffoon in the first three shows. Then Andy Griffith told the producer that Barney should get the laughs.

"You can let her run or you can bring her down and do her like Delia got done."
Beautiful line that.

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WORDS TO PERSPIRE

Goth: I will keep wearing black until they invent a darker color.

I wonder if chess players in Australia have to say "Checkmatemate" to avoid confusion?

I park in handicapped spots, which I think is fine because I'm morally handicapped.

Friends don't let friends dress like Elvis.

What happened when Jesus went to mount Olive?
Popeye kicked his ass is what.

*****

One of my very own...