One
Of My Very Own…
Gun control laws to stop
terrorists…like the ones they have in France and Holland and Germany.
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Got three minutes for my main man, Johnny?
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Hey you, with the thumbs!
Animals coming to humans for help.
He had a hook and line in his flesh.
This one requires no explanation.
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It all started with this post from an A10 pilot named Linda.
Then the interweb did hundreds of things like this...
And then the combination of two of the hottest manipulations...
That gif stops sometimes, and I don't know why.
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Behold the earthquake bed.
It looks like a normal bed with a normal mattress and pillow. But when it detects an earthquake, it opens up, swallows the mattress and human, then everything closes up to make an ultra-strong container.
They even put one in a building being razed by explosives and the dummy inside was unscathed.
It is also loaded with supplies while you await rescue.
I'm guessing the blue boxes are beer.
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Well, there goes her mother of the year award...
In the mother's defense,
what did the baby ever do for her. But she did save the shit out of the flowers.
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Wow. Does that make sense to anybody?
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Speaking of food...check this out...
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Them: “Don’t you exercise?”
Me: “I exercise my right to be as lazy as I fucking want.”
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"He must smell my..."
"Hey, I know EXACTLY what he smells."
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Not all climbs go as scheduled.
Did you watch until the end? You should have.
Can we assume that was filmed from a drone?
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The Onion.
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I will never tire of watching these.
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Rat takes selfie on
sleeping mans phone in the subway.
Did you notice how unfazed that rat is?
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I have tried to identify ever single example of this in my life. I don't always change my behavior, but at least I hold it up and look at it carefully.
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Last night I shot 10 Nerf darts at my light switch from my
bed, missed all of them, then just slept with the lights on.
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No. I think means you are not sure, means the same as I suppose. Or at least I think so.
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Subtitles are so entertaining.
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Always jingle all the way, nobody likes a halfass jingler.
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I get in this weird mood where I don’t want to talk to
anybody and just want to be left alone. I call this mood, Awake.
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And this is what it has come down to...
So, let me get this straight. You go to the bathroom and come back and she looks like this and I'M SUPPOSE TO ASK HER TO READ AND SIGN THAT FUCKING CARD?!
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If a woman asks, "Do I look fat?", it’s not
enough to say “No.” You must also act surprised by the question and, if
necessary, jump backwards.
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I know I'm a privleged white man, but I have heard more than once that some employees are unfireable due to their race. I put that cashier with the 2 inch nails who can't hit the buttons in that category, or the employee behind the counter who greets you with "Yeah?"
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If you are going to sin, sin big.
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Chinese factory worker Xiao
Wei lost his right hand in an accident at work but doctors were able to save
the limb by temporarily grafting it to his ankle. The man will still need
additional surgeries to restore mobility in the limb, but the hand is now
successfully reattached to the arm and doctors are optimistic he will regain
the full function of his hand.
Speaking of hands...
I didn't know that.
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"What if I tried to put a ball somewhere and you
tried to stop me?"
- guy who invented sports
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