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I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Friday, May 20, 2011

PEOPLE I WOULD LIKE TO MEET

I saw this image today and realized I had seen this at a gas station years ago out in the middle of nowhere. The van part connects to what can only be called a very elaborate boat trailer; upon which is a very elaborate boat. The "Point" of the front end of the boat is tucked inside the van. Anyway, I would like to meet the guy who owns it.

I would like to meet any guy who could train hogs to get on and off a train.

"I went right from the cat house to the dog house."

"Hello, miss, I'm an artist. I got papers and everything."

My daughter asked me where babies come from, and to distract her I said, "Some day we're all going to die."

I don't really want to meet this guy, I want to meet the motherfucker who painted the picture that this guy bought.

TRUE:  The Water Reclamation District has told the EPA that they don't thing that Chicago should clean the mountains of toxic sewage out of the Chicago River because if they did people might swim in it and drown.

I know....I know....you thought she was not wearing pants, but she's a black girl wearing white girl colored tights. I would like to ask her what the fuck she was thinking.

TRUE: There is a group trying to get a ban on circumcision placed on the ballot in San Francisco.
(I have always thought the whole dick cut thing rather silly, but I'll be damn if I want the government telling me I can't do it.)

That look that old people give young people...this is what it's all about.....you arrogant little shits.

I think I've figured out why we are ending space exploration. We have spent all this money and time and still haven't found anything to kill.

I want to meet her. What an attitude!

I think Lady Gaga just pusts glue on herself and rolls around in random shit.

She's cool and shit, but is that helmet on the kid a pre-condition medical thing or a what if he gets hit by a baseball thing?


The verb "was" was not needed....


I like this...and may explain why a woman would wear a bra, otherwise the bra's usage is ridiculous.


Do you think a guy did this or a gal did this? My money is on guy.

I would like to meet this guy so I could slap the shit out of him. Surely he has someone who loves him who would cry at his funeral.


TRUE: Distraught bride who was jilted jumps but is grabbed at just the exact second to save her life.
The guy said he just did what anybody else would have done..........Maybe.

I want to meet this guy. This is Stephen Hawking in the 5th grade.

I would like to have a conversation with this guy. I could have him out of those silly robes and in blue jeans in 30 minutes tops.


This is a new photo. This motherfucker types on a typewriter. Yeah, I want to meet him.

The word 'lethologica' describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want.

Couldn't find out if this poster is for sale. If so I would have it framed and on my wall before  you could say, "Lucubration."


 I would like to meet the guy who bought this, cause that bastard has enough money for a fine ass mural.

I have often asked women why they wear bras. The most common answer is so their nipples don't show. Yeah, like that's a fucking answer.
If guy's had nipples they would be cutting holes in their shirts just to show them off.

So, women, you don't think men like looking at nipples?
 You are wrong.

I don't care who these people are or where they are, I know I would like them.
 Speaking of marijuana.....

I'm so fucking tired of reading in a newspaper that a "defenseless old couple was attacked in their home".
Why would anyone opt for being defenseless? 

SOME PRETTY GOOD IDEAS

If, as I have done, you have attempted to cut corn from the cob without a mess, you will realize what a good idea this is.

And in the 'I should have thought of this' category....

This man is an advertising genius.....

When I got arrested they didn't accept credit cards. I'm glad that they have changed their policy.

Could I get this by the case?

A COUPLE OF CARTOONS TO GET YOU THROUGH THE WEEKEND


One of my very own....

WOMEN WHO LOOK LIKE SHUTS,
BUT PROBABLY AREN'T....
 Would someone explain to me why the woman above just go fucking nude. It's rather silly don't you think?

JESUS MOTHER OF FUCKING GOD, YA'LL!!!!

And lastly, one of the best ideas I've heard about in years....I plan to do this on my front steps....



2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am curious as to your take on circumcision...that you don't want the government to tell you what you can or can't do. As I'm sure you know, circumcision traces its roots to early Judaism, in which boys would have their foreskin cut off before they turned 8 days old. Some may consider this an abusive practice. Do you not think that the child should be at an age to make the decision himself? What if the practice was cutting off the tip of the left pinky?
Bruce

Ralph Henry said...

I am agin it.....but....
The pinky thing was interesting. What about the clitoris as is the custom in some places? It's perplexing that circumcision is okay, but snipping a female is taboo.

I have read that circumcision may be done to aid in hygiene; hinting, of course, that our bodies were not designed very well. I say if we can teach a child to brush his teeth, then we can teach them to clean his fucking dick.

But then the stupidity of the whole practice runs head-on to my abhorrence of having the government telling me what I can and can't do.

It's the exact same thing with abortion. I detest it. Terminating a potential human being is one of the most distasteful of deeds. I know that there are many, many reasons why women find this their only option...I understand that...and I also know men don't get pregnant, but I don't like it.

But do I want the government telling women what they can and can't do? NO!

And please don't accuse me of equating circumcision with abortion....it's only the similarity of my reaction to both that is topical.

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