TUESDAY #2039

That fossil my great-nephew found...

From an email:

Either Exogyra Costata or Cancellata. I have consensus on E. Costata, so I'm sticking with that unless proven otherwise.

Just another reason I don't fly...

Alejandro Sabella’s reaction to Higuain’s miss.

Beer vending machine coming to a ballpark near you...

Fans attending games can go to a cash register, show their ID and preload a $10 or $20 card. For the All-Star Game, a $50 card will be available. Fans then scan the card at the machine and can choose between four beers and regulate how much they want to have poured.

Pencils glued into a block...

...then lathed into shapes...

The abuses of intrusive news crews makes me want to do this often...

And I'm not the only one who thinks so...

If I knew I was going to be in a nuclear attack, I would surround myself with a bunch of microwave popcorn. Just because.

 So, how rich do you have to be....oh, never mind.

Sole purpose is to hold themselves up...

And to receive that admiration from people like me.

People who put noses on smiley faces have too much time on their hands.

House house painting house house...

And on the 8th day, God created atheists and said, "Oh man, you're not gonna believe this."

Horseshoe crab…

...far, far older than the dinosaurs. Each year they are harvested for their blood, which can detect the most minute quantity of bacteria. After “bleeding” they are released back into the environment.

Interesting selfies...

Girls, if you’re told to take a breathalyzer test, be sure to retain eye contact with the officer and seductively wrap your mouth around the nozzle. If you do it effectively enough, he will let you go.

Homemade glass pipe...

 I WANT ONE!

One Of My Very Own...

Not to brag, but I think that's hilarious....dark, but hilarious. And he does own one of those bags I want.

Serious stuff to think about...

Even if you don't plan to prosecute the culprit, you need to follow the rape protocol.

A politician in Michigan...and this shit is true...

And.....

THE MOSQUITO CONTROL CAR?!?!?!

Moves pretty fast...may need to watch more than once...

Man finds car after a tornado. It cranked right up, so he cut off the offending bits and....

I’m losing my mind, but as long as I keep the part that tells me when I have to pee, I’ll be okay.

Craig Harrison (born 1975) is a Corporal of Horse (CoH) in the Blues and Royals RHG/D of the British Army, and holds the record for the longest confirmed sniper kill in combat, at a range of 2,475 m (2,707 yd). Established in November 2009, this exceeds the previous record of 2,430 m (2,657 yd) set by Rob Furlong in 2002. This record was certified by Guinness World Records.

In November 2009, Harrison consecutively struck two Taliban machine gunners south of Musa Qala in Helmand Province in Afghanistan at a range of 2,475 m (2,707 yd) using a L115A3 Long Range Rifle.

In a BBC interview, Harrison reported it took about nine shots for him and his spotter to initially range the target successfully. Then, he reported, his first shot "on target" was a killing shot followed consecutively by a kill shot on a second machine gunner then a third which disabled the machine gun. The presumed travel time of the projectile was estimated at 6.017  seconds, and with a estimated drop of 120.95 m (396.8 ft).

(now go back and look at the bullet drop)

This is what one $1500 fireworks look like. (is there such a thing as a singular “firework”?)

Luckily she’s so fat the whole word could fit...

Got a comment on an older post. It said: "Not a fan of your ethic racism. You don't need that to be funny." 

I'm assuming she meant "ethnic", but what can I say? I try very hard to make fun of everyone. My favorite targets are rednecks and I are one. So, lighten up...

If my attempts at humor offend you:

1.   I’m sorry.

2.   It won’t happen again.

3.   1&2 are lies.

4.   You’re a pussy.

A lame OOMVO...

Obsessed is a word the lazy use to describe the dedicated.

I think it cool that some religions have a built-in weight-loss program.

Sometimes having a dirty mind is a real burden...

When people ask me if I’m a god, I say “Yes. Yes, I am.”

I would think this one simple idea has saved tens of thousands of lives...

I talk to many young people and can attest that each and every one of them use these seven words in each and every sentence they utter...

Problem solved...

Holy fucking shit...

Do you think her going back up was them fucking with the looping or can she really do that?

Oh, my...

From a previous post you should have learned that this activity usually happens when animals are weaned too quickly.

A wild drill in its natural environment...

I once started a novel about the mummified Ice Man found in the Alps (that part was true) having a bolt in his pocket. The bolt was made of an unknown steel alloy and threading that matched none ever used on earth. For some reason, that image reminded me of that.

Bill Bailey moonwalking in 1955...

Said to be how logs are cut into lumber...

I dare to differ. I would say that 90% (at least) of the logs are cut into 2x4's and 2x6's for walls and roofs. 
I think it's just a piece of art. (Just???)

A thing of beauty...

Did you notice that the cameraman couldn't even keep up?
Did you also notice that he has a man wide open on his leg so all the hot dogging was really necessary.

Over the weekend, we learned that almost all the NSA's targets were innocent Americans. It also means the NSA is not only unable to claim otherwise, but that it cannot claim to safeguard the data--which, after all, got leaked.

AND THEN THERE'S THIS...
Southern Bowl Yodeling:

“Well, I grew up in the country as you probably could tell.  I was ten years old before I'd even seen indoor plumbing.  That was when my Dad, God rest his soul, put us in a commode right in the corner of the living room.  We didn't have no water yet, but we was ready for it.  Well, he just tacked up a 1/2-inch plywood partition around it and when we cut one in that empty bowl everybody around the heater could hear it.  Even in the winter we all liked to practice sitting on that cold commode for amplification, and we called it Bowl Yodeling, don't you know.  My brother, Skooter Bob, was by far the virtuoso of our family and was probably the best in the state.  He cut one once that sounded just like Donald Duck saying the Pledge of Allegiance.  We got it on tape.”

“No, shit?” 

“No, shit!  He got all the way up to 'under God' before three hemorrhoids popped out on him that was so big the surgeon's still got 'em in a glass jar over at the V.A. Hospital somewhere.  I think they were some kind of record.”