About Me

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I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Friday, July 2, 2021

FRIDAY #4573

 One Of My Very Own

*That groaner was posted on Father's Day.

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EMAIL: ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

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Do dogs understand elevators or are they like okay, it's time to get into the world-changer?


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PONDERABLES


Those stupid bastards. But on a positive note, every single one of them votes Republican.

^^A1^^

^^A2^^

It's called Critical Race Theory and it scares the holy fuck out of conservatives. Learning facts of history = scary. Only in America folks.

^^A3^^

Another fine bit of dialogue.

^^A4^^

^^A5^^

^^A6^^

Brilliant!

^^A7^^

^^A8^^

^^A9^^

^^A10^^

Texas Foreskin Masacre

Dude, Where's My Foreskin?

Honey, I Shrunk the Foreskin

The Devil Wears Foreskin

No Foreskin For Old Men

A Fistful of Foreskin

Oh, Foreskin Where Art Thou?

^^A11^^

^^A12^^

^^A13^^

^^A14^^

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A cooking competition show but all the chefs' spouses are there to somehow stand in front of whatever drawer the chefs need to get into.


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OBJECTS OF INTEREST


The before and after photos of the excavation of Ephesus.

^^B1^^

^^B2^^

London Natural History Museum in London, England.

As a fan of architecture, I would just walk around looking at the building.

^^B3^^

And now they have super white paint for that very purpose.

^^B4^^

This is a fondant cake.

Yeah, I had to look it up...

^^B5^^

Do you see what I see?

There's a face in the ice.

^^B6^^

Next up: a plate vending machine

Absurdity Lovers like myself need one of those on every corner.

^^B7^^

^^B8^^

Old fashion Photoshop.

^^B9^^

Why wouldn't he just stick a cup onto the bottom of the bottle?

^^B10^^

^^B11^^

^^B12^^

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Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.


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PEOPLE NOT LIKE US


He was praised for his courage but nobody gives a shit anymore...do they?

^^C1^^

^^C2^^

Never ever celebrate too early...

How fucking embarrassing.

^^C3^^

^^C4^^

^^C5^^

^^C7^^

How very cruel...and funny.

^^C8^^

MP Taser Training

^^C9^^

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Baseball was the only sport other than fornication that I was voted onto the All-Star team multiple times...except for that one woman.


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MODES OF LOCOMOTION


Unbelievable tractor brakes and thank god he had chained down and air hooked up.

^^D1^^

Don't give up on this too early...

Egypt.

^^D2^^

^^D3^^

Did you notice how tattered that thing's feathers look? Is that normal?

^^D4^^


^^D5^^

Guess what this is.

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The wheel of a train on top of the railhead.

Just look how little contact there is between the wheel of a train and rail. I'm assuming that is one reason it's hard to stop.

^^D6^^

But wait, there's more...

^^D7^^

Yeah, I want a Mars Rover to do that.

^^D8^^

^^D9^^

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So the whole system is computer operated down to a gnat's ass and still a train too tall for an underpass occurs? 

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Oh, and asking hard questions is forbidden.

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Actually, the dip in the river looks like it would be more fun than skateboarding.

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Find Three Differences


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The Capitol Restaurant was on Main Street in Columbia, SC, and within a stone's throw of the Capitol Building. It stayed open 24/7 and after midnight was crammed with hungry drunk people.

This was the amazing waiter. He could take the orders of a half-dozen drunks and even though he never wrote anything down he never fucked up an order.

Well, one night in 1972 after five of us celebrated a bachelor's party we ended up in the Capitol Restaurant at 3am very drunk. When it came time to leave I told the rest of the guys that I had it and for them to go start the car. After waiting in line at the cashier for a few minutes I calmly walked out the front door stiffing them for the whole table.

I thought about that for twenty years, then in 1992 I was in a bar next door to the Capitol Restaurant and won $100 on the poker machine. I took my winnings and walked straight into the restaurant's front door. I waited for the owner to be free at the register and told him what I had done. I then slid the hundred-dollar bill across the counter and said, "Would this make us even?"

He put his hand on the bill, looked me in the eye, and said, "It works for me if it works for you."

I nodded and walked out the door and never had to rue the guilt again.


3 comments:

Anonymous said...

^^C1^^ One take I saw: Big strong man stands on the shoulders of sissies.

Anonymous said...

3 differences: earring, extra waist string, cloud in the top left

Anonymous said...

C4: some people are perfect.
Raul

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