About Me

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I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Tuesday, July 20, 2021

TUESDAY #4591

One Of My Very Own

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EMAIL: ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

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THAT REMINDS ME


I lived in Oklahoma City for a few years. At one time it was the largest city in the world as far as area went. They had incorporated the entire county and immediately set about paving roads in a one-mile grid of perfectly straight roads that seemed to go on forever on uninhabited land. 

The land is so flat that driving toward a stop sign at an infection at 60mph you could look right and left for half a mile and not even have to slow down for the stop sign.
^^A1^^

I walked toward a tool company to buy a hammer drill when by sheer luck they were demonstrating hammer drills in the parking lot. I listen to the guy's spiel and even used it myself. Then told him I wanted to buy it. He told me that there was a display inside the store and I said, "No, you misunderstand. I want to buy this one...cash." He sold me the demo drill at half price.

^^A2^^

Hell, we still have a room we call the Computer Room. I built a mammoth shelve/desk combination that filled the whole end of the room.


To make sure I didn't make any mistakes I laid both shelves next to each other and drew the lines on the boards at the same time in the same place. But this vertical piece is crooked.

That's because I nailed one end to the left of the line and the other end to the right of the line. 

The best-laid plans never survive stupidity.

^^A3^^

I'm a sci-fi guy myself and Netflix is woefully failing to sate my appetite. If you ever see a good sci-fi on Netflix or Prime please send me the title. I would appreciate it very much.

^^A4^^

My favorite story has Lot fucking his two daughters until they get pregnant. A story every child should learn to prove their God is not a pervert.

^^A5^^

Near the coast, mosquitoes are the bane of Southerners' existence. They are ravenous and laugh at store-bought sprays.

^^A6^^

I think that is a grouper as is this one...

Every summer we used to fish on boats like this. I was a skinny kid and that reel wore my ass out.

I do remember that all the fish caught on one side went into a common cooler. They would give you a code like "One" which meant on a cut mark on the head or "X" or "X One One", etc. On the dock, they would separate the fish using those marks.

And most wonderfully the boats offloaded on a pier that was visible out the windows of a huge restaurant.

^^A7^^

While in middle school I went home with a friend who had a snake. I was amazed that a live mouse scurried around inside the same aquarium as lived the snake. My friend explained that the snake actually likes the warmth of the mouse...until it got hungry. As a watched the snake lifted its head and instantly the mouse knew it was in great peril. The snake watched the darting mouse for several long minutes then when the mouse stopped to rest the snake head-butted it. I was told that the snake did not want to kill the mouse, only stun it so he could swallow it alive.

^^A8^^

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Another problem with staythefuckathome is that people always know where to find you.


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TUESDAY SILLINESS


^^B1^^

^^B2^^

She needs to trim those pubes.

^^B3^^

Every movie is set in a world where that movie doesn't exist...except Spaceballs.

^^B4^^

^^B5^^

^^B6^^

^^B7^^

I am thrilled to read names that are combinations of common words. Lovejoy is my all-time favorite.

^^B8^^

*MNBT

^^B9^^

Forget Netflix and Chill it's time to...

^^B10^^

*I love absurdity so.

^^B11^^

Have you ever wondered how much practice and training it takes to master that level of expertise?

Shoe Ninja.

^^B12^^

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The sexual position formally known as 69 is now 96 since the cost of eating out has gone up.


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ON STUPIDITY


And the raping bastards were too stupid to realize that those little boys would grow up big enough to kick their ass.

^^C1^^

Only an Antichrist would try to provide every American with affordable healthcare. How dare he.

^^C2^^

And the guy who tried for four years to take away your affordable healthcare? Well, he's just divine.

According to these people...

Jesus is King is on Trump's side.

Here are some of the comments about that chart:

- These people are fucking mental

- That’s some absolute psychopathic shit

- Jesus is king but Trump is in the center….. bout sums up this whole group of GQPers.

- The creation of an active drug user or someone who needs to be on antipsychotics.

- What they’re trying to do is deify Trump in the same way that North Korea did with the Kim dynasty.

- Hakf those people are certifiable.

- The literal dictionary definition of “Mental Health issues”.

- Stark raving fanaticism.


*I prefer just plain cultism.


PS: Anyone who thinks that is anything other than cultism, please take the time to explain to me how it makes sense otherwise. I dare you.

^^C3^^

^^C4^^

^^C5^^

^^C6^^

A favorite uncle once told me that I might outrun a cop but I can't outrun a radio.

^^C7^^

I want some of what he had cause sometimes I just want to get stupid too.

^^C8^^

The fire got dangerously close to his nylon rope. I have a safety harness just like that.

The man is stupid because he doesn't have a ground man who could have put out the fire before it rushed up the tree.

^^C9^^

If the vehicle crashed or malfunctioned that beast would stomp the ever-loving shit out of her. And that's stupid.

But it did look familiar...

^^C10^^

He floated into the far bank, which, of course, is stupid.

^^C11^^

There are no words to explain such stupidity but he's going to try when he files his insurance claim.

^^C12^^

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I don't mind paying my taxes when the poor can't. But I do mind paying my taxes when the rich won't.


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WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT


Hell, that would be worth dying for.

^^D1^^

They have a food truck permanently parked not far from my home. It serves hot dogs...FIVE-DOLLAR HOT DOGS! And a friend told me they aren't even that good. Jeez.

^^D2^^

^^D3^^

There must be a rather large tolerance for error.

^^D4^^

^^D5^^

^^D6^^

^^D7^^

Let this fine frolicking fellow remind you to celebrate the small pleasures in life.

^^D8^^

^^D9^^

^^D10^^

Well, not all of them...

^^D11^^

God, I love watching pros work...

^^D12^^

Drone Display

FULL VIDEO

I am in favor of drone displays replacing fireworks. Think about it: there is a very slim chance that a drone will harm you, the drone factory doesn't routinely explode, there is no noise, and they don't pollute the air.

^^D13^^

And that, boys and girls, is why they want your trees trimmed.

^^D14^^

New York

I saw (and lost) a clip of a guy stepping inside a large garbage bag, pulled it up to his crotch, stepped in the water, and immediately the water filled the bag.

^^D15^^

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They park the school buses right on the other side of those walls at this junior high school. A student suggested this design and we went with it. The students painted every bit of it in two days. Thank goodness for masking tape.


 

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Puzzle time:
Astronomy
Painting
Reading

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