FRIDAY #3237

One Of My Very Own

EMAIL: ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

John Philip Sousa

NEWSY BITS

Want to guess what this costume represents?

Don't scroll fast!

Hahahabananahaha!

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I had a lot of money bet on the Dodgers, but I console myself with the knowledge that those young people needed the money more than I.

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You don't shoot Bambi, jackass! You shoot Bambi's mother!

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PEOPLE

I got up early one morning and decided I wanted sausage and eggs, but we had no sausage. So I went to the grocery two blocks from my house and as I was picking out the sausage, there were two young black men standing beside me. One of them said, "I'll get the bacon," then he took two pound packages and shoves them down his pants just like the young man above. I looked over and he looked me right in the eye with an expression that said, What the fuck are you going to do about it? So I walked up front and after paying told the check out girl what had happened. She demanded that I identify them. I declined; explaining that there were only two other people in the store. Then I left.

Do black people steal more than white people? Well, poor people steal and in my neighborhood most poor people are black. No judgement, just an observation.

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You do that all day every day and it's just like any other job. The whole creativity thing is gone.

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Stay classy Illinois.

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We Americans pay money to watch people do that to each other.

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Those are some lucky sumbitches.

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He must have thought the world was ending.

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This is the guy who gets paid to touch your junk.

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Racing in the rain is no big deal in Europe. They just change to rain tires and keep racing. Here in America we delay a race for DAYS if there is even a threat of rain. Pussies.

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I oh so love problem solvers.

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My exact reaction when I got that warning from Google about something or other being offensive with my blog.

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When baking for the holidays, don't Google cream pies; Google cream pie recipes. Trust me.

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PLACES

Chile over Europe

Me and maps...go figure.

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Percentage of Europeans who are willing to fight a war for their country

Germans are like, fuck you, not again.

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Number of People Incarcerated (proportionally) by State

You must realize that the South locks more people up because we are the bible belt. No, seriously, we are poorer and as stated above, poor people are more lawless.

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The longest straight line on a map you can draw without touching an ocean.

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US states overlaid on areas of Europe with equal population

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Culture Clash

Rules dictate, but they don't have to.

The way I got it figured the local people are governed by rules made up by long dead people that no one can remember. But the Western girl has a set of rules she feels compelled to obey also. Her rules were not made up by some religious mumbo-jumbo, but rather her corporate overlords. She wears the same clothes as her friends who read the same magazines as she. And has the same phone. And make-up. And jewelry.

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I'll called a solid bullshit on that a long time ago.

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I would sit and weep if I were there.

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Rail surfers beware.

I read that the surfers have money for a ticket inside, but there just isn't enough seats or standing room. 

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71 years old and never have I seen something like that so far out in the country. I like it very much.

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Traffic Jam near the Brandenburg Gate as East Germans move into West Berlin after the fall of the Berlin Wall. 1989.

I feel that the fall of the wall was one of the most important events of the last half of the century.

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Jesus fucking Christ! What are you hauling?

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Growing old just means you still do stupid things, only slower.

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THINGS

Holy shit. When you just have to kill that guy in a concrete building in the next state over.

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The trick is in using the tip of the pinkie as a guide.

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This shit.

Have someone describe to you what these taste like. It's damn near impossible.

I had one guy try to convince me that each color had a different taste. I can't think of a worse candy to actually put in your mouth.

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Cranberry Sauce?

Seriously, what the fuck is that?

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Fuck cats.

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Well, of course it is.

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You ever seen the spur strap over the pants leg before?

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I read that they take a couple of bits of the most protein rich part of the fish, then discard the rest. And surprisingly that was the guts and brain, but I wouldn't bet money on it.

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451 MPH RC Turbine Model Jet

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No price is too high to pay for a good laugh.

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WORDS, WORDS, WORDS

I read this on Netflix.

I couldn't resist and it was just as awful as a normal person would have known immediately.

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"Happy as a super model's panty shield." Now that's happy.

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??? I don't get it.

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