About Me

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I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Thursday, June 24, 2021

THURSDAY #4565

 One Of My Very Own

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EMAIL: ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

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But wait there's more...




The internet has a whole lot to say about these idiots...


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I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you differently.

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FUN WITH LANGUAGE


Like corporations giving money to both candidates in a Senate race.

^^A1^^

I don't know if Wendy's website is a fraud or if they are just extraordinarily clever.

^^A2^^

And...

Aaaaaand...

^^A 3-6^^

I'm conflicted. On one hand, if this were true I'd be annoyed with Hollywood for trying to remake every movie with female leads to appeal to feminists. On the other hand lotion.

^^A7^^

Of course, you can, Sparky. Just find a girl with similar third-grade grammar skills as you and then buy her some wings and a couple of beers.

^^A8^^

Just minutes before an operation to cure my Meniere's Disease the doctor came into my hospital room to find my wife in bed with me.

(That, of course, is not a photo of that moment but it's one of the few photos I have of her.)

Anyway, the doctor told her to stay where she was and then proceeded to outline what was about to happen to me:

"In a few minutes, a nurse will come in here and give you a shot that will make you very sleepy. Then we will take you to the OR and puts you sound asleep. Then I will cut your ear off and lay it aside. Then I will cut you eardrum away exposing your inner ear. Then I will use a drill to break up all the little bones. Then I will suck out all the fragments, sew your eardrum back in place, sew your ear back on, and we will be all done."

My then-wife turned to me and said, "Good thing you're going to be asleep."

And a good time was had by all.

^^A9^^

There really is a petition like that.

^^A10^^

Silly but timely.

^^A11^^

^^A12^^

Note: I didn't seek out references to marijuana today. They just, more or less, fell into my lap.

^^A13^^

^^A14^^

Why do rich people get to deduct their lunches, fishing trips, sailboats, etc? My friend's accountant told him he couldn't deduct his small sailboat because he didn't conduct business on it. So after that no matter who he had aboard, he not only asked a question or two about his art but kept detailed notes in a log. He got to deduct the boat.

^^A15^^

Remember when everyone thought that population control would solve all our problems and now that advanced countries aren't even replacing themselves everybody is freaking out.

^^A16^^

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Have you ever drank an iced coffee so strong that for like four minutes you had hoped?


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WHY I STAY CONFUSED


This obstacle is to slow everyone down, keep out wheelchairs, or encourage you to walk your bike. I can't tell which.

^^B1^^

Are they functional? Anybody?

^^B2^^

I try very hard not to be an old fashion fart but I draw the line at men preening.

Here would be my response:

"Ralph, I like a man with a shaved scrotum."

"Well, Darling, I like a woman with a tight vagina yet here I am."

^^B3^^

It took me four years to pay off the debt from my half of the delivery of my child by a girl I got pregnant in high school. I'm not bragging, I just don't understand fathers who shirk their responsibilities.

^^B4^^

My friend the Photoshopper:

My original post:

His alteration:

^^B5^^

But with good photoshop skills, it is becoming more and more difficult to know what is real and what is manipulated.

I chose that image to illustrate my tendency to find faces everywhere I look. I don't know if it's due to my art training or just my imagination but it's distracting sometimes.

^^B6^^

I have painted murals on many construction sites and have seen how the air vents are installed. They use thin wires to attach it to just about anything.

And the ones I saw weren't heavy-duty like the ones above but rather single strands and twisted a couple of times by hand.

You would never think of standing on one much less crawling through it.

^^B7^^

You pay good money to visit nature and then you screw it up? What kind of sense is that? I don't even leave a cigarette butt on the beach.

^^B8^^

In 1966, Americans were given their “Miranda rights” by the U.S. Supreme Court.

The judges ruled 5–4 in Miranda v. Arizona that the police must inform suspects of their rights before questioning them. Defendants must be informed of the right to consult with an attorney before and during questioning and of the right against self-incrimination, otherwise, evidence gained will not be admissible in court. Afterward, this Miranda warning became routine police procedure:

Rights that protect some protect all. 

A lot of people don't see it that way.

^^B9^^

Ever wonder why salting an icy road may not be the best solution?

The price for having drivable roads a little earlier has resulted in your car's value dropping to zero.

^^B10^^

I'm also in favor of getting goats to maintain your lawn.

