About Me

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I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

PEOPLE NOT LIKE YOU AND ME

These are all true...except for one or two silly things that are easily identifiable...

I don't know about you, but I NEVER would have allowed them to photograph my face to spread all over the internet.
Read on....
I bet he found it hard to give a shit about it...
......think about it a moment.


Is there ONE sane religion left?

And....AND, this is Uriah Smith. He is on the most wanted list in the Virgin Islands. TRUE!
He doesn't even know he's on my blog.....you're welcome.


Okay, ready to give up your silly horoscope shit now?


This man deserves a medal...

....It is a strong and beautiful principle.....Wow!
And this woman has a leadership position over our lifes?
I tremble for the future.


I would like very much to meet this woman...

Two examples of why I don't take public transportation any more...
No. 1
No. 2
Lakeysha talked on the phone for 16 hours non-stop....and she gets to vote....and have children. 


Here is Lakeysha at home not getting "disrespected".

Here are four interesting images of feet....
just because I can....



TRUE: Because I'm an artist, people ALWAYS ask me to video tape events, even though I have never even owned such a camera and never knew how to operate the device. I therefore decided to once and for all sabotage their confidence by doing things.....bizaare. Once I taped an entire three-day family reunion by taping only people's feet. It back fired on me in that it was so fucking funny they wanted me to do it AGAIN! The next reunion I zoomed in my people's mouths as they were eating or talking or laughing. It was so embarrassing that it was a huge success. The last time, during meals, I asked each person what was their favorite thing on their plate, then I asked for a bite of it while I kept the camera on their faces. Every single one of them opened their mouths just like when you feed a baby. I actually liked that one. 
We eat very well at our family reunions, which is coming up June 3rd, by the way.



THINGS I CAN'T EXPLAIN


I don't even care what this is...I want one.


I would love to hear this guy explain this to the Ryder Truck Rental people....


Not shopped...look closely...



You......are.......doing......it........wrong......


"Hey, you.....Nazi SS guy....Fuck you, you sadistic little prick."


I have not a clue....but they look sort of Soviet...


I'm going out on a limb here and predict that these guys are on their way to a movie set. What do you think?


"Oh, look, Grandpa went to Jamaica!"
But he probably doesn't remember a day of it, and wonders why everyone is staring at him while he searches porn sites at the local library.


What could possibly go wrong?


Caffe Nero....Emperor Nero fiddled while Rome burned....Man plays horn on fire outside Caffe Nero....coincidence? I think not.


LATER AT A BAR: "Well, yes, I would like a drink, sir. What do you do for a living?"


TRUE:  Iran is threatening to cut off all internet service. Yeah, that ought to calm the masses....
(I know that's not a computer, but the image just works)


"What did you do on your summer vacation, Boo-click-click-Uba-click-Combo?"
(wouldn't you love to attend a spelling bee in a village where they use clicks and shit to speak?)


Wouldn't it be funny if she is playing "Everything is Beautiful"....in A minor?


"Then I said, "But I'm not the doctor, lady, I'm the gardener!"

One of my very own....
( I'm sorry, but I thought that "One of my very own" was fucking hilarious. It combines a naked woman, an animal and alcohol. I call that a trifecta )

WOMEN WHO LOOK LIKE SLUTS,
BUT PROBABLY AREN'T....
SWEEEEEEEEET!.....(you see, that's candy glued to her melons)


And lastly...speaking of breasts....and it's TRUE...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I've been hearing "Uncle Sam" called "Uncle Sugar" in these heady days of money printing. It has a nice ring to it.

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