About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Saturday, May 28, 2016

SATURDAY #2715

One Of My Very Own… 


My wife and I experimented with a lot of music to play to enhance sex. This is our latest choice...



ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com



I have a new desktop image...






I told my bartender and servers today that as I understood it, during the Memorial Weekend veterans drank free. One guy cheered wildly and the bartender asked him if he was a veteran and he said, "Will, in the 80s I fought in the War on Drugs..........I lost.
I thought that very funny.

Then later the late night shift took over and told of sitting in the waiting room at the county building where you get birth certificates to get her child in kindergarden. The woman next to her got on her phone and after a little chit-chat said, "Oh, I'm just sittin' here in the DMV. (pause) What is the DMV? Oh, girl, it's that big room with all the chairs where you wait." My bartender felt it best not to correct the woman.
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You know you watch a lot of international soccer when the camera scans the crowd and you recognize some of the spectators.



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Boss - can you pass a piss test?
Me - Sure...distance or accuracy?


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PUBLIC ART


I drew out a mural proposal very similar to that, but the day before I was to present it there was a similar...just similar...Australian mural published in our local newspaper. I instantly tossed my design into the trash.Not sure what the meaning of this next one is...


One last appeal to the graffiti writers out there. PUT YOUR SOUL IN THE GAME!! Say something! Speak your truth! You may make mistakes, but that is part of the game. Find something you are passionate about and SPEAK IT THROUGH YOUR ART..........please.

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Ran across this illusion one again...

Still made me smile.

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The good ole USA...




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When my family at the reunion said, "I think we got way too much beer." I knew I finally had my chance to shine...to be the hero.
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Air Cav.

Do they look like badasses? Maybe not, but they flew right into the jaws of death because...we told them to. Let's be stingy with such folks in the future...shall we

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A Chinese girl who has lived with body parts of a parasitic twin growing out of her back for 11 years is to finally have an operation to remove it.

Do you think her parents allowed her to look in a mirror is such a way to see her..."twin." What an awful thing to have to have excised. Your twin. Jeez.

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Check out his remorseful expression...

Imagine the naïveté of parents thinking these "offenses" were worthy of punishment.

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My teacher friend with her three children...

She's the one who taught me to play opera arias while my students were busy. Afterwards we talked about the music and it was a beautiful thing.
Some thought the song sad, others happy. You can learn so much from children.

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It's one of the first vibrator ads.

Can you imagine how big the stick is that up the ass of this next person...


This is more my speed...



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What's the new etiquette rule: am I supposed to wait until my wife is done photographing her meal before I start eating mine?
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I've never killed a swan.
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A real Wagon Train

I get safety in numbers...from bandits or indians, but that is a whole bunch of mouths to feed. Could all those folks carry enough food for the whole journey?

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THINGS GOING TO SHIT

Invisible methanol fire

One would think they would practice running TOWARD the fire extinguishers.

So, you come over a slight rise in the highway and see this. What would you do?

A) Stop and take pictures.
B) Turn around instantly and get the hell away.
C) Stop and see where it is going.
D) Shat yourself, then drive away.

What is wrong with people? Why do they want to witness shit that is dangerous? I have posted dozens and dozens of clips of people frozen, staring death in the face. That is insanity.

As I understand it such storms are an aid in parking.


Have you ever been so furious you smacked a bitch with your dog?

(that one image was worth your visit to Folio Olio today, wasn't it)

Renaissance Festival disturbed by modern technology. Quick, what do you do?

Another one of those "Gone Viral" and everybody has seen it clips.

There is always a down side to everything...


And this asshole didn't spill the bowl...



Yeah, he probably made it, but it's still irresponsible.


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I identify myself as transintellectual. I'm a smart person trapped in the body of a stupid asshole.
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In 1916 his great-grandfather built this house from a Sears home kit. 100 years later the grandson restored it to its original beauty.

I watched a documentary on Sears home kits. They had plenty of floor plans and absolutely EVERYTHING you needed was shipped to your lot...down to the different sized nails and foundation bricks. Take that Ikea.

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More graffiti writing...

Yeah, kid, as long as you remember to get off your ass and work for it.

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I watched two movies last night. The first was an awful spoof on the Taken movies called Tooken. The only redeeming scene was a man facing the super-villain who had a 5 foot sword, so the hero down a whole bottle of Viagra and grew a 5 foot dick, and they had at one another...


The other movie was Run, Boy, Run, a story about a Jewish lad who managed to elude the Nazis for the whole war. I rated it 5 stars.

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I just occurred to me that I share a lot with Andy Goldsworthy.

He places things around for people to stumble upon without being there to receive any accolades.

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Your bellybutton is your first scar. For most boys getting part of his dick cut off is the second.
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You know how I am about word gags...


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My wife thinks I ought to wear this to my bar...

The staff agrees.

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If someone gave you a box containing everything you've ever lost, what would be the first thing you'd look for?
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Another nice illusion...


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And for your viewing pleasure...


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What is possible when neighbors actually like one another...


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After the machine uprising, robots in the club will dance "The Human" by compulsively overeating and playing with their phones on the toilet.
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Bioluminescence.


Dolphins swimming in same...


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My wife once yelled, "FOR THE LAST TIME, MY EYES ARE UP HERE" to her gynecologist.
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GOD'S "CHOSEN" PEOPLE.



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