THURSDAY 8/30/12

Here is the 81 year old "artist" that fucked up the Spanish Jesus...

TRUE: She has since gone into seclusion.

They are now selling T-shirts of her fuckup....

...and I bet she doesn't get a dime.

I have seen literally hundreds of examples like these...

The internet speaking in the only way it knows how....
And this is my very favorite....

And just in case you don't remember an old internet favorite, here's the orginal "Dog Butt Jesus"...

I would like to have the job of thinking up names for hurricanes. I mean, even if it took a whole day to think up each one, you would still be finished by January 26.

This is the way I look when I see the waiter delivering a dish to another table that looks much better than the one I ordered...

This is how my wife looks at me when she reads my posts about her...

Could somebody send me a picture of a girl in lingerie laying on a couch kissing a raccoon in the mouth.

How the fuck did this happen?

That is what happens when you kill all the gays, therefore there are no decent fashion designers.

This is 50's TV The Lone Ranger. He milked it for the rest of his life, being paid (dressed like that) to appear at grand openings and such....

Maybe Mark Hamill ought to try they.

There are 3 things I hate...racism, homophobia and that negro faggot that lives down the street.

 What kind of she-devil is this?

Once, one of my first grade students came up to me and said he had gotten a gold star in his first judaic heritage class. I asked him if he had to wear it so he's easily identifiable. He didn't get it. So much for judaic heritage.

And then......

 .....they just closed the door.

When I lived in Germany, I owned a '48 VW that looked just like this. We had a ball in that car....

A father is someone who carries pictures in his wallet where his money used to be.

I wonder how long it would take a giraffe to vomit.

Back when people cared about such things...

Friend of my wife's died. He was in the hot dog business. This is a wreath....

I need help on this one, folks......

I think they are just fucking with me.

 This is from a training manual concerning managing women workers during WWII. Some are very interesting...

"This is embarrassing. Get someone to restore it," said JC.

Awkward ad placement....

Rush blamed Obama for the Tampa hurricane.
You do what you want, but I'll vote for anybody who can control the fucking weather.

A gift card is a great way to say "Go buy your own fucking present!"

I thought I was losing weight, but it turned out my sweatpants had come untied.

Not well informed on this, but the interweb is abuzz....

Drawbridge - 1

Bird - 0

Can't properly express my awe in these creatures...

 Let's see any other pet do that.

More than 1,000 words....

Check out the fucktard on bench.

I once had a girl get out of bed, look down at me and say, "Well, that felt better than I thought it would."
I wasn't quite sure how to respond to that.

Remember this when you think you've had a bad day....

I love listening to lies when I know the truth. Usually they look at the expression on my face and quickly add, "Nah, I was just kidding."

If I had been Neil Armstrong, moments before death I would have whispered, "We were not the first."
Just to fuck with the world.

Well worth the read...

Why is it that you never hear men talk about their lesbian friends?

My wife sent me an email: Windows frozen.
I told her to pour some luke warm water over it and now we have to buy her a new computer.

Future gymnasts....true.....

When Superman hovers, why does he always strike a ballerina pose?

This is cool as fucking shit!!!

Look at this tree. Give it a minute.....

Here's the way it was made.

A stamp pad like paint thing was placed on the sidewalk in such a way that pedestrians walked on it...

 The walkers left footprints....

 The footprints formed the leaves on the pre-painted tree on the road.

 I should of thought of that.
I left a comment on the site where I found this telling him I thought it was magnificent, and he emailed me back that it was a lot of fun to make.

Dear women, You might want to put off having a child until your husband stops acting like a child.

Wouldn't you love to know what the tattoo says?

I think she's buying a pack of cigarettes.
I wonder where she carries her lighter?

Well, the old bitch probably had it coming....

Remember, If you ever need someone to talk to, my voicemail will always be there for you.

?????

If it dispensed a shot I could understand it.

If you do this, you're a prick....

Picasso despised Duchamp. I didn't know that until today.
Also, while Picasso produced thousands and thousands of pieces, Duchamp only had 13 major pieces.

MY BELOVED UNIVERSITY OF SOUTH CAROLINA GAMECOCKS KICK OFF THEIR SEASON TONIGHT.
WE ARE RANKED #9 AND WE ARE READY!