^^B11^^

I've never understood why so many women refuse to sneak snacks into theaters. Here's my wife's last foray into a cinema.

I knew another girl who took a cold six-pack of beer and finished every one of them before the end of the movie. After emptying each, she placed it on the floor and let it roll as far as it could go.

^^B12^^

Haven't a clue. Anybody?

^^B13^^

Is there nothing too stupid that people won't use to explain death's aftermath? I don't think so. Remember, it is okay - even healthy - to say, "I just don't know."

^^B14^^

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A person from 150 years ago would be terrified by modern life. However, a duck from 150 years ago would just be like - Still got lakes. Okay, cool.


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WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT


The makeup game is strong with this one.

^^C1^^

The town of Aitoliko, Greece.

^^C2^^

I think that is a method of gold mining.

^^C3^^

^^C4^^

Another miracle of science.

^^C5^^

The oldest living species on the planet.

The litni shitni or Triops cancriformis are crustaceans that appeared on Earth in the Triassic period, about 220 million years ago.  They are of the same age as dinosaurs.

It was found in a rain puddle in Ukraine.

^^C6^^

It would change the entire scenario if it were a man's hand.

^^C7^^

^^C8^^

Failed Cash In Transit Heist After Action and Ballistic Analysis


It took me a while to translate that headline. It involves that video of this brave fellow that was seen millions of times.

The after-incident interview was enlightening and I strongly recommend it.

^^C9^^

And they hadn't a clue.

^^C10^^

BACKUP LINK

"Fuck this one car in particular."

- Earth probably

^^C11^^

Caught one step before escape...

^^C12^^

They paved my street today.


It's only been thirty fucking years.

^^C13^^

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I got this comment and thought it should be shared with you fine people:

"I love your apolitical posts. They (you) are humorous, insightful, artistic, and original. But when you get all "anti-trumpy" you are simply reposting the misleading fake news of others.

You are better than that."


He was upset that I remembered Trump calling the pandemic a hoax...on more than one occasion.


And that is why we have 25% of the world's covid deaths.


In my lead-in to every post is this statement of fact:

"This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while."

Well, I get pissed that conservatives fail to criticize the insanity of Trump's suggestions that:

We rake the forest, nuke the hurricanes, arm teachers, buy Greenland, stare at an eclipse, water bomb a burning cathedral, ingest disinfectant, doctor a weather map, hype a false drug, ignore Russian bounties, claim he won a lost election then inciting insurrectionists to stormed the Capitol, and that his loss of the presidency and the Senate wasn't his fault even though he has never polled over 49%. 

Let's cut to the chase. I would condemn any Democrat who did any one of those things. I set my values and ANY politician who violates them can expect my condemnation. I do not condemn their guy and praising my guy for doing the same thing. That is foolishness on a grand scale...and dangerous.

Therefore, if Biden loses and then sends his minions to storm the capitol in an attempt to stop the certification vote count will you defend him as you have defended Trump?

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This man owned a store that sold three necessities - beer, cigarettes, and gasoline. He wanted a mural.

I gave him this.

But the payment schedule was the clever part. As I have done countless times I offered the funding source a choice between cash and trade. The trade is almost always three times the cash price and they ALWAYS choose that option. So I got "free" beer, cigarettes, and gas for a year or so for a weekend of toil.



8 comments:

Anonymous said...

B3:. Paraffin - wax
Stuff to make candles in the kit.
Paraffinalia

Anonymous said...

Puzzle time: Ruby, opal, Jade

Anonymous said...

Puzzle: Jade, opal, ruby

Suppe said...

#B13
Playing with the similar sounding word "paraphernalia".
Paraffin is an oil-based wax for candles.

puzzle:
ruby
opal
jade

Anonymous said...

^^A10^^ Last time I looked the signature count was over 100,000. Fuck this guy.

MIKE HARRIS said...

Ralph, you always have to occupy the moral high ground, like all socialists. What a pompous prig you are...

Anonymous said...

Hey, Mike, Why don't you quit your fucking whining and share some of your superior ideas for making our country more perfect.
Oh, and you forgot to put an image number like your host requested.

Anonymous said...

Mikey must be a 45 cult member.
PS: I have never experienced what this country went through under 45. (I refuse to speak or write his name)
Towanda

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