Oh, Gentle Readers, I have the most wonderful news...news that has left me completely, totally euphoric. My first grandchild is now growing healthily in my daughter's womb. I just got the news and am so emotional I couldn't even talk on the phone with her. Words cannot adequately express my joy...it's been an hour and I still can't talk. I can barely see these words on the screen through my tears.
I have often said that I have been a grandfather in training all my life. There have been so many things I have learned and learned how to do that I knew I would teach my grandchild, and now I can see that dream fulfilled.
If you have grandchildren, join with me in my joy by giving them a special hug. Tell them how special they are to you. And teach them something special...that special thing that only a grandparent can teach. If you don't have grandchildren (yet), trust me, the news is like everything good in life happening to just you...all at once...and it is overpowering.
Thanks for sharing my joy, and please, smile at least once today thinking about me and this most wonderful news.
Why has no one invented a toy that only works when kids are
whispering?
I dreamed I went to jail for doing something so fucked up
that the prison guards wouldn’t make eye contact with me.
Even after all these years I can still fit in the orange
jumpsuit they gave me in juvy.
While
the Blackbird SR-71 was the fastest manned airplane ever created, the fastest
manned aircraft title goes to the North American X-15, a rocket plane that flew
for the first time on June 8, 1959 released from the NASA NB-52B On October
1967 it pulverized all records: 4,520 miles per hour
In the search window of Pornhub, no one has ever typed
“Personality.”
Interesting sign...
In Hong Kong the shop owners in the area pleaded with protesters to stop so they could make a living.
Think of any other time in human history and imagine them posting signs like, "This castle is weapons free", or "This farmer doesn't own a gun." Kind of absurd isn't it.
WWI Christmas Truce....
I heard an interview with an old guy who said he knew that his enemy was just as miserable as he was and that neither one of them wanted to be there.
A WWII American G.I. tends to the wounds of a young German soldier...
My favorite part about the NFL is watching millionaires
beat the crap out of each other.
Henri
Matisse: The Cut-Outs
ENGLAND AS ALL BUT ELIMINATED RABIES
Here is one approach that drew some fire:
The
requirement for muzzling dogs extended to tiny, tame lapdogs, but not to
“sporting” dogs, those used for hunting — because the men writing the laws
didn’t want to muzzle their own dogs. (Their dogs were upper class, manly dogs,
how could they be rabid?)
Photography...
Drunk birds slur their songs
Researchers from the Oregon Health and Science University
got zebra finches drunk to see how the booze affected their singing in an
effort to gain insight into human speech.
Something I didn't know...
Stonehenge's
gardener mowing the grass, 1955
I bet that looked good on his resume.
This lady
is making food...somehow...
I was just informed that the shoes I ordered are still on
the boat in Miami because of a strike by the longshoremen. Sure, they get a
30 minute break for every hour or some such shit, and I don't get my shoes. What's up
with that?
Whoever missed the opportunity to call this the Boo-Boo Bus blew it...
This
is what a 600 ton hydraulic press does to $1.36 in change (gold
dollar/quarter/penny/dime).
I would so buy one of those.
What a great gift...
Here's some close-ups I hope you can read more clearly...
I’ve found that no matter what mode of transportation you
are on, smiling creepily and patting the seat next to you is the best method to
insure you sit by yourself.
There is not such thing as always.
You're welcome.
One Of My Very Own...
World's
largest family: 1 man, 39 wives, 94 kids, 33 grandkids...
Juxtaposition...
Female
fighters of the Kurdish People's Protection Units (YPG) stand near the border
between Syria and Iraq, close to the Iraqi town of Snoun
Look at that mound stretching off to the horizon.
Make something that didn’t exist before you made it.
Never do the same mistake twice unless she has big tits.
Why, exactly, isn’t tooth decay not ravishing the zombies?
I have been known to pretend to eat my dog's food at the table, then giving it to him.
This is a really big chain...
Note the size of the man's hand washing it at the end...
There
is a statue of Woody Harrelson in Budapest.
There is an old worn out joke about the government saying "We're here to help you." The reason that it's even moderately funny is that everyone knows the fear they feel when a "government man" shows up.
But when the government tells you that it's for your own good that they spy on us citizens, everybody just accepts it.
Well, I for one, do not accept it.
But when the government tells you that it's for your own good that they spy on us citizens, everybody just accepts it.
Well, I for one, do not accept it.
6 comments:
Congrats on becoming a grandpa!
You'll be a great grampa!
Congratulations, Folio! That precious child doesn't know it yet but he or she has hit the jackpot
in the grandparents department!. Much happiness to all!
Your wit and tallent, your wife's compassion and your daughter's intellect! Yep, I'd say that's going to be one special kid! Congratulations! :)
Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. I'm still trying to come to terms with how my life has taken a major turn for the better...when I didn't think it could be any better.
One day you guys will know...one day.
I look forward to that day myself. I've read your blog for over a year now and mostly just wanted to say hello, and that you and I don't agree on everything but you always make me think and you're rascal enough that you and I would get along just fine. Congratulations, you really will be a world class grandpa.
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