FOLIO OLIO: WEDNESDAY #1516

TWO STORIES I WOULD LIKE TO SHARE

My dear friend, Bernie the Jew, told me this story. When he was a younger man, he took a trip to Munich, Germany. At the train station he asked for a ticket to Dachau. He wanted to walk through the death camp and feel what any Jew would feel. The ticket agent asked, "One way?"

And Bernie's gaze narrowed and he said, "No. Not this Jew. Not this time."

Now you know why I love this man.

I was sitting at a red light yesterday with my window down and a car pulled up beside me. Then I heard a young woman's voice say, "You want to play the whistle game?"

I turned to look and found a beautiful, beaming young black woman who said, "I was in your class and I still remember the whistle game!"

I thanked her for bringing it all back.

Early in my teaching career I found that one of the hardest things to do was get the kids to stop making art and clean up in preparation for departure. So I gave them five minutes to clean up, with the promise that any left over time would be spent playing any number of games that I had developed for children.

One of those games was the Whistle Game, whereby I would whistle the first note of a song. If a child knew the song, they could raise their hand and tell me. If they were correct they got a Hersey's Kiss. If they got it wrong, they were out of the game and couldn't guess again. With no winner I would then whistle the first two notes, and so on.

The complexity of the games we played was directly proportional to the time remaining after clean-up and by the time those little bastards got in the fifth grade, clean-up was down to about 30 fucking seconds...max.

Problem solving 101.

Your welcome.

THE DAY HE COULDN'T

As a lad he had helped his father build the stairs that aided the residents' descent from the hill down to the park and the town beyond. Each day of his life he had descended the stairs in the morning and ascended the stair at the end of the day. The first few years it was his route to school, then later to his shop. But on this day, with his knees, back and will dulled by age, he knew he would never make it to the top and would not even try.
He sat with a moan, knowing his son would soon come to assist. And his son would understand.

Don't get me wrong. I love this image. But...

...if the motherfucker loves books so much, why isn't he working his ass off to protect them from the elements?
I would.

When I see stuff like this, I always think that somewhere there was the very first person to construct the arch bridge...

...and we don't even know his name.

Old image that should be reposted from time to time, just to put your "tough day" into perspective...

It's all about the light....

A rare steak, because I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to eat a salad.

How clever...

Whenever confronted by a cheeky child, I lean over and whisper, "Don't worry. You mom told me that you are bound to get better looking as you get older."

A case could be made that the movie Django used the word "nigger" more than any other movie.

When I have a complex task to do, I always make a list of the small steps required. Only then do I give up.

Please take a moment to study this image and try to imagine what is going through this young man's mind...

Life skills...

So, you feel like an independent person adrift in a vast uncaring culture? Tell me, can you replace a door knob? Or do you just call the Super? What about a light switch, a leak in your faucet, or a broken chain on a ceiling fan?
I know that most of you city dwellers know other life skills, like which subway stop you should not get off at because you will be mugged; the market to avoid because the steak may be horse meat; what gang color to wear or not wear; and how to identify a real woman from a man dressed up like a woman.
These are valuable skills, granted, but the rest of us have what is called a "tool box", which contains implements we use to fix shit that we rely on.
You may want to do a little research on that.

Oddly satisfying...

Wave motion. Each dot just moves right and left...

I used to play opera arias in my classroom. The children reacted exactly like the Shawshank prisoners.

Whenever I get a wrong number and the caller asked who I am, I say, "Salman Rushdie, but don't tell anybody."

Define "many"...

Have you looked at the financial worth of the different strata in America? That shit don't happen by accident...

This motherfucker thought that the entire world was one big prison camp just like the one he lived in...

Nobody uses a mouse in a movie. They can make a computer do anything by just typing a few things on the keyboard.

I'm skeptical of this, but there is supposed to be a documentary coming out...

Alert cops stops a suicide...

I heard this definition: Happiness is health and a short memory.
I like that very much.

Lights in movies make loud noises when turned on.

I hope this is true...but I'm not sure...

I did watch "Little Big Man" and assume it's true.

This is what happens when a reporter writes an article from their notes without really understanding same...

The trouble is, I'm not much of a thinker...

I find myself trying to find a correlation between two objects...kind of like this.

That person's discovery would elate me for a fucking week!

All the time saving devices that were supposed to "free" us for more important things....

Like fucking what? Playing computer games? Watching reality TV? How did it all go so wrong?

Boy, this hit home. I have posted several images and such over the....fattening of America. I meant no harm. Fitting into someone else's notion of the ideal repulses me, but there are health issues that need to be addressed....

How to dress for your shape:
Are you human-shaped? Play up your confidence by wearing whatever the fuck you want.

Don't make too many sober decisions.
Cause when sober decision go south the only one to blame is youself.

I'd play poker with the bitch...

You are dead. You are fucking DEAD! Quit with the taking up room on the planet. What kind of fucking egotistical asshole are you that you more or less demand that the place where your body is rotting should be remain untouched for...oh....EVER!?