About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

WEDNESDAY 10/31/12


Well, the storm could have been worse, I guess.




Don't worry about evacuating. If it's a legitimate storm, your home has a way of shutting itself down to protect itself.


This is actually rather impressive...


The news showed bared grocery store shelves. You know it's a major storm when the Bud Light Lime is sold out.


This is the way Walmart prepared for the storm...


To most, being trapped in their home due to an apocalyptic storm is the best Monday they've had all year.


Haven't heard this link before. Anybody know anything I could read to help me understand?

I don't want to sound mean, but if everyone from your mayor to the president told you to evacuate and you didn't, then fuck you. Sure, we will rescue you, but you will be billed for all expenses.

Well, it couldn't hurt...

New Yorkers, as you flee your city and head south, I will welcome you with the same hospitality that you have always shown me....this tiny room is yours for only $875 a night.


Got this email the other day:


Not sure if you caught this article from a few days ago.  I'm not quite sure on how I feel exactly on original art manipulation, but this one has an interesting perspective.  By the way, I absolutely abhor using the word "interesting" in order to describe something.  But in sheer desperation, I have no other word to use in describing his Modus Operandi.  You are infinitely more qualified to describe what his intentions may be here.  Any thoughts?  What Say You?


The article was about this artist....

He repaints old masters' and leaves out the people...
Here is my reply:

Provocative that he left out all the people...kind of like that Earth Without People show.

I have no problem with manipulating original art. It's just sitting there asking for it anyway.
There are a whole bunch of people who add (or subtract) from thrift shop kitch. They are almost all silly, but why not.
Now to the question at hand: 
"What his intentions may be here."

The more relevant question is: How the work affected you....and now me.
What he intended is rather irrelevant. If it, say, made us love our parents more, then we would "know" that it was his intentions. If we wept with memories of lost love....you get my point.
How I, personally, react is directly influenced by my years of studying these same images, though unaltered. I find these alterations humorous. I imagine a medieval art class with students sitting around with instructions to copy the master work before them, and one guy just left out the people. His conversation with the instructor when asked why he did that is a matter of conjecture.
I further imagine the guy who left out the people just fucking with art snobs who think there are some things that are sacred and unalterable because......wait for it..........because they say they are sacred and unalterable.
But I am also jaded to the ways of artists and my best sense is that the guy created these works to shock and thus get attention, which, as is evidenced by your and now my reactions, he was most successful. 
Cynicism lives, but who's to say that shocking others and getting attention for yourself are not valid reasons for making art?



I don't know the meaning of the word "quit"!

Never mind, I just looked it up. And, yeah, I totally do that all the time.


"F. Scott Fitzgerald!"

- A person who's totally pissed at Scott Fitzgerald


It's like a little tiny Christmas whenever you figure out that the chair actually reclines a little further.



You know you might have an eating problem when every time a coworker asks you what you had for lunch, you begin with "A tub of......"



I took the dare....
I found this on an art site. It was actually a display in a gallery. You are asked to stare into his eyes for as long as it takes.....I thought it was worth the wait....
There is something sublime in that gesture.


"No, Mr. Shark. I expect you to die."

The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.



I'm a huge fan of 50 Cent, by the way, or as he's known in Zimbabwe, four hundred million dollars.


And I thought it was my neighbor's dog....

Secret Posts can sometimes be fun....
So does the custodian.
Speaking of cleaning up,
wouldn't this be like twice as hard?

 I just hope he didn't waste their money on a mathematics degree.

When you see something like this, do you actually care if he is black or white?

If I became invisible, I would go to Paris, find a performing street mime and beat him to death.

The round of applause he'd get would be astounding.

We all have a cousin like these guys, don't we...

Seriously, without ever hearing language, what mechanism does a deaf person think in?


Arab chic....

I think I have scoliosis, but it's just a hunch.



Have you used the number 25 today? Think about it...it's important.



I think this is a great idea, but I bet it's got sensors to stop it if your foot his hanging over the edge or some such shit....

If you think the problems the government created are bad, just wait until we see their solutions.


 I wonder if she's figured out anything important yet.


My young great-nephew once got out of bed, walked to the bathroom and peed in the trashcan. Children are college roommates that don't pay rent.


That's about 60mph, folks....

Do you have any idea how silly Obama would look doing this....

Naming storms Irene or Sandy sounds to nice. You name them something like Murderthon 3000 and people will know some bad shit is going down!


"Hey, kids, how do you like American football?"

Hey, Ditka, how do you like little kids.....

Don't you hate it when the pizza man rings your doorbell and you have to put on pants?


 Done with a pencil....

What a fucking prick!
I don't care how big and tough he is, I'm at least trying to get my ball back.

In the interest of fighting the childhood obesity epidemic, I've decided to eat all the Halloween candy my wife bought.



How much is appropriate to tip the police officer who opens the squad car door for you?



Google Street View of Grand Canyon...

Why do people with bad breath always the ones who want to whisper secrets?



When I met my wife it wasn't exactly love at first sight. More like resignation after that third six-pack.



I'm always disappointed when my lip gloss doesn't taste the way it smells. I feel the same way performing connilingus on a girl wearing perfume.



If Romney wins I'm leaving the country. This has nothing to do with politics, I'm just going on a prolonged vacation to Canada next spring.



This person should not breed....

Are those his wife's pants?!?!
 Where is his fucking manhood?


Republicans blaming Obama for the slow recovery is like John Wilkes Booth blaming Lincoln for missing the 2nd act of the play.



 This one takes a little patience....

Who the fuck films themselves playing with a toy sword?

Looking at their faces when I ask them if there were two polar bears and two kangaroos on the ark....

To the guy who saw me dancing naked around my kitchen to the Family Guy theme song; I am so very sorry.



Bite marks are love notes written in flesh.



Keep an eye on the girl in red....

Well, I guess we all need hobbies....

"I've seen fire and I've seen rain."

- James Taylor bragging to a blind guy


I got my hand stuck in a Pringles can the other day. I pretended it was a ray gun. Thank you, Pringles, for the best 5 minutes of my life.



When my wife discloses something embarrassing about me...



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