THURSDAY #1770

I don't want government to shut down.

I want government to shut up.

 Yeah, that about nails it.

Having trouble with your government?
Have you tried turning it off, then back on?

This part of the whole sordid affair is disgusting...

Did you know that congress is exempt from every law they write, even though the constitution explicitly forbids it?

Yeah, NASA will keep working with our people on the ISS, but not the rest.

 Now, THIS is the way to protest...

Americans' two biggest problems:
1. Getting a close parking place.
2. Getting more exercise.

Near Çıralı, Turkey, on that nation's southwestern coast, you can find fires burning near the shore. They've burned for thousands of years, fueled by underground sources of methane and hydrogen. Kaushik of Amusing Planet writes about the impact they left on ancient observers:

For hundreds of years, sailors could see the flames from sea and used them as a landmark to navigate, but today they are more often used by hikers to brew tea. These flames, according to some ancient literature, gave birth to the myth of the Chimera, a fire breathing mythical beast with the body and head of a lion, with the head of a goat arising from its back, and a tail that ended in a snake's head.

Nice...

What if Steven Hawking is actually brain dead, and his computer has just become self aware?

 Ever wonder what a 'butt stabber' looks like?

ADVICE FOR LIFE: Pay for things in cash so the money isn't 'imaginary'. You will be much less likely to waste it.

How Capitalism was designed to work...

Early on it was designed so that the rich would pay for poor, so they don't....oh....starve. But then the rich learned how to protect their assets, and now it is the middle class who now are so over taxed they can't afford to send kids to college. Whose fault is it? Not the rich. They are doing exactly what people have always done...protecting themselves.
It's your fault. You elected the people who have made the laws.

A new report says global warming is man-made, but it doesn't count because it was done by scientists and not someone important like Jesus.

 Artist rendering...

It a matter of the earliest known jaw.

That kid on the right looks EXACTLY like my young friend, Bill B.
It's fucking uncanny.

Have you ever woke up after a Saturday night binge without a hangover only to realize it was Tuesday?

I used to tell my daughter that she would never win a Nobel Prize unless she ate her vegetables.


Why we all love the Irish...

Fuck you evolution! All I got was a large frontal cortex and you gave this lucky motherfucker THIS!?

Made with thousands of wooden skewers...

How the fuck do porcupines fuck?

Lost in a strange city? Ask for directions in a pizza store, they know better than gas stations.


This is the baddest ass shit I have ever seen...

I'm not ashamed to admit that shit like that gives me a bit of a hard-on.


Believe it or not, I captured this image and knew it was worth discussing, but now I have no idea what it's about...

But by all indications, the South in America is pretty fucking unique.

Soccer bullshit comes to the NFL...

This is a self-stabilizing spoon for people with tremors...

Could there possibly be ANYTHING I could say about this that would make it understandable?

This shit sickens me...

Worth a repost...sort of like a warning to all you attention whore douche bags...

9000 drawings of dead bodies...

Young people killing themselves is a waste...in my opinion. I mean, you don't like your life? Move to Europe. Jump a train to...oh...Canada. Give it a year or two and see if you still want to do it.

But when you get old, all bets are off. You know you have done all you could do. I have no qualms with old people killing themselves.

There are grown men who actually know this stuff and think it's important...

But, how about maybe the princess wants to be with Bowser, but Mario keeps kidnapping her?

I liked this movie and still say "That'll do, pig" to my wife sometimes...

I sincerely believe that designers of public bathrooms do it in such a way as to amplify farts. Then they giggle.

I once told my self-conscious daughter she was fat just to save money on my grocery bill.

Wouldn't you think the Mars Chocolate Company would sponsor ever Eminem concert?

Haikus confuse me.
Too often they make no sense.
Hand me the pliers.


When my first wife was in high school, the rule was that girl's skirts had to come AT LEAST to the tips of her fingers held just like this...

I just bit the inside of my cheek. No, I did not cry like a baby. Babies don't have the lung capacity to do what I just did.

Maybe the reason why some of us stay up all night and sleep all day is because we were meant to live on the other side of the planet.


Protestors. You got to love protestors...

Might want to read this to the end...

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

The check-out lady gives me such a dirty look every time I buy beer, I get my wife to do as I drive the car around.

Have you ever flown in low over a city and wondered how many people down there are fucking?

Most of the people in America rubbed the lotion on their skin, but STILL got the hose anyway